Self Insertion

This is a self insertion fic. It's pretty much me and my friend get into a Sliders type mix up. Cept we go to worlds like Animes and Cartoons and Movies and other stuff. Both of us are writing it as well so the Genre will fluctuate. Be warned, be afraid, be readin' my story please. And enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own nothin! Cept me!

* *: Thoughts

Capital letters: Shouting or loud noises

< >: Japanese

_ _: Stressed words

{ }: Josh's own thoughts

( ): Evan's own thoughts and location

Chapter 10

A Friend And An Accomplice

Evan swung through the city, wearing the guise of Judy Judy/Spider Girl. He decided that this form was utterly disgusting and decided that he should become a strange version of Spider man, one that was crossed with a pig. He landed on the street and was instantly surrounded by press screaming at him with comments like. "Are you one of the new Spider Men that have been appearing around the city?" and "Do you know Judge Judy?" Evan snorted and turned took off his costume and became very much like P-chan. He squeeled and ran between the presses legs and called out, "I AM PETER PORKER!!!! LEAVE SPIDER PIG ALONE!!!" The press stopped in their tracks and would have facefaulted if it was possible in this universe.

"Did the pig just talk?" Was the question that rambled through all of their minds.

In the distance Evan morphed into his favorite hero of all time, and in no time The Blue justice that was the Tick was gracefully smashing across rooftops in an attempt to find Josh.

******************

Josh passed by a radio shack on the way to the Police station and noticed that there was a picture of the Tick on the T.V. It was live action and josh just walked by it. "I didn't know that they had that show in this universe." Josh walked down the street and noticed the Police station coming up. She ducked into a nearby alley and changed into Spider Girl. She then continued walking towards the police station. She entered and walked up to the police chief. Who was in his office.

"Where do I go for my training sir?" Josh asked the old man. The man looked at Josh and looked confused.

"I thought you were a man." the police chief said as he set down his pen. Josh just shrugged. "Well head down the hall to the left and follow the signs that say, gymnasium till you get there." He stated and shook his head, trying in vain to get around the fact that Josh was now a girl.

"Thanks." Josh walked out of the office and made her way to the gym without any problems.

When she entered the Gym she noticed that here were quite a few police officer s there and even more police trainees she smiled under her mask. She was now going to be able to fight crime legally. She might even get a gun. "Coool!" She didn't like guns that much but she thought it would be cool to play with one for a bit. She wouldn't use it unless she wanted to. She wouldn't normally want to either. Her fists were more painful and powerful than any weapon. Due to her martial arts training.

One of the drill sergeants that was in the gymnasium looked over to Josh and faltered in his training. "What the hell?" He murmured to himself before marching over to Josh with a slightly annoyed look on his face.

"You new recruits can be strange." He stated addressing the group he had been training before hand, "But you. You just take the cake!" This brought some laughs from the trainees and trainers, Josh just looked calmly at what was happening in the Gym.

"So what's first?" She asked nonchalantly.

The officer stared blankly at Josh. "Wha! First you should get out of that get-up, and into some training clothes like the rest of us." He motioned to the group behind us who where starting to gather around.

"Ok. Can I have some training clothes then?" Josh said.

"Um, sure. In the change room there should be a pair waiting for you if you are to be here." The instructor said,

Josh thanked the instructor and headed to the change room to get into the training clothes. She came back a moment later in a baggy training uniform, overtop of her Spider Girl costume. The instructor was little miffed.

"I told you to get rid of that damn clown suit!" The sergeant said.

Josh just walked over and stood with the other new recruits. "I'm a super hero. Unlike normal people we have secret identities." She said.

"Well then show us the woman under the mask! What's your name and what do you look like?" He asked. Josh just put up a single pointer finger in the air in front of her.

"That...is a secret!" The sergeant frowned and decided that ignoring the Spider powered person was for the best. She was already getting on his nerves. He was sure that she wouldn't make it through this course anyway. She wasn't a super hero. Or that was what he thought.

*****************

The Tick bounded towards the police station that was only a few meters in front of him. This action caused a slight bit of damage to the front of the building. Tick stepped into the building through the hole he had recently made, waved his hands around each other and miraculously repaired the wall. He turned to the desk clerk and said, "Excuse me good sir."

