Self Insertion

This is a self insertion fic. It's pretty much me and my friend get into a Sliders type mix up. Cept we go to worlds like Animes and Cartoons and Movies and other stuff. Both of us are writing it as well so the Genre will fluctuate. Be warned, be afraid, be readin' my story please. And enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own nothin! Cept me!

* *: Thoughts

[ ]: Chinese

Capital letters: Shouting or loud noises

_ _: Stressed words

~ ~: Computer messages

{ }: Josh's own thoughts

( ): Evan's own thoughts and location

Chapter 5

The date

An overly obese man in a cape strutted through the arcade with an AK 47 strapped to his back. The words 'the COLLECTOR' written on his chest in neon pink letters. Customers of the arcade gawked at this travesty of justice! Fat people in spandex, wearing capes should not be allowed to strut!! No strutting for fat people, and the cape!! Oh god, don't even start with the cape. Anyway, the fat guy approached the door to Evan's office and drew his weapon. He politely knocked on the door then, when receiving no answer, slowly opened the door and squeezed inside.

Evan looked up at the intrusion to his office and frowned he was in the middle of learning a magic spell from a book he had stolen from Cologne. "HEY!" Evan said. "You can't carry around guns like that it's against the law!"

The fat guy screamed piggishly. "I AM ABOVE THE LAW!" His comb over fell over and he pulled out a tube of gel from his spandex covered rolls and smoothed his hair over.

"Oh, O.K. Then I guess I can do this." Evan waved his left hand and muttered some words, The fat man's gun turned into a tub of lard. "Enjoy."

"NO! What have you DONE!...NOO!" The fat man said. "NOO!" Evan looked at the fat man and laughed.

"You are FAT!"

The collector muttered some obsenaties and then ran towards Evan in a furious blood lust. Evan waved his hands through the air and then some water appeared out of nowhere and doused the fat man. The fat man all of a suden turned into a beautiful young woman with large breasts. {not that he didn't have those before}Evan smiled evilly and glared at the man. "Now my fat friend. Whenever you are splashed with cold water you will turn into a beautiful young woman and only hot water can turn you into your original tubby over obese insanely fat form."

The beautiful young womanwoman looked down at herself and noticed that her clothes were nineteen sizes to large for her. "I'm thin?" The girl then got a happy expression on her face. "I'M THIIIIIIIIINNNN" She then took off the baggy clothes and ran out the door.

Evan looked confused. "Woah Nutty Proffesser flash back."

**************

Back at the Tendo dojo. Josh fixed his blue tie. *Sexy man!!! If I were a chick... Wait I am, sometimes. Oh well I'm SEXY!!* He continued to think like this for quite a while as he fixed and re-fixed his blue tie. Josh then got a frustrated frown on his face as he undid and re-tied his tie for the fifteenth time. He looked at it and then grabbed his hair and screamed. "AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!"

Josh then ran out of his room and down the hall to Kasumi's room where she too was currently getting ready for their first date. Josh knocked on her door once and then opened it. "Kasumi! I can't get my tie on right! Could you help me?"

"Sure thing Josh, just a second Ok." She said as she fixed a wrinkle in her form fitting red dress.

Josh was stunned at the beauty before him, his jaw almost touching the ground. "Yeah... sure... just a sec..."

Kasumi turned to face Josh, "Is something wrong? You sound different." She said a little worried.

"No. Everything is great, just great." Josh said as a feeling of extreme pleasure ran rampant through his brain. Josh composed himself and handed her the Blue tie. She took it and brought it around the back of his neck she tied it quickly and perfectly.

Josh looked at himself in Kasumi's mirror and then mock glared at her. "You know...your making me look bad." Kasumi giggled and then pushed him out the door. Josh smiled then turned around to see Akane and Nabiki staring at him angrily. "What?" Josh asked the two suspicious sisters.

"I hope this date will go through without any problems or..."

"Pervertedness!" Akane finished for Nabiki.

Josh groaned and walked past them. "Please. Don't be so immature. I'm just taking her out on a date. The best damn date she'll probably ever go on too I might add. I've got a lot of nice stuff planned for this evening and I don't want a couple of jealous immature little sisters ruining our time together. Tht means that I don't want you to put any camras or anything in any of our stuff Nabiki! And no spying Akane!" I wouldn't do that to you and I'm sure that you'd want your eldest sister who has cared for you for nearly your entire lives to have at least one night out to herself."

With that Josh turned and entered his room to finish dressing.

************

Evan looked over to his rather large stack of finished arcane books. *Whoa! That's a lot of books! And they were all free.* Evan smiled evilly and picked up his old astro physics book. *I think I can get us out of here. And soon. I just need to combine pieces of magic and quantum technology. And I know what that means!!! FACTORY RAID!!!!*

Evan walked out the door of his arcade and stopped at Samurai death match 21. *But first. Some arcade goodness.* Evan noticed the scrawny boy from before approaching the machine, quarter in hand. Evan waited for the right moment. The boy slipped the quarter into the slot, and Evan struck the kid up top the head, knocking him unconsious.

"YOINK!!!!!!"

A half hour later, at the factory of quantum physics machinery. Evan, dressed in a black gi, approached the sleeping guard. *I must not be seen.* He thought to him self. He then produced a roll of duct tape and tore off a piece, then after carefully inspecting his surroundings and humming the James Bond tune, placed the piece of tape over the guards eyes. Evan then proceeded into the factory.

"YOINK!!!" He yelled as he ran from the factory a sack of stolen goods slung over his back. *They'll never catch me* He thought, just a second before he bumped into a burly guard. Evan was taken a back for a second. He then smirked and waved his hands through the air, producing a spray of Jusenkyo cursed water, dousing the guard and transforming him into a penguin. He then booted the animal into the nearby guard station, startling the tape blinded guard inside.

*********

Evan dropped the large sack of stolen machine parts on his desk at the arcade that he had purchased. He then began rooting through it for certain parts and pulled out some tools he began putting together a small handheld timer inspired by Sliders. He looked up some info on the Internet and found the exact same spell that had sent him and Josh to this world in the first place. It said something about planets and cycles then Evan began observing astrological charts and solar system rotations. He then infused the timer with magic and a small spell rewind system that would read the spell when the timer got to a certain point.

Evan held up his creation to the light and cackled maniacally "IT'S A MACHINE! IT'S A MACHIIIINE HA HA HA HA HA !!!" "HA!"

**********

Josh smiled as he walked down the street with Kasumi by his side. She had her arm looped through his and they were walking through the park. They were taking a long walk to work up an appetite. They had taken one of the bullet trains to Okinawa where they would dine, dance, and watch a movie. Josh had made sure that they were as far away from Nerima and the Tendo dojo as possible. Sides he had heard that Okinawa was a nice place to visit.

They were nearing an expensive Italian restaurant. They had been talking all the while through the walk. They walked up to the front door and a snooty waiter was looking at them snidely. "And you are?" He said to the pair of teenagers. Josh smiled at the man.

"Reservation for two. Under Tendo." The waiter looked at a list that he had right beside him and scrolled down the list. He stopped and then put on a friendly demeanor.

"Ah right this way sir." He then lead them inside the restaurant.

*************

(Later at about 9:00 in the morning)

Josh woke up with a headache. A BIG headache. He grabbed his head and grit his teeth trying in vain to hold off the pain for a moment. It was a throbbing pain that threatened to implode his head. Josh looked around the room but everything was blurry and he couldn't tell where he was. The only thing he could tell through his haze was that he was in a bed. He held his head with his left hand and moved to lean to the side on his right, but his eyes flared open and cleared up just a little bit as he realized that he was leaning on a body. An arm to be exact. Josh slowly turned his head toward the other person in bed and immediately sobered up when he saw who it was. "I am SOOOOOOO Dead!" Josh mused.

***************

"And now... My next creation." Evan said as he held three small metallic disks into the air over dramatically. Two of the three disks were about an inch in length where the other was an inch and a half, all were only a few centimeters in width. "Now I need a reliable doctor..." Evan contemplated this. "A mad one would be nice... But Tofu will just have to do." Evan then rushed off in the direction of the clinic.

**************

Josh Began to pace frantically, casting glances to the still sleeping person in the bed on the other side of the room. He held his chin in deep contemplation. Sweat poured off of the boys body and he was in only in his boxer shorts, which he didn't even have on when he woke up. He had spent the first ten minutes after waking up just looking for them.

"What the HELL am I gonna do!?" Josh said pulling at his hair as he dropped to his knees. He heard a moan and then he jumped behind a window curtain trying to desperately hide himself from the wrath of the woman.

Kasumi awoke with a moan. She smiled as the sun from the window shone on her face from outside. She turned her head to the left and then sat up noticing the absence of a person beside her. "Josh?" She asked looking around for said person. She got up off of the bed and let the bed sheet fall to the ground. That was the only thing covering her naked body and Josh who was still standing by the window hiding could slightly see the reflection. He desperately tried to not turn his head for a full frontal view but he was a weak minded man. This slight movement caused to be the boys downfall. For the girl heard this and began walking in his direction. Josh turned around and chanted a silent mantra to himself.

"Don't wanna die, Don't wanna die, Don't wanna die, Don't wanna die." The boy then froze stiff as a board when a pair of slender and soft arms wrapped around him and pulled another body up close to his back. Joshes eyes widened to the size of diner plates and he began looking for some sort of escape, ANY sort of escape but there was none. He was already caught in the belly of the beast.

"Where were you?" Kasumi asked, her warm breath tickling his back and giving him goose bumps all over, making him shiver slightly. "I almost thought that you had run off."

Josh shook his head and just pointed out the window. "I was just taking in the view."

Kasumi giggled a little and began to run her hands slowly down his chest towards his boxers. "That's what you said last night." Josh grabbed her hands and pulled them away, spinning around to look her right in the eyes.

*What the Hell's going on?* Josh thought. *Kasumi's was never this forward in the manga. And how did I end up in a motel in the first place?* he looked down at the girl in front of him and sighed. "Kasumi, about last night..."

Kasumi put a finger up to his mouth and said. "Yes I wanted to talk about that."

"I'm s..."

"Josh." She said cutting him off. "I had the most wonderful time last night, I wouldn't change it for the world. I've never felt to free and wonderful. Ever since my mother died all I ever did was take care of my family. Nothing else." She grabbed hold of josh's hands and gazed into his eyes intently. "This was the most wonderful thing I've ever felt and I feel...Whole. Complete, and somehow more happy than I've ever been."

Josh looked shocked. *Is that POSSIBLE?!* Josh was completely speechless he didn't know what to say.

"I guess it must be...Love." Kasumi said.

Josh felt his knees turn to jelly and just wanted to fall down on the floor and faint. "Will you marry me?" He asked before he could even stop himself. The shock of what he just said didn't hit him until about thirty seconds after he had said it.

"Yes." Was the girls answer. This was too much for Josh's migraine infested head to handle and he fell to the ground unconscious.

*************

"I guess I'll do it." Tofu said, "Considering the exorbant amount of money you are offering. I mean 150000 yen, That's quite a bit for a small surgical procedure."

"Yeah I guess it is a bit much, but I do want it done right so the extra yen just seals the deal." Evan said as he handed the doctor a large wad of bills. "I want to be unconscious for the operation."

Tofu nodded and lead the black haired boy to the operating room. "Take this mask, and explain the procedure again."

"Ok, I want these two disks," He said handing Tofu the one inch disks. "Inserted into the palms of my hands. Under the skin. Then this disk," Evan said as he handed the final one and a half inch disk to the doctor. "This one goes under the skin, on the back of my head, right here see." He said pointing to a softer part of the skull just before the neck. "Now I've marked the exact spot where the incisions should be." He said pointing to the red dot on the back of his head.

Tofu nodded "Got you. Now put on the mask and I'll put you under." Evan did this and blackness consumed him.

*********

Thirty minutes later Evan woke up. *Time for a test.* Evan ran out side and tapped his palms together gently.

A spark of electricity formed between his hands. Evan spun his hands around each other and the electricity grew tremendously, a small beep went off in his head. *Level one* He thought.

He waved his arms around his body and instantly his body was ionized and electricity danced across his torso and arms. He began spinning his arms again, but slower this time, another beep went off followed by a slightly louder beep. *Level Two*

Evan's body began to glow with electricity and the small bolts grew to much larger ones, Evan remained spinning his arms in intricate circles around each other. Another beep went off followed by two louder beeps and a long buzzing. *Level Three, time to let loose.* Evan spun on his heel, stretched his left arm toward a building and spread his fingers apart. This action was rewarded with five large bolts of electricity that arched towards the building leaving a gaping hole in the wall that revealed some very surprised elderly people. Evan nodded to the people and barely held in his joy. "It worked..." He said in awe at his invention. "The ionizer works." He skipped off down the street screaming, "THE IONIZER WORKS!!!!"

********

Josh awoke with another killer headache. This time it was because his head hit the floor. When he went unconscious. The first thing he saw was Kasumi sitting close by with a wet cloth. Josh grabbed her hand and held it to his chest giving a sigh of relief. "I just had the strangest dream." Josh then opened his eyes and looked around, noticing he was still in a motel of some sort. He noticed the single bed on the far side and that he was in nothing but his boxers. "Josh groaned and then reluctantly said. "Let me guess. We had sex and then I proposed to you?" Kasumi nodded.

"Yes."

"And you said yes didn't you?" Josh asked again.

Kasumi just nodded this time. Josh sat up and held his head. "I guess we better get back to the dojo, everyone will be worried about us I guess. I mean we are over a day late." Josh said with a little bit of a chuckle.

Kasumi nodded and josh went over to the side of the bed where he noticed his clothes sitting, and put them on, or at least what was left of them. Josh looked down at the clothes he was wearing and then looking up at Kasumi in confusion. "Did I get into a big fight or something?" He asked.

Kasumi covered her blushing cheeks with her hands and looked to the floor. "I guess you could call it that."

*****************

(Somewhere else)

Evan was brooding on the Tendo Arcade roof top. *All super heros brood on roof tops, so why not join the crowd?* He thought as he crouched down to sit down on the ledge of the roof, *Brooding is boring, I could go into a Tick speech... But nobody is here to be confused... I'll just roof hop till I find bad guys... Wait, I don't have the leg muscles to roof hop, well I guess I'll just walk around till some one does something bad.* Evan then hopped off the ledge and onto the roof. He then made his way to the stairs and into the arcade. He noticed the small child who he continually beat up before his 'transformation'. He crept up behind the kid and screamed, "GET OUT!!!!! ARCADE IS CLOSED YA BUNCH OF PUNKS!!!!!!"

*Time to right wrongs and wrong rights or something.* Evan marched out the door, after a few seconds he burst back into the arcade. "I don't have a costume!! What can I do... Buy one... Nah I'm to cheap... I'll just threaten some tailor to make me one, and if he doesn't then I'll... I'll... I'll probably end up paying him." Evan rushed into his office, grabbed a large bundle of money, then rushed out the door of the arcade towards a tailor shop.

***************

Josh smiled weakly as he and Kasumi entered the Tendo household arm in arm. *How in the name of GOD am I gonna explain any of this!?!* Josh mused silently to himself in his head. He and Kasumi rounded a corner and came upon all of the Tendo family just standing there looking at him. He moved over a little and hid slightly behind Kasumi. Akane glared at Josh with hateful eyes. "Where the HELL where you? How come your so late!?" Akane demanded of the boy. Josh shrugged.

"Uhhhh It's a....long... walk?" he said unsurely. Hoping desperately that he could keep this a secret from Soun as long as possible, knowing that he'd be overjoyed at the prospect of one of his daughters getting married. Josh would surely get rushed into marrying.

""He proposed to me and we're getting married!" Kasumi said with a huge smile on her face as she latched onto Joshes arm. Josh could almost feel Akane's mallet impacting with his poor head already.

"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone in the house said in utter shock. Instead about being insane with fury, Akane was just angry and decided to voice her opinions. "Kasumi! What about Tofu!?" The short haired girl asked. "I thought you LOVED him!" Kasumi frowned.

"What about that jerk!" Kasumi growled at the floor. Everyone did a double take.

"Oh my god the world truly is ending." Nabiki mused to herself. Tears welled up in Souns eyes and he rushed toward the pair arms outstretched. The older man grabbed them both in a bone crushing hug/

"OH I'M SOO HAPPYYY!" He said with tears streaming from his eyes in literal buckets. He held them out at arms length and smiled widely. "We'll have the wedding immediately!" Josh did a double take.

"NUH UH! I ain't getting married to no one in such short notice! Give us at least a week! I'm still getting over the shock that I proposed to her in the first place!" Josh yelled in his defence.

Soun smiled. "Fine, a week it is." He gave josh and Kasumi one last hug and then rushed of to call all of his relatives and friends. Kasumi smiled and then began walking towards the stairs. "I'll go make our bed." She said looking back at Josh for a moment before happily skipping up the stairs. Josh dropped to his knees and stared blankly at nothing in particular.

"Why me?" He asked to no one in particular.

Josh then noticed that Nabiki and Akane were glaring daggers at him, actually it was more like they were glaring Nuclear weapons at him. "You got some heavy explaining to do." Nabiki noted to the short haired aquatransexual.

Josh whimpered and slumped down to the ground. "Somebody help me."

***************

Evan entered a random tailor shop and strutted up to the counter, "One Super hero costume please, it must look exactly like the old Electro costume from Spider-man." This comment got a strange stare before the clerk nodded and asked.

"Will you be paying in cash?"

"Um... yeah sure. Cash. How much exactly?"

"500 yen for pre made, or 1000 for custom fitting." Evan handed the clerk 500 yen.

"I guess pre made. Cause I've only got 500 yen here. My size is 37 I think."

"I'll measure to be sure." The clerk said with a gleam in his eye.

"Um... Ok, but no groping!" Evan said as he noticed the gleam, and the man's similarity to Happosai in looks.

The clerk nodded, he began to measure Evan and soon finished. "You are a 35. Guess you lost some pounds." He said in a slightly stereotypical gay voice.

"Um.. Yeah... Can I have my costume now?" Evan asked nervously.

The clerk nodded and disappeared into the storage room. Evan twiddled his thumbs and realized he was creating a small electric charge between his thumbs, "Crap!" He fired off the charge at the floor, which was metallic. He heard a slight yelp of pain in the storage room. "Oops. Hehehe." The clerk appeared a short moment after with a Electro costume in size 35.

"Here you are sir." He said as he rubbed his knee joints in pain. "One Electro costume. Enjoy."

"I will thank you very much!" Evan then looked at the costume. "Hold up!! This costume is PINK!!!"

"Uh, yes it is. Is there a problem?"

"Damn STRAIGHT there is a problem!"

"OOHH!!! Don't use the 'S' Word!!! I'll fix your little problem."

"Yes, you do that STRAIGHT away." Evan said, over emphasizing 'straight'.

The clerk covered his ears and hummed loudly as he rushed into the storage room to get the right coloured costume. Evan began charging another spark, which he fired into the floor. This rewarded him with another yelp of pain. Evan snickered evilly.

The Clerk returned with the correct costume and was again rubbing his knee joints in pain. "You fall?" Evan asked with a tinge of laughter in his voice.

"Um, yes I did." The clerk said as he handed him the costume, "Much better." Evan noted as he began towards the changing room. When he entered he could see a video camera in the corner. Normally people would be completely oblivious and wouldn't have noticed it. Evan just zapped it and fried all of it's circuits. Along with blowing up all the lights in the establishment.

"Whoops." He said noting the pitch blackness of it all. He decided to make an escape. And ran out of the store with nothing but his super hero costume.

***********

Nabiki and Akane glared at the blonde haired boy that sat across from them at the table. "So what exactly went on last night that made you propose to my sister?" Nabiki asked calmly but with an icy glare that could freeze fire. Josh whimpered and slumped his shoulders.

"Well I got drunk."

"So you asked her to marry you just because you were drunk!?" Akane asked angrily getting ready to pull out her mallet.

Josh shook his hands from side to side trying to defuse the situation. "WAIT, WAIT! I wasn't drunk when I asked. I just woke up and then..."

"And then?" Nabiki and Akane asked simultaneously leaning forward with similar glares on their faces.

Josh stopped himself and then jumped up and tried to run up the stairs as fast as possible so that he could get away from the girls. "GET HIM!" cried Nabiki as she pointed to the retreating person. Akane jumped up from her seat and ran after him.

"GET BACK HERE YOU PERVERT! YOU DEFILED MY SISTER!!"

Josh didn't dare look back he just kept running. There was only one place in this world that was safe for him to go. He ran up the stairs and burst into Kasumi's room who was busy setting up a two person bed. Josh ran behind her and held her in front of him in between him and the enraged girls that soon followed.

"HELP ME KASUMI!" Josh said as he trembled behind her.

"What's going on?" Kasumi asked in confusion.

"We just want to know WHAT exactly went on last night that would make him propose!" Yelled Akane.

"Oh is that all?" Kasumi asked with a smile. "First we had dinner and we went to a movie, and had a walk then we went to a hotel, checked out a two person room with one bed and had sex." Joshes eyes flared open in confusion and shock. He stood up spun Kasumi around and held onto her shoulders and looked her in the eyes intently.

"HOW COULD YOU JUST BLURT THAT STUFF OUT SO CALMLY!?!"

"They asked. I told." Kasumi said with a small smile. Josh finally couldn't take it and flopped down on the bed and sighed.

"How did my life get turned so upside down!" He groaned. Kasumi sat down beside him and he sat up. She put a comforting arm around him.

"Do you not want to marry me?" She asked. Josh sighed.

"I do."

"Then what is the problem?" Kasumi asked. "You want to marry me and I want to marry you so why don't we just get married."

"You want to marry me?" Josh asked confused.

"I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't." Josh suddenly felt surprisingly comforted and then they leaned forward and kissed each other. Akane who was still standing in the doorway. Suddenly had a massive Ki eruption at the sight. And screamed in utter Primal Rage.

"PEEEEERRRRVVEEEEEEEEEERRRRRTTTTTT!!!!"

Josh, Suddenly remembering why he was running away broke the passionate embrace with his fiancé and jumped out the window into the yard below. "SEE YAH!" he called as he began running away as fast as a black belt martial artist of several styles could go.

"II"LLLL KILL YOU!!" Screamed Akane as she gave chase.

**************

Evan walked back to the arcade, electrocuting people as he went. Everywhere people's hair stood on end and their nerves were shot. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!" The man in the Electro costume laughed manically as he zapped some more pedestrians, shorted out a stop sign and blew up a car. *Wait! I'm the good guy!!! Cops should be here any minute to cart me away... Well I won't let them.* Evan smiled evilly as he began to power up the twin ionizers in his hands. He quickly reached level three and found that if he slowly approached level four he could progress to level five smoothly and without fear of shorting out the circuitry. Sure enough the police came just as he reached level five. The police were shocked, both literally and mentally, at the massive bolts of electricity surrounding the teen.

"CODE RED!!! I REPEAT!!! CODE RED!!! ALL EMERGENCY FORCES TO BE REDIRECTED TO THE MAIN STREET TO DEAL WITH A HYPER POWERED INDIVIDUAL!!!" The chief of police screamed into his intercom and minutes later, as Evan approached level six, backup came. "CEASE AND DESIST YOUR CURRENT ACTIONS... Um what is this guy's name?" The chief asked nervously.

"We don't know sir." one of the officers replied as he aimed his rifle at the youth. "Great! A no name case! Fire at will is my order, I'm going home."

Bullets flew at Evan, but none seemed to hit, as each was molecularly shredded in mid-air by the high electricity ions.

"YOU CANNOT HURT ME!!!!" Evan screamed at the gathered law enforcers. "YOUR BULLETS CANNOT REACH MEE!" All of a sudden Evan was knocked off of his feet and all the energy that he was holding on to shot of in random directions. All the police fell to the ground and the energy shot by them either blowing up their cars or blowing up random street signs and buildings.

Evan looked around to whoever could have done that while he was progressing to level seven. He saw Josh standing there and growled while pointing at him angrily. "YOU!"

Josh smiled and looked at his hands in amazement. "Hey, I just learned how to fire off Ki blasts. COOL! Wait'll I show Kasumi." Evan charged forward in a rage and charged up to level two on the way. Josh stepped out of the way and then kicked him in the ass sending him flying. He then shot out another Ki blast at the villain who turned around just in time to send of a Third level electric attack to cancel it out. They stood up and faced off against each other.

"Who are you?" Josh asked. The strange dressed man. "You look like a cheap ripoff of Electro."

Evan growled. "EXACTLY THAT'S THE POINT!" Josh blinked as he recognized the slightly hysterical voice.

"Evan?" He asked in confusion. "Where did you learn to shoot off electricity? You look like a reject for the fifth Pokemon movie."

Evan laughed. "Heh. Pokemon. That's funny!" Josh walked up to Evan laughing and then kneed him in the groin when he got all of his trust up. "That's not funny." Evan said in a high pitched squeaky voice. Josh then punched him in the back of the head and rendered him unconscious.

"Friggin idiot." he muttered under his breath as he hefted the body over his shoulder. He waved to all of the police who were only now getting up. "I got it from here. He's as good as harmless!" He called out. All the cops then pulled their guns out on him.

"DROP ELECTRODE!" The chief of police yelled. Josh shrugged and dropped the unconscious body on the ground. He then picked him up again and ran away.

************

Evan awoke with a headache. He looked around to see several people. They were all blurry but they soon came into focus and he could recognize who they were. Ranma, Kasumi, Nabiki, Akane, and Josh were all looking over him with concerned looks on their faces.

"You were concerned about me?" Asked Evan in wonder.

Josh shook his head. "Nope. We just dumped you on the ground and decided to play a game of Monopoly."

"I was out that long?" Evan said, holding his head as a wave of nausea washed over him. Josh nodded.

"Yeah and I won too." Nabiki frowned at this.

"You cheated."

Kasumi frowned at her middle sister's reaction. "Nabiki it's not nice to make false accusations. Besides I saw you cheating."

Evan rolled his eyes. "Figures. Hey where are my clothes?"

"You're wearing them. Idiot" Akane said with an angry glare.

"Evan looked confused. "This is new."

Josh looked over at the corner where Evan's Electro costume lay. Evan followed joshes gaze and then jumped up and ran for the costume. Josh jumped up and kicked him into a wall. They were in the dojo so it didn't really matter.

"Oh no you don't!" Josh growled. "I don't want you throwing around lightning bolts again. Especially around here!" Evan stood up and then rubbed his palms together electricity gathered in his palms and then he thrust them out and the energy hurled towards Josh. The blonde haired aquatransexual hadn't expected this and got his full force, his hair stood on end and he fell to the floor. Evan laughed maniacally, picked up his costume and ran out the door. Before leaving he yelled out.

"I DON'T NEED A COSTUME TO DO THAT SUCKER!!"

The three Tendo sisters and Ranma looked down at the now unconscious Josh Kasumi smiled and then said. "Who's up for scrabble?" Everyone shrugged and then Ranma ran into the house to get said board game.

************

Evan rushed down town, wary of any officers of the law. He slowed his pace to recap what had just occurred. "I just zapped my only friend in this universe! I didn't accomplish what I wanted to do and help people. I didn't tell Josh that we are leaving in a little under a week and I got power hungry because of this damn costume!!" Evan tossed the costume in a nearby garbage can. "And I didn't tell the Tendos about their new arcade and instead came off as a villain!" Evan hung his head in shame. He continued to walk and soon passed Genma and Soun who were just leaving a local bar completely, entirely, utterly PASTED.

The two men staggered into an alley and soon passed out. Evan reminisced about his drinking days and stayed to guard the two from the pant thief that had so plagued him in days gone by. But Evan had kicked that habit, yes he tossed that habit like the sake bottle he had just finished. Sure enough a man approached. He had squinty eyes and an outfit made entirely of pants.

*This must be my man* Evan thought as the relaxing effects of the alcohol flowed through him. *Time for my revenge!*

Evan smirked as he charged at the pant thief, with a level three charge ready. But the thief also seemed to be ready as he swiftly turned a harmless pair of pants into a snare that made Evan fire of his blast inaccurately, destroying some public property.

"You have pilfered your last, pant thief!!" Evan declared dramatically as he forced a bolt of electricity to strike behind him for extra drama.

"Oh, you must be the Electrode! You will make a worthy adversary!" The thief stated, "I am... PANT MAN!!!!"

Evan broke down laughing. "Pant..." He broke up laughing again, "MAN!!!!! That is the funniest name I ever heard!!!" the electrical boy rolled on his back hysterically laughing at the stupidity of the thief's name.

"At least I'm not named after a pokeman!!" Pantman countered.

Evan instantly snapped to a evan-sennin battle pose which involved some very complex balencing, "Leave Pikachu out of this! I just want to know one thing." Pant man shrugged.

"Okay ask away."

"How come if your hobby includes stealing only pants, where do the boxers go, and how come I always wake up all tingly and funny feeling?"

Pant man sweated heavily. "Never mind that Electrode! PREPARE YOURSELF! PANTALOON TYPHOON!"

Pant man thrust his arms towards Evan, pants erupted from all over the thief's body, the majority was blue jeans. The pants moved as if they had a life of their own, spiralling towards Evan and kicking up dust. Evan shrugged off this display of stupidity and began charging for the kill however the tornado of pants reached him and one of the pants brushed across his arm and sliced through it. Evan held the wound on his arm and realized.

"These pants are razor sharp!" Evan quickly charged up his ionizers and shot a level two blast at Pantman. The electric attack shot through all of the pants in a chain reaction and struck pant man. Who screamed and fell to his knees in pain.

"Heh, don't like electricity do you? Well I've got lot's to share so I'll give you a second dose!" Evan yelled out, trying to keep conscious after the blood began to spill out of his arm and trickle to the concrete. He shot off another bolt of electricity at pant man who got up and dodged it this time.

"HA HA HA! You can't defeat me! BELLBOTTOM BLAST!!!!" He yelled pulling a pair of bellbottoms out of his clothed and held it over his shoulder. The bellbottoms became as stiff as a board, he then pulled a trigger on one of the pant legs and then two rockets shot out and flew towards Evan. Evan sweated feeling the effects of the blood loss he closed his eyes and awaited the end.

****************

Back at the dojo everyone was looking glum except Josh who had won every single board game that they pulled out of the house. Even the ones he didn't know how to play. Nabiki looked the worse for wear. She had bags under her eyes and her hair was matted and looked as if she had tried to pull it out in frustration. "I win." Josh said once again for the umpteenth time that night. Nabiki growled frustrated and grabbed her hair and started pulling at it in fury.

She set up another board game in record time and glared at Josh with unrivaled hate. "AGAIN! PLAY ME AGAIN!" Josh looked a little nervous.

"Maybe we should stop. You don't look so good Nabiki."

"I WON'T STOP TILL I'VE EXPOSED YOU CHEATER!!" Nabiki screamed at Josh. Akane, though she disliked Josh could definitely see that if Nabiki didn't stop she would have some sort of nervous breakdown. She leaned over to Josh and whispered in his ear.

"Can't you just lose on purpose and get it over with?" Josh shrugged and looked a little scared.

"Don't you think I've already tried that?!" He said in frustration. "I just can't lose for some reason!" Aken frowned and tried to devise some sort of plan to get Nabiki to win. She remembered back to her and Ranma's father's Shogi games. When nobody was looking she took about fourteen of Joshes pieces and ate them. It was hard to swallow but this was for her sister's sanity. Thirty minutes later Nabiki shot to her feet and thrust her hands in the air.

"YEEEESSS I DID IT!!! I BEAT HIM!!! HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!"

Everyone cringed and inched away slowly from Nabiki.

***************

The next morning Evan awoke in an alley, pantless. *Deja vu. I didn't get drunk did I?* He pushed up with his arm and cried out in pain. " OOOOHHHHH THAT HURTS!!!!!" He stopped his whining when he heard a pair of simulations moans a bit further down the alleyway. *Who the heck is down there!?! And how did I...* Evan cringed "Pant man." He said menacingly, his eyes darkened with hatred as he said this and then rolled to his feet to investigate the moans. *Genma and Soun? What are they doing here?* Evan then had a painful flashback of his losing battle with Pant man and how he was watching over the drunk pair. *I got my butt kicked, and my arm was sliced open by his damn Pantaloon majigger attack.* Evan liked the feeling of waking up in an alley pantless and without a hangover. It was better than with one.

Evan grabbed Genma and Soun and helped them to their feet, then they began walking towards the Tendo Dojo. Screams ensued in the early morning.

When they got back to the Tendo dojo they weren't met by anyone. There appeared to be nobody home. Evan took Genma and Soun around the house trying to find one of the others. He heard somebody scream out in the dojo and figured that Josh must be practicing. He took the two half drunk men over to the dojo and opened the door. Nabiki was standing up with a triumphant and drunk look on her face, Akane was lying on the floor and looking sick, Josh looked tired and extremely bored. Kasumi looked tired and was cuddling up with josh. Everyone looked over at the open door and at Evan. Kasumi ignored it. She was used to him coming home drunk and pantless. Ranma was asleep, Akane was too sick to care, Nabiki too proud, and Josh too tired. Evan dumped Genma and Soun on the ground and then everyone, but Akane, took notice that their fathers were drunk and pantless. Evan was panting a little.

"Josh! I found out why I keep losing my pants when I get drunk. There's this guy Pant Man and he steals drunk people's pants then he uses these special attaxck that incorporate pants. He's a villain and MUST BE STOPPED!!" Josh shrugged and then got up off the floor of the Dojo, Kasumi followed.

"I'm going to bed." Josh said and walked past Evan and over the two drunk men. Kasumi nodded with a yawn and followed him. Evan scratched his head a little confused. Nabiki came over to Evan and kissed him full on the lips.

"I BEAT HIM!!" She said triumphantly again and then skipped of into the house to pass out. Akane crawled over the bodies with a pale green looking skin hue.

"Pep...to...bismol!" She said breathlessly. Ranma just slept on the floor of the dojo. Evan looked around really confused.

"Compared to this I guess I had a good day." Evan mused then skipped into the house singing the Hamster dance song. Since Ranma and josh weren't sleeping in the guest room Evan went up there and decided to use it himself.

**************

The next week Evan was standing in an alley looking around. It was the same alley that he had battled with Pant man the last week, he was ready this time. He had constructed a costume out of stolen Kevlar, and it was similar to a mix between the X-Men movie costume and blade. All of a sudden a figure appeared at the other end of the alley.

"We meet again." Said the diminutive figure who walked up halfway up the alley. Evan nodded

"I have come prepared Pant man. You will not beat me." Evan said. In a voice that was similar to Sean Connery's.

Pant Man growled and thrust his arms out. "Oh you think so eh? PANTALOON TYPHOON!" Evan jumped out of they way of the Pant attack and charged up a level four ionizer bolt. He thrust both hands out and zapped the attack causing a chain reaction and electrocuting Pant Man. Pant man stumbled and nearly fell to his knees. Evan began to stalk forward with a charged up ionizer bolt but Pant man all of a sudden shot up and pulled out a new pair of pants.

"KHAKI CRUSHER!" Pant man screamed. He pulled out a pair of beige Khaki's and swung them at evan they where weighted down heavily and acted as a giant mace. Evan jumped out of the way and it smashed into the ground causing a tremor and a crater where it hit. Pan Man swung it around again but evan ducked and it passed over him smashing a wall to nothing but rubble. Evan jumped forward and punched Pant man about four times with Ionized fists.

"ULTRA SUPER MIRACLE SATAN ELECTRIC MEGADEATH PUNCH!!" Pant man stumbled back and was severely burned in the chest area where Evan had hit him. "Hah!"

Pant Man pulled out two new pairs of pants and wrapped them around each other. He put a clip on them and then the four pant legs began spinning around like a minigun, and began spraying bullets around the alley. "JEAN MACHINE GUUN!!!" Pant Man screamed.

Evan screamed as well. "AAAAAAAAAH!!" He began running around the alley in fear of being shot to death. He managed to dodge most of them but a single bullet got lodged in his Right butt cheek. It was one of the only non kevlar covered parts of his body and it lodged in there pretty deep. "Evan began jumping around in pair while his Ass bled.

*Uh Oh. I better finish this before I pass out from blood loss again.* Evan thought. Evan powered up a Ionizer bolt but didn't let it go at level three or four like usual. He just held it and charged it up. Pant man decided that it would be the perfect time for an attack. "BOXER SHORTS BOOMERANG!!!" Pant man began to throw boxer shorts at Evan the undergarments began spinning and got razor sharp at the edges. Evan dodged them on the way to him and on the way back and as Pant Man caught the spinning projectiles Evan proceeded onto level nine. "TIGHTY WHITEY TWISTER!!" Pant man threw a twist of Tight White underwear at Evan who dodged and pulled his arms back just as it reached level fifteen. Evan thrust his hands towards the Evil pant thief and lt loose a blast Pant Man screamed as he saw the energy blast come towards him. The explosion that ensued took the two nearest building with him. Evan collapsed on the ground as he passed out from blood loss again.

"I...I did it. He'll never steal pants again."

THUMP!

***************

Meanwhile at the Tendo Dojo. Josh sweated horribly, he was shaking sporadically and found it hard to stand on his own two feet. At the Moment Soun Tendo was helping him straighten out his Tuxedo, because he was about to get married to his eldest daughter Kasumi. "What have I gotten myself into?" Muttered Josh to himself. For the last week he and Kasumi had been sleeping in the same bed. Josh knew that she was pregnant, she was getting sick every morning and Josh had seen enough T.V. and read enough books to know that she was in the first stage of pregnancy.

"Now you see why I don't want to be forced into marriage so fast." Ranma told Josh. Ranma was sitting on the other side of the room watching, he was also wearing a suit and almost looking as nervous as josh. Josh shrugged.

"I'm not being forced. I want to do this. I'm just nervous." Josh paused for a second. "Why are you so nervous?" Ranma looked up at Josh as if he hadn't heard him.

"What? Oh, well my mom is coming over for the wedding..."

Josh nodded in understanding. "I see. Your still afraid she'll take that sepuku pledge this seriously right?" Ranma nodded. Josh smiled feeling his conversation with Ranma made him less nervous. "Trust me Ranma, no mom in her right mind would make her husband and son commit ritual suicide just because her sons not manly enough. I know her pretty well and I know that she wouldn't go through with it. Hell, she thinks your female side is too manly."

Ranma smiled a little. "You think she wouldn't mind the curse?" He asked with hope.

Josh nodded. "It's not your fault that you fell into a magic spring with no cure." Ranma nodded and then the impact of Joshes words sunk into his thick head.

"NO CURE!?" Ranma yelled.

Soun finished up with Joshes tie and then Josh walked over to the mirror in the room and checked himself out. "Why is it you wanted to have a Western style any way Pop?" Josh asked as he made sure that everything was in place. Soun smiled and got tears in his eyes.

"He called me Pop! I'm so happy!" Josh shrugged and continued studying himself.

"Will Happosai be coming to the ceremony?" Josh asked. Soun all of a sudden got serious and nodded.

"Unfortunately so."

Josh smiled widely. Now that he had gotten over the cold feet and the shock that he was getting married to a girl that only a year or so ago he had thought of was nothing but a cartoon character, he was actually happy. Kasumi was a great girl and he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life making a family with her. He really didn't care about finding his way back to his original dimension. It just didn't seem to be important anymore. Soun, Ranma, and Josh all walked out of the room to meet up with Nabiki who was just outside. She looked much better than the previous week and was dressed in a nice blue dress with lots of flowery patterns on it. These were the official bridesmaid dresses and both she and Akane were to be wearing them.

"My you look quite ravishing Nabiki, or should I call you sister in law." Josh said as he took her hand in his and kissed the back of it. Nabiki frowned

"Flattery will get you nowhere Josh." she said with an upturned nose as she took her hand away from him. Josh just chuckled.

"Heh, heh. I'm not trying to get anywhere. I'm getting married today." Nabiki frowned. She didn't fully trust Josh. She barely knew him and Kasumi had only gone on one date with him before he asked to marry her. She was still surprised that Kasumi said yes. Kasumi always said she liked older men like Tofu. Josh was almost two years younger. Though he looked a lot older.

The four people walked out into the dojo, which was filled with family members and friends. A few of Kasumi's friends from high school where there and were already sobbing tears of happiness for their friend. Josh was surprised at some of the faces there. Even Ryoga had managed to make it there. He saw Kuno and his sister Kodachi sitting by the back and Nodoka, Genma, Happosai and a few other people from the Ranma cast were there as well. Josh smiled as Soun led him down the aisle towards the alter that was set up at the front of the dojo.

Josh smiled at Ukyo and Shampoo as he walked by where they were sitting. They were the only other people he really knew there at all other than the usual cast. Josh made it to the alter and Soun stepped off to the side. The doors to the dojo opened up and Kasumi walked through in a wedding dress. She carried herself with a calm and collected stature, she looked like a fairytale princess right out of the books. Josh had never seen anyone look as beautiful as she did right now. His jaw nearly dropped at the sight. He never broke eye contact with her the entire time she walked up to the alter. Nabiki and Akane held up the train, walking with their sister in unison to the music.

Kasumi stepped up to the alter and gazed into Joshes eyes lovingly. Right then he could tell that this was the moment she had been looking forward to her entire life.

**************

End chapter. {Well that's the end of the fifth chapter of Self Insertion. We've got a surprise for you next time. Ah I'm getting married to Kasumi. Who saw that one coming.(WE!) Other than Evan. What can I say I'm a real smooth talker. The ladies man. I kinda skipped ahead in the chapter at parts but hey you're alright with that right? Meh. The next chapter will be more comical and a little more dramatic. As well we'll meet up with some new characters and meet some new enemies. As well the conclusion of my wedding and Evan's fight with Pant Man. KICK ASS! Oh and Kasumi's pregnant with my kid. What really sucks is that it was my first time and I was too pasted with alcohol that I couldn't remember. What a rip off! Well I'll see you next time. Chow!}

Morden Night: anime_morden@crystal-tokyo.com

http://josh_vh.tripod.com/mordensranmapage/

(Yep, I'm super Evan now. Ain't it great! Yeah, so I kicked Pant man's ass! Unless he can somehow survive a level fifteen or so electrical blast. Hehe, steal my pants will you. Yeah so I'm just chilling and zapping stuff, nothing much. Oh yeah and, um, PLOT TWIST! I'll let you find out what I mean next chapter, hehehe. It'll be cool. I promise. Well Bye!)

Agasaki Ishano: agasaki@crystal-tokyo.com

http://evan_m0.tripod.com

No www. Dammit!