Ranma In Black

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and Men in Black belong to their respective creators and if you try to sue me, then I'll have you neuralized!

Author's notes from animeaddiction: Considering that I have WAY too many stories as is, this is one of the many ideas that just wouldn't go away!

Note from Morden Night: This chapter and the next chapter are both written by animeaddiction/Hung Nguyen. Chapters following will be written by myself.

< >: Thoughts
[" "]: Alien language

Chapter One

Aliens Among Us

"Are you sure about this, Agent C?" Zed asked as he looked at the profile on his desk.

"Well sir, he does have all the qualifications of a good field agent and his... shall we say, unorthodox fighting style and physical makeup would be an asset to us."

"What about that Jusenkyo curse of his?" The head of MIB asked.

"Not a problem sir. The new matter-field inversor beam splitter should take care of that. In fact, we'd be getting two agents for the price of one. Since Agent R is retiring soon, we do need a couple of field agents in Japan to look after the aliens that are already listed there, such as Ryoko, Washu and the Juraians."

"Hmmm..." Zed thought long and hard before giving Agent C the go-ahead. "Take care of all the final reviews and details on Ranma Saotome. If he proves to be MIB material, then he'll be the new Agent R."

"Yes sir. But what about...?"

"We'll think of something."

In Nerima...

Ranma Saotome, age 17, was breathing hard after just barely evading the Nerima Wrecking Crew. As usual, Akane and the rest of the mob were after him, either to smother him with affection, or to kill him. In just about all cases, they both meant the same thing. Akane had once again tried to force whatever she had concocted in the kitchen down his throat, Ranma had naturally refused and tried to get away before the unidentifiable blob tried to strangle him. This off course, set Akane off and she had him chasing after him with that damned mallet. As they passed through the streets of Nerima, they passed by Ryoga, Kuno, Shampoo, Mousse, Ukyo, and Kodachi and the inevitable chain reaction had occurred.

"Ranma, prepare to die!"

"Release the pig-tailed girl and Akane, vile magician!"

"Airen!"

"How dare you steal my Shampoo!"

"Ran-chan!"

"Ranma darling!"

After almost an hour of nonstop running and considerable property damage, the pig-tailed martial artist had managed to give them the slip. As he paused to catch his breath in a small alley, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up as he got the feeling that he was being watched. He whirled around in a defensive stance, but saw nothing but an empty alley. He decided that he was just jumpy and calmed down. He then muttered to himself about how out of control his life was. That was when his danger sense suddenly went ballistic as a dark shape suddenly dropped down toward him.

Ranma's reflexes took over as he dove out of the way of his unidentified attacker. The shape landed without a sound on the spot where Ranma had been and let off a strange noise that sounded almost like a broken accordion. However, it then lunged at Ranma again and the martial artist barely evaded the unknown foe and retaliated with a spin kick to what Ranma thought was its head.

The foot connected with a solid thwack and sent the thing reeling back. Ranma thought that the fight was over, but the creature rolled to its side and then let off that sound again and lunged at him repeatedly.

Ranma easily dodged the strikes and got in close. In less than a second, the heir to the Anything Goes let loose with a flurry of blows.

The monster was hit by dozens of rapid fire blows and became dazed, but it still pressed the attack. Seeing that he needed to put this thing down for keeps, Ranma focused his chi and released a confidence-fueled blast.

"MOKO TAKABISHA!"

The thing took the blast full in the center and howled in pain as it was blown into pieces. The thing then flattened out on the ground and its body collapsed in on itself, crumbling into powder. Before Ranma's astonished eyes, the remains of whatever had attacked him was blown away with an errant breeze.

"W-W-What the hell was that?!"

"Nice work."

Ranma whirled around at the sound of the voice and saw a young man in a black business suit standing behind him some twenty feet away.

"Hi there." The man waved. He was about 5'11" and looked to be about 170lbs. He has of medium build and had short red hair. He looked to be American.

"Who are you? How did you get here?" Ranma asked.

The stranger continued to smile at him. "That was impressive. I was about to interfere, but it seemed that you didn't need any help against that Carthorian Soul Sucker."

"What?! Is that... what you...?" Ranma shook his head in confusion. "W-Who are you? What do you want?"

Agent C stood before Ranma and held up his hands in a non-threatening gesture. "Take it easy Ranma Saotome. I'm not here because of some engagement that your father arranged or some vengeance thing."

"Huh? How do you know my name and...?"

The MIB agent simply shrugged and he put his hands in his pants pockets and said, "Oh, we've been watching you for time now Ranma. Ever since you were reported to have fallen into the Spring of Drowned Girl in Jusenkyo." He quickly raised a hand when Ranma was about to ask another question. "Yes, we know about that as well. In fact we know all about your life since you came to Nerima on that stupid promise that your father made to Soun Tendo before you were born. You know, the one to unite the schools of the Anything Goes? Well, you can forget about that. We did some checking and it seemed that your father and his friend were totally drunk when they made that vow and besides, the way we see it, Genma is only using it as a way to freeload and live a long and luxurious retirement, while living off your sweat. Did you know that he already engaged you off to more than two dozen girls, besides Ukyo Kuonji and Kaori Daijkoku?"

"WHAT?!" Pop had never mentioned that.

Agent C snorted. "Well, it looks like he neglected to tell you, didn't he? By our calculations, they should be arriving within the next six months or so. And if our calculations are correct (and they always are), Kodachi Kuno is going to wise up and offer your father either money or food (probably the latter), to be added to your list of official fiancées. And if that happens, her brother might also follow suit and try to get himself officially engaged to Akane and the 'pig-tailed' girl. With the right amount of food and money, Genma would say yes in heartbeat. How does that grab you?"

"WHAT?! ENGAGED TO KODACHI?! AND.... KUNO?! NO WAY! "Ranma began to get sick at the thoughts.

"Yes way. And that's not even the half of it. The way your life is going now, I'm surprised that you haven't lost it by now. If I had been you, I would have abandoned this life a long time ago. But then again, it's the only life you've known, isn't it? I mean, you've went on a ten-year training journey with no one but your father as role model. You've let Genma make all the decisions and was never given the chance to think for yourself or make your own choices. You just let him run and ruin your life, right up to this point. He's put you through bonehead training such as the Cat Fist, swimming to China, stealing, and of Jusenkyo. He's totally neglected your social education and has instilled in you that martial arts is the only thing that matters. And what has that gotten you? A totally abusive and violent fiancée who couldn't cook if her life depended on it and whose skills are limited to temper tantrums and prone to lashing out when things don't agree with her. Mostly, she usually vents on you. You've also got a very attractive, though over-affectionate Chinese Amazon after you. Shampoo wants you because you inadvertently defeated her in battle, and by her tribal laws, she has to marry you. Your old childhood friend Ukyo is also considered a fiancée since your father stole her dowry, her family's yattai. You've also got a slew of rivals and other suitors after you because they are either in love with one of these three girls, your female side, your male side or because of some slight to their honor. I can go on and on, but you get the idea, right?"

"H-H-How do you know so much about me?" Ranma stammered as he began to suspect that he was from the Yakuza.

Agent C shrugged again as he replied. "No, I'm not from the Yakuza, FBI, CIA, JDSF or any other organization that you have heard of. I'm from an organization that virtually no one in the general populace of Earth knows about. We are the rumors. We're the shadows. We're simply myths and legends. We are the MIB, the Men in Black."

"Men in Black?"

"That's right. We happen to be a kind of police force, but the criminals we protect the citizens from aren't your ordinary muggers, bank robbers or terrorists. We protect the Earth from the scum of the universe."

"Huh?"

"To put it short... we go after aliens. Oh, I haven't introduced myself, have I? I'm Agent C and you Ranma Saotome, are eligible not only to be a member of this organization, but also to have a whole new life to live. And judging by how your current life is going, I would imagine that you'd jump at the chance. So what do you say?"

Ranma was still speechless at what he was being told. "You mean... that thing I just destroyed... was an alien?"

Agent C nodded. "That's right Ranma. We need people with your talents and you beating that Soul Sucker proves that you're MIB material. Now let me sweeten the deal. If you choose to join the MIB, then I can guarantee that you'll never have to worry about your Jusenkyo curse ever again. Nor will you ever have to worry about your problems in Nerima again."

This caught Ranma's full attention. "You mean... you can cure me? You can solve all the fiancée messes and everything."

"Basically, you'd never have to worry about hot or cold water anymore. As for all those other problems... well you'd have to give up your whole identity as Ranma Saotome. Considering how much trouble is attached to the name, Ask yourself this. Is it really worth keeping? So how about it?"

Ranma thought long and hard on Agent C's offer. It sounded too good to be true. Just like all those other false cures and attempts to untangle the mess his life had been. Yet... there was something about this guy that told Ranma that he was telling the truth.

Some time later, at MIB HQ...

Ranma was a bit nervous as he laid down on a table in the science lab. Agent L was busy calibrating the device as Zed and C were explaining the procedure in which his curse would no longer be of any consequence.

"It's like this Ranma. Jusenkyo was actually on old alien experiment in biogenetic mutation that was abandoned eons ago, when Earth was still mucking about in its primordial soup." C explained.

"Jusenkyo was made by... aliens?" Ranma was still in a state of disbelief, despite all the aliens he had seen when C had begun giving him a tour of MIB's main headquarters in New York City. He still couldn't believe that they had traversed the globe in less than an hour, using the organization's secret undersea tunnel and hyper fast bullet train. It made the one at Hiroshima look like a slug.

"That's right." Zed affirmed. "About a few hundred centuries after the Earth had formed, a race known as the Zarcodians decided to do some evolution experiments on the lifeforms that were present at the time. It was located in the area that would become present day Jusenkyo. However, they had left a lot of waste runoff when they had completed their research and departed. The residual chemicals seeped into the soil and were inactive until a few hundred thousand years later. By that time, the chemicals that became contained within the springs that were formed became highly unstable with sudden temperature changes of water contact. The pools would also imprint themselves of whoever or whatever drowns in them. That's why hot water and cold water affects the way you change."

L nodded as she made the final arrangements with the matter-field inversor beam splitter. "This device will separate your body's cells from the chemicals that had bonded to your tissues."

"So... I'll be cured? I'm never going to be a girl again?"

"In a way. Since you've had this curse for over a year, much of the chemicals have permanently bonded to some of your cells and genetic makeup. We'll have to remove those cells as well. Don't worry though. We'll be able to stimulate your body to regenerate whatever cells are removed, so you won't be losing anything. Are you ready?"

Ranma nodded as he took a deep breath. After agreeing to join the MIB and abandoning his life in Nerima, the pigtailed boy began to wonder what this new life would be like. He would miss people like Ucchan and Kasumi, but after thinking long and hard about it, he had come to the conclusion that most of the chaos in his life would be solved if he was removed from the equation. This would be his chance to make a fresh start and without Genma constantly making things worse, Ranma would finally be able to be free to make his own choices and live out his own life.

It was then that L activated the machine and Ranma succumbed to the anesthetic.

An hour later...

Ranma awoke in a strange hospital bed and sat up. He saw that was now wearing a kind of hospital gown and looked to another bed that was adjacent to his, What he saw that was laying on it left him totally speechless.

Some more time later, in Zed's office...

"So the operation was a success?"

L nodded as she read the report. C was standing near the door and listening. "Yes. We were able to separate the cells that were permanently bonded to the Jusenkyo chemicals from the rest of Ranma. His body had been subjected to the cellular enrichment bath and had regenerated all of the missing areas with normal cells. As for the separated cells that contained the Jusenkyo chemicals, well they fused together as expected and they too had been subjected to the enrichment bath to form a separate entity. Now, since this new individual was patterned after the original Ranma's memories and personality, it will take some time for psychological therapy to help the second Ranma to accept its new identity and appearance."

"Have those two undergo basic MIB training as soon as they are able to."

L nodded as she and C left the office.

Several months later...

"Agents of the MIB." Zed announced as he stood at the podium of the conference hall. "It gives me great pleasure to introduce you to our two newest members. " He then gestured to two people standing behind him, both dressed in the standard MIB uniforms. One was male in a three-piece with pants, white shirt, business shoes and black tie. His black hair was tied back in a loose ponytail.

The second person was a female who was a head shorter than her counterpart. She was wearing a white blouse, black vest and matching skirt with black sandals. Her red hair was also tied back in a loose ponytail."

"Let me introduce you to Agent R and Agent Red."

Both the female and male Ranmas (the female was being referred to as Ranko for the moment ) waved to their new co-workers and said simultaneously, "We make these outfits look really good."

Another month later at the Tendo home.

Everyone was wondering why Ranma had called them all to gather at the dojo, after mysteriously disappearing for months. Akane was fuming mad and began thinking of violent acts to do to Ranma when he showed up. All that time they had spent worrying about him! The nerve of him of just showing up after disappearing without a trace for months. However, neither she, nor the others were prepared for the shock when Ranma and his female counterpart suddenly came in through the door, side-by-side. The reactions, were of course, predictable.

"What the...?"

"Ah! Pig-tailed girl! You have come to your one true love!"

"Airen! And... Airen?"

"What's going on?"

"Who is this hussy?"

"Son-in-law. Would you mind explaining...?"

"Sweeto!"

"Oh my!"

"Waaaaaahhhhh! Now the schools will be joined!"

"Ranma! You've got a lot of explaining to do!"

However, Ranma, or rather Agent R, wasn't in the explaining mood. He nodded to Agent Red as he put on his shades and pulled out a pencil-like device from his vest. Agent Red also put on her shades as she said goodbye for the both of them.

"Goodbye everyone. Ranma Saotome never existed."

The neuralizer flashed once as Ranma Saotome's life ended at the same time that Agent R and Agent Red's began.

A few minutes later, Agent Red and Agent R exited the Tendo home and walked toward their car, which was a sporty Japanese model that resembled an American LTD. As Red sat into the passenger seat while R took his position behind the steering wheel, she turned to her partner.

"So… are you going to miss them?"

The male half of the newest partnership in MIB shrugged. "I'll miss some of them… but, I'm not going to miss this life. As far as I'm concerned… Ranma Saotome is gone and Agent R is in control."

Agent Red nodded as they pulled out of the street and headed out of Nerima. When they got to an abandoned stretch of road, they received word from Zed that an alien was landing near Hiroshima. Agent R smiled as he reached over and pressed the red button on the console.

Instantly, the car began to transform as panels slid out to reveal a more muscular frame and twin thrusters mounted in the back. The car then rocketed forward toward its destination.

To be continued...?

Maybe...

Final Notes

Well, you can kind of think of this as a one-shot as Agent R and Agent Red begin their new life as MIB operatives. I suppose I COULD continue this, but I won't give it as much attention as my other projects. This was simply something to pass the time with as I was stuck with writer's block during the holidays. It was also inspired after watching eight episodes of MIB, the Animated Series