The desk clerk was a woman and just sat there not looking at him, she was busy filing her nails. "You're excused ma'am." She said sarcastically.

"Why thank you! So I can go into this office of all that is just?"

The clerk shrugged slightly. "It's your ass."

Evan looked down towards his ass and then motioned towards her with his elbow. "And it's a nice one isn't it? Well thank you for all your help gate keeper of the temple of JUSTICE!!" Tick bounded into the hallways of the police building and instantly turned into a small boy, who looked very lost.

He wandered around whimpering every once and a while, attempting to get attention. He finally got a Female officer to stop and crouch down to see what was wrong. "Can I help you little boy?" She asked kindly.

Evan whimpered and responded in a very little kid voice, "My daddy is a policey man, he saided he would be back from his trainy stuff. B-But he never came!!" Evan broke down into tears and was comforted by the officer.

"There there little boy. I'll help you find your daddy."

Evan smiled evilly for a second and then got back to sniffling and whining.

****************

Josh smiled as she just hopped over the twenty foot high wall in the back of the police station. She was surprised that they had such an extensive training program. They had everything they needed right here. The sergeant in charge of the training was furious. Josh was treating the training like a game. He just hopped over everything and made it seem forty times easier than it truly was. He was really miffed when he found out that the young girl really did have super powers. Just then a booming voice came from the doors to the back of the police station.

"JOOOSSH! I've got a PRESENT FOR YOUUU!!" Came the voice. Josh turned around to see who it was and noticed that it was...the Tick.

"What...the...HELL!?" Josh said unbelievably. Was that...EVAN!!!!!!! josh turned her head away from him hoping that she would blend in with the rest of the officers, but her red spandex suit gave her away. The big blue muscled form of the Tick swooped her up in his arms and swung her around.

"JOSH-CHAN!! My ally of JUSTICE!!! I'VE GOT A PRESENT!!!!"

"OH GOD LET ME DIIIEEE!!" Josh screamed as Evan hugged her. It was really gross having affection come from her friend. He was too...dumb.

Evan transmorphed into Kasumi and hugged harder. "I've got a way for you to talk to ME... or at least the real me... Oh you know what I mean! It's this inter dimensional television communicator... thingy. I made a while ago and thought you could use it!"

Josh broke free of Evan's Spider hug and began to pummel him to the ground evan though he looked like Kasumi. "DON'T YOU EVER TAKE KASUMI'S FORM AGAIN!! I DON'T CARE HOW FUNNY YOU THINK IT IS!" Josh then threw Evan to the ground and booted him away about ten yards with a hoof to the gut.

Evan landed on his feet due to the lovely symbiote. "You know, If I didn't have an alien attached to me, That could have really hurt. And um, sorry about the Kasumi thing." Evan morphed into chief Wiggem from the Simpsons. "I LIKE DOHNUTSS!!" He screamed as he ran around in circles with his belly waving like the Atlantic ocean. "So, do you accept my appology?" He continued to run, and began mocking the drill instructor.

Josh shrugged. "Sure why not. I made friends with Mysterio this morning. Why can't I make up with my kidnapper?" She said.

Evan morphed into Mysterio, only he had a fish bowl on his head. "You made friends with the master of mysteries!?! I knew he was cool, but now I'm doubting his evilousity." Evan stated as he did a hand stand and a fish fell out of his head and began flopping on the ground.

Josh shrugged. "I'd rather turn him to the good side than have to fight him. It'd be like tripping on acid. Besides he's gonna become a movie director or something. Then we'd be able to watch hella cool movies."

Evan looked thoughtful. "That's a pretty good point."

"ARE YOU TWO IDIOTS DONE YET!?!" Screamed the sergeant at the two super heroes, in anger. He was getting tired of the big one changing into random people. It was annoying like a teletuby

Evan morphed into normal Evan and turned to the sergeant. "Um, just so you know I had my IQ checked. I'm one of the highest in this universe. But I guess I still fall under the category of idiot, So! I'm going to leave and prepare tomorrow's lesson! Bye Josh!" Evan then turned into Venom and flew away.

"Since when could he fly?" Josh mused.

*****************

Josh groaned as he walked into Ben's apartment. She had changed out of her Spider costume and lay on the couch. She was tired. She had science homework to do and that sergeant was a dick. He was a real ass hole. Josh decided that she'd like to go to sleep right now. Screw the homework. She then sat up as she heard something in the kitchen. She got up and walked over there to see what it was.

Ben Franklin greeted the youth and began speaking Japanese, <"Hi Josh! I'm just touching up tomorrow's lesson! Thought I might be enlightened if I was Ben Franklin, So far no luck.">

Josh frowned at the boy. "You're an idiot. Why do you feel the need to make the symbiote change your shape all the time? You also change into the stupidest things. JUDGE JUDY? FOR GOD SAKES WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?"

<"Oh you saw that?"> Evan inquired. <"Well I discovered that Eddie Brock was a pussy and was afraid to bring out the full potential of the alien creature that was bonded to him. So I'm putting it to good use.">

"Judge Judy is not good use, fool." Josh smacked Ben Franklin upside the head and he fell off the chair.

<"Josh. Judge Judy is a bad person. She needed to be blamed for something that would devastate her career, maybe even her life. I think it was necessary. And have you finished your homework? Cause I'm bored and wouldn't mind doing it."> Evan melted off the floor and into his normal form, again sitting on the chair.

"Yeah, you can do my math too, and my English, and social studies. Kay? I'ma gonna go to bed." Josh then left the kitchen and fell asleep quickly on the couch.

<"He didn't do his Social studies? Man he is LAZY! Oh well, I'll do the math and English but Social studies! He goes to far!"> Evan got to work on the math and was done in a minute. He completed his own homework that he had assigned in less time. The English took him a half hour, the Social Studies kept him up all night because he decided to read the entire social studies text book as well. He learned a lot though. He could now speak in Shakespearian perfectly, and was good enough to con anyone into scoring with him just by talking.

*************

Evan forgot the social studies stuff the next morning for some reason. [Loki laughed again]

***************

Evan walked to the front of the class that he had grown so accustomed to over the last week and a day. He looked around the class and realised that every student was here. He checked down the list and was amazed, *I thought they would have all dropped out of my class by now! Geez! What will it take to discourage these people!* He stepped up to his chalkboard and jotted down formulae involving everything from universal relativity to the simplest electricity formula. He turned around and noticed that all the students were actually writing. *HOLY CRAP! THEY CAN LEARN!!* He mused to himself. *I may be able to save their brains from the rot of crappy politicians and the likes, I AM SUPER TEACHER* He pumped his arms in the air, drawing some attention from the class.

Evan blushed slightly embarrassed and then threw an eraser at Nikki's head. She had several lumps on her head already from being in Evan's class and was knocked unconscious. "Hmm I need a new eraser target, student." Evan said. He pointed to a scrawny geek and smiled evilly. "You, Cory Cowie, with the cross eyes. Your new name is rat ass." Evan then whipped an eraser at the kids head and he fell on the floor.

"Ten points." Josh muttered.

"Thanks for keeping score Joanna! You are the new score keeper of the rat ass eraser toss event."

"Nikki had four thousand and eighty one try to top it." Josh said.

"NO DON'T!!" Rat ass called out whiny like from the floor. Evan then threw four erasers at him in succession.

Each impacted with a large amount of force. Evan turned as though nothing had happened and returned to teaching. "Do you all know why I wrote these formulae on the board?" Evan looked around and didn't see a hand in the air. Cory Cowie, or Rat ass was just crawling up into his chair and Evan pointed to him. "Do you know?... the muffin man? Or what I just wrote on the board? Or were you paying attention? Thinking your so great! Just because you've got the place on the floor doesn't make you better than the rest of us! We are all Communists here! EQUAL DAMN IT!! EQUAL!!!" Evan didn't even wait for an answer and hurled a barrage of erasers at the youth. Rat ass fell dramatically, keeping one hand in the air to signal surrender, Evan just pelted his hand with another eraser.

"That was only a five. You can do better." Josh noted.

Evan hung his head in falsified shame, "I know, I know." He blasted Rat ass with another pile of erasers, and turned to the class. "Does anyone else know why in God's name I put the equations on the board?"

Everyone put their hands in the air.

"Much better." Evan said.

Evan selected Josh from the back and nodded to her. "Joanna. Do tell me why I put this on the board."

"Cause your the teacher."

"Correct! That and no absolute reason in particular! The whole note was pointless!! But on the up side, all of you can now calculate the electrical flow between two universes!"

****************

Josh smiled as she led Venom into the lair of Mysterio. He had asked her to show him where it was and Josh told him it would be alright if he came along. They had to change into super hero modes before entering though.

"So, the wall is completely fake? Cool!!" Evan waved his hand through the wall a few times before following Josh, "And what did you think of my lecture today? Was that useless or what!"

Spider Girl shrugged as she and Venom walked through the large halls. "It was boring as usual. Your a bad influence on other teachers. They all started throwing erasers at the students." Josh paused for a moment and then a blueish pink magical aura appeared in front of them. "Hey Kasumi's here."

"Perfect!" Two devices emerged from Venom's side and he tossed the smaller of the two to Spider Girl and got ready to hand the larger one to Kasumi.

Kasumi appeared and then hugged Josh. She pulled up the Spider Girl mask and planted a kiss on her Husband turned wife. "Hello, husband." Kasumi said in English. It was broken but not to bad for a few weeks of learning.

<"There's no need to talk in English Kasumi."> Evan then handed the larger device to Kasumi. It was a little heavy since it was the size of a small TV and she nearly dropped it. Evan then decided to explain how they worked.

<"I want you to have this Kasumi. It's the most effective way to talk to Josh. I won't waste your precious time with your husband so I've included an in depth manual in Japanese and English along with plans if it breaks down. But it is basically indestructible so there probably won't be a need for it. It's like a tv telephone that spans universes without delay. So you to can talk at any time, just press the red button and presto! Instant Josh on screen."> Evan smiled and stepped back to allow the lovers to continue as he stood back and thought up some way to better the devices.

Just then a metal CLANG was heard behind them. Josh nearly big sweated as she turned around. There was five killer robot things behind them. They were just staying stationary and Evan and Josh got into defensive stances in front of Kasumi. "What's going on!?" Josh wondered out loud. "I thought that we'd already been through this!"

Mysterio then appeared right in front of the robots. "That was before you BROKE MY HEART!"

<"Oh God, It's Kuno!"> Then Evan stepped up to Mysterio. "Ok, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!" Evan used the stretching capabilities of the symbiote to enlarge his face and mouth to look more animeish.

Mysterio put on the dramatics big time. "That temptress had duped me into thinking that we could have a future together!" He said. "I watched her get naked and now I see her with another woman! Oh the pain!" Evan used to think Mysterio was cool but this was too much. He was acting like he was poisoned by the Kuno disease or something.

"Man is Pervert!" Kasumi said. Josh mock glared at her.

"Have you been hanging around Akane too much?" He asked. Kasumi shrugged and glared at Mysterio.

"Great! All your wife needs is a hammer and we could smoke this guy!"

"Why don't you make one with your symbiote or something for her?" Evan shrugged and did so, ordering the symbiote strand to do whatever Kasumi told it to. The moment the symbiote touched Kasumi's skin however it was consumed by an aura of kindness and love. Making it a pansy.

*Oh GOD! It feels like a part of me went GAY!!!* Evan shuttered and tried to shake off the horrid feeling of love towards Josh.

Evan attacked one of the robots behind Mysterio in another attempt to rid his mind of the love for another man. He hopped onto the robots head, much to the surprise of Mysterio and the robots.

"ATTACK HIM!!!" Mysterio ordered, Evan had anticipated this and waited for the fists of two other robots to impact with the head of the robot he had recently landed on. Evan simply leapt off and onto another robots cranium. *To easy.* he thought as the effect repeated it's self. The third time though he wasn't so lucky, the robot it's self attacked him and the others stood back and fired missiles. *Where did the missiles come from? Who cares! I'll just kill off these robots and this odd gay feeling will leave... I hope.* Evan straddled the first of four missiles and redirected it towards another robot, who shot it out of the air with a laser. *Ok, now they have lasers! Good fun!* Evan landed in a puddle form on the floor and seeped under one of the robots and instantly turned it into his own Mech, using it's weapons against it's allies.

Mysterio pressed a button on his arm and thirty more of the robots came in through hidden doorways. Evan sweated. This was shitty. The new mecha were different though. They were bigger and had a HELLUVA lot more weapons. Evan began dodging using the simulated Spider sense he got from the symbiote after ditching his mecha that was destroyed by the others.

Josh jumped in and began helping out. Kasumi sat in the corner and watched. Josh leapt into the fray of robots and began tearing them apart at amaguriken speed. Evan was helping but his powers weren't as great as Joshes. Evan noticed Kasumi in the corner and ordered the symbiote that had partly bonded with her to protect her from anything. Then he got back to his strategy of controlling one mecha at a time and waiting till it was out of ammo or destroyed by his counter parts. It seemed to be working quite well as the robots were programmed to attack without thinking.

Josh jumped towards Mysterio and knocked his helmet off with a punch. She automatically knew it was him. He whimpered after realizing that all of his robots had been destroyed. "Mysterio I thought you were gonna go good and stop this idiotic villain CRAP! You're smarter than this!" She said as she motioned towards the totalled robots.

"I wanted you to be mine! But you had to be unnatural and take a woman over a real man." He said Kunoish as tears streamed from his eyes. "You were my last chance at happiness and normality."

"What are you kidding?! I'm twice the man you are and I'm half girl! That is my wife I was kissing! I have a curse! That turns me into a girl with a splash of cold water, and back into a guy with warm." Mysterio looked confused and then splashed her with water to see if it was true. Josh was caught off guard and got the warm water right in the face. She shifted forms and turned into a guy. He took off his mask and sure enough he was male.

Venom walked up and put a comforting hand on Mysterio and said, "You'll get used to it! Cheer up! Your relationship will be weird, but you've been in jail before so I sure you know what it's like." Evan bit his tongue as the symbiote connected to Kasumi began to win over his consciousness. Josh reared back to beat Evan up for saying that but Evan put up his hands to stop the man.

"No I'll do it myself!" Evan then began beating himself to get the Gay feelings out. He could feel it working. Josh shrugged and tore Mysterio's green villain costume off. He then threw him a pair of blue jeans and the man put them on quickly.

"Straighten up Mysterio. You got your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it away on petty crimes and revenge against Spider Man. If you decide to change your ways and go straight, then come down to this address on Friday. That's poker night." Josh handed Mysterio a piece of paper and the man looked at it. Josh looked over to where Kasumi was but she was gone. All that was left was a blueish pink haze.

Josh shrugged and motioned for Evan, who was strangling himself, to follow him and then the two left.

*****************

That Friday, Venom swung into the apartment and morphed into Evan, who had been receiving counseling for his odd feelings towards Josh. "Well, that psyche guy was weird! I bet he was gayer than the symbiote strand that Kasumi has... WAIT I HAVE AN IDEA!!! Kasumi could burn the basterdly gay symbiote! Or completely fuse with it!" Evan declared to empty space.

Ben walked into the living room after hearing Evan's ranting. "You haven't forgot about poker night have you?"

Evan slumped his shoulders, remembering his horrid losing the last time. "No, I have not forgotten." Evan morphed into Doc Ock, "And I will have my revenge!!" He turned back to normal and hopped over the couch and in a fluid movement turned on the tv and fluffed a pillow. He stretched out on the couch and said to Ben "Wake me up when you boys are ready to win my paycheck." He fell asleep quickly and the symbiote began doing some weird things, as though it was trying to re-fuse with it's lost half. Evan didn't seem to notice, as he was asleep, but it unnerved Ben a lot.

Just then Josh and Peter entered the apartment and smiled. "Who's ready to lose?" Josh asked with a smile.

"You're not beating me this time." Ben said with a frown. "I've been practicing." Josh shrugged and sat down on the couch after shoving Evan off of it. Evan woke up and sat up. The symbiote stopped moving and then Peter cracked out a pack of playing cards. Just as the man was about to deal out the cards to himself and the other three players there was a knock at the door. Everyone turned their attention to the door.

Ben opened the door to reveal A normal looking man, wearing blue jeans and a white T-shirt.

"Um, hi. I'm here for poker night. Spider Girl and Venom told me it would be Ok." The man said as he peeked inside to see if the aforementioned Super heroes were present.

Evan shook off some sleep and waved to the man, "Come on in Mysterio!" He called out as he morphed himself into a standing position and walked over to the table. Evan sat down and motioned for the now entering ex-villain to follow his lead, Ben and Peter just stared. Their spider senses were not warning them of danger, so they reluctantly accepted his company.

The rest of the group gathered around the table and took their respective seats, Evan used the symbiote to pull Mysterio up a chair. Peter dealt out the cards. Everyone became serious, except Evan who swept his hand over his face, making it devoid of all features. "Got to put on my poker face." He stated, most of the people groaned, but Mysterio chuckled.

"Wow, someone with a sense of humor! Well there is people who don't just laugh when fighting." evan said making an obvious jest of Peter and his clone.

This brought some dark stares, Evan remained devoid of features and brought his cards up to where his eyes should have been, "Does anyone have glasses? I can read a damn card!" Mysterio chuckled again. Josh punched Evan in the gut. Evan keeled over and got his facial features back.

"I'm trying to win. Stop distracting me." Josh said. She looked at her cards and then set one down picking another up from the deck.

******************

One hour later. Everyone was frowning. Josh was the only exception. She had a huge smile on her face and set her cards down face up. "What do you know? I've got a royal flush again! I win." Josh then took all of the money that was in the middle of the table and pulled it over to her side, adding it to her already vast pile of cash.

"That's it I give up!" Mysterio said as he threw his cards down to the table. "This kid is robbing me."

"Now you know how it feels eh Mysterio?" Peter asked Mysterio with a glare.

"Is that a threat mister Parker? Mysterio asked as he fixed the man with a glare of his own. "And don't call me Mysterio." He added. "I'm going straight and it's Carl now! I figured that if I really want to start over I'll need to wipe the slate clean. So I got a new Identity."

"Great idea , um, Carl? Yeah, Carl right? I could get used to that, although I think Jonny fits a bit better, but who am I to judge..." Evan morphed into Judge Judy "JUDY!!!" Evan roll on to the floor laughing. Josh began pounding Evan relentlessly.

"STOP THE EVIL!!!!" She yelled as she did so. When Josh calmed down she packed away all the money she won and motioned for Carl to follow her. She moved into the closet that she had renovated as her room and reached up at the top, pulling something down and handing it to Mysterio.

"I made this for you." She said with a smile. "I figured that now that your a good guy you could be a part time super hero so I made you something that would suit you. Mysterio unrolled the costume and stared at it. It was kind of a mix between his Mysterio costume and some technological stuff. Josh pointed to the technological parts that were on the forearms, his lower legs, collar and chest. "These have a bunch of the cool ass illusion crap I stole from your lair. I modeled it kind of after a science fiction movie called Predator and got Evan to put in a bunch of cool shyte like jet boots so you could fly and lasers and stuff. Cool eh?" She asked.

"I don't know what to say..." Mysterio stuttered. "It looks great!" Josh shrugged.

"Yeah well once you get into the hero biz it's kind of fun. It'll kind of give you a sense of responsibility." Mysterio smiled and tucked it under his arm.

"Thanks. For everything." Josh nodded with a smile.

A phone like sound came from Joshes pocket and she pulled out a phone type device and looked at it with a smile. She pressed a button on the front and then a face appeared on the screen. It was Kasumi.

"Hello honey." Josh said as he turned away from Mysterio to take the call. "How's the baby?" Kasumi smiled on the screen.

"The baby is doing fine. It's to early to tell if it'll be a girl or a boy though." Josh nodded.

"True. Your English is getting a lot better. You still got a little bit of an accent but other than that you got it down. Is Akane still mad at me for taking off?"

Kasumi nodded. "Yes. She is really upset. I keep telling her that it is okay but she thinks your just hitting on all the women in the galaxy or something along those lines. She's really annoying too." Josh laughed a bit.

"I never did like her. She's got way too big of a temper and a very limited imagination." Josh then paused for a moment. "Can I talk to her? I think maybe she needs to hear it from me or something."

Kasumi nodded. "Okay." Kasumi walked out of the screens view and then a moment later Akane came back.

"What do you want!?" She asked with a scowl as she glared at Joshes female image through the view screen. "I've got things to do today."

"Like what?" Josh asked. "All you ever seem to do is bitch about everything and beat Ranma half to death. That man is like a brother to me and I don't really like that fact that his fiancée is an abusive snot!" Josh smiled evilly at Akane. "Someday your gonna push or hit him too hard and he'll leave you. I know you and your family like books. If I give you advise then it's more than likely best that you listen."

Akane stayed silent not knowing what to say about that. She knew he was right, that he was from another dimension so it wasn't the smartest thing to do to not listen to him.

"I will never cheat on my wife. Unlike you I am a very honorable man. Your an unhonourable man."

"Hey!"

Josh ignored her. "I have a child now that Kasumi is holding. I wouldn't leave my wife of my own will. Why would I want to leave my child? That is inhuman." Josh smiled. "You know you should make up with Ranma. You already know that he's a way better martial artist than you so if you made up with him you could probably learn some new moves. That's all the advice I'll give you, bye." Josh pressed the hangup button and the screen turned dark.

"Time for the super hero gig." She said before moving to get her Spider Girl costume.

***************

Evan turned to Peter Parker, getting an amazing idea for his next project. "Pete. Where does Curt Conners live?"

Peter looked curious, "Why do you want to visit him?"

"Well, as he is a fellow scientist, I thought it would be nice to meet him and pass around formulas and stuff." Evan suggested.

Peter shrugged, "Sure I guess you could visit him, I'll take you to his place in a bit, I just need to count up how much money Josh won off me." Peter looked glum, Evan patted his shoulder.

"It's ok Pete, I lost my whole paycheck. Your losses can't be that bad." Evan offered his moral support to yhe photographer.

Pete seemed a bit better, knowing that someone had lost more than he did.

An hour later, Evan was knocking on the Conners' door. Peter need to explain his losses to MJ, so he didn't stay around.

Evan thought back to the poker game and realized that Josh must have been using his perception point to win, Evan shook his head in shame for not noticing that before hand. Just then the oak door opened, revealing a one armed scientist and his son. The young boy with blonde hair just walked past Evan and began walking down the street, probably to go play with some of his friends or something.

"Curt Conners?" evan asked, already knowing the answer.

"That's me." Curt responded, seeming curious to the identity of the stranger at his door. "And who are you."

"Oh, I'm just an admirer of your work with genetics, I was hoping to meet the man behind the amazing formulae." Evan said with heart felt enthusiasm.

Curt seemed shocked that anyone remembered his work and invited the youth inside for some coffee.

"Your a bit young to be delving into genetics aren't you?" Curt asked.

Evan shrugged as he sipped some coffee, "I guess so, but I just do what I like. I guess genetics is just one of those things." He said with a small laugh.

Curt laughed a bit as well and then turned to the boy, "You know, I could use an apprentice. Are you interested?"

Evan looked shocked that an esteemed scientist would just toss around apprenticeships to any kid with an interest in their works. "I'd be honored sir! But I might not be able to be here full-time, I've got a job as a teacher." Curt sputtered in his coffee.

"You teach!?!"

Evan shrugged again, "Yup, physics. I've been teaching for a week now. It's pretty easy, but some of the kids are quite dumb."

Curt laughed, "The intelligence level has dropped hasn't it. So where do you teach?"

"Castle Hills highschool. It's in New York, just downtown."

Curt nodded, "I know the place. It's a nice school. Where did you get your teaching degree?"

"Well, um, I don't have one. But the second I gave my lecture on Astro relativity and Quantum Physics they ate me up and offered the job without any requirements."

Curt was clearly amazed, "I deal mostly in Bio studies, but I have heard of those subjects. Quite complex don't you think?"

"Yeah it used to be but I got good at it. Speaking of bio science I gave my friend Spider Powers about two weeks ago. I could probably cure your Lizard problem too."

Curt sputtered in his coffee for the second time and dropped his cup to the table. "Your kidding! And how did you know about the Lizard!?! Heal me! How?" His speech was sporadic, but Evan knew he would react like this and calmed the conversation down.

"Ok, I used one of Reed Richards books to give my friend the powers. I could use the opposite of that formula to cure you. And I know about the Lizard from the media in my universe."

"Your from another UNIVERSE!?!" Conners said completely baffled.

Evan put his hand on his chin and furrowed his brow. "You know I get that a lot. But yeah I am. For some reason I'm just able to pick up knowledge as fast as Josh eats."

Conners sat down "I take it this Josh is the person you gave the Spider powers to?""

Evan nodded. "She's kind of married to this girl in another universe. You might recognized her from the papers as Spider Girl, and me as VENOM! Chibi."

Conners seemed confused at the chibi part, but the rest made sense to him. Other than the girl, girl marriage. "So your friend is a lesbian?"

"I guess so, well some of the time anyway. He's... kind of hard to explain. The term for it was aqua transsexual if I remember correctly." Evan said as he sipped some more coffee.

Conners seemed to understand the term and looked pensive. "So you can heal me? What do you want for it?"

"Nothing." Evan stated simply between sips. "I just think it'd be fun. I made a formula last night." Evan then pulled out a vial from his pocket he handed it to Curt who took it and examined it. It was purple and it swirled a pinkish and green pattern. "Want to try it Conners? I'm on Spider Man's good side so you can trust me. If it doesn't work then I have an antidote to put you back to normal." Evan pulled out another vial and set it on the table.

Conners stood up and thought long and hard. This was a big decision and he didn't want to waste the chances for a cure, though he also didn't want to risk anything bad happening. He sighed and nodded. "I'll do it."

Evan smiled. "Don't look so gloomy. I didn't sentence you to death or nothing. Cheer up." Evan pulled out a syringe from his pocket and took the top off of the formula vial, he stuck the needle in and sucked it all up. He rolled up Conners sleeve and inserted the needle. He released all of the formula into him and then when he pulled the needle out Conners started to convulse and fell to the floor.

Conners seemed to be having some sort of mental battle as he gripped his head with his single arm in pain. Evan just watched calmly. Curt began to shift back and forth from a lizard like state to his human side. His arm started to grow from the socket that it was in and formed a fully functional arm. It too went to clutch his head and then he just stopped. Curt Conners lay on the floor breathing heavily and sweating just the same.

He looked at his right arm which was the missing one and half smiled. "Y-You did it." He said in amazement. Evan nodded and watched in fascination.

"Very interesting."

*****************

When Evan left Curt looked down at his hand and flexed it. For years he had nothing there, for years he had learned to live with it and accepted it after a while. Now. Now he had a new arm. Grew it like some sort of lizard but not. The boy that was there was incredible. He was very special, and Curt felt that the boy would go a long way.

It was almost frightening how powerful the boys mind was and Conners knew then that he had to make sure that the boy never turn to evil. He heard the front door open but it didn't really register in his mind. It was fully transfixed on the sight of a new arm that was now on his body. Footsteps echoed through the house and he didn't even notice when his wife, Martha, entered the room setting the groceries on the table and putting the majority of them away.

Martha looked over at her husband and smiled. She went back to putting the groceries away but then threw her head back into the air when she noticed that her husband had two arms rather than one. "OH MY GOD!" Sh said as she covered her mouth with her hand and dropped a can of peas to the ground.

Curt looked up and smiled at his wife, "I'm cured."

*****************

Curt stood out side smiling as he threw a baseball back and forth with Billy. Long had the shadow of the ferocious lizard haunted his soul. Now because of a young boy he had just met he was normal again. Even the little things that he could do with two hands felt incredible to him. Just then something that lay dormant in the formulae activated itself. Evan hadn't told Conners everything about the formulae. The truth was Evan had no idea what the effects would be. He just guessed after reading a bunch of genetic books.

Curt fell to his knees and clutched his stomach. He looked at his hands and noticed that his skin was getting harder. It was turning reptilian. Billy, his son, saw what was happening and ran into the house, warning his mother what was happening. Martha looked out the window and noticed that her husband had once again turned into the evil minded Lizard.

Curt felt the pain go away and sat on the ground. He groaned and felt his head. It still pounded a little bit for some reason but he couldn't for the life of him figure out had happened. When he touched his head though he felt different. He pulled his hand down and looked at it in shock. He...was...THE LIZARD!

"WHAT THE!?" Curt, now the lizard jumped to his feet and looked himself over. Somehow he had turned into the Lizard yet he was still himself. He still had control of his body. "This can't be real!" He said to himself. "I CAN'T BE THE LIZARD! NOT AGAIN!!!" He fell to his knees and tears fell from his red reptilian eyes. He needed to find Evan. He needed... to find out what went wrong.

He just sat there for a moment drawing a picture in the grass with his now green claws that donned his hands. "I can't believe I took such a stupid chance." He muttered to himself. "Genius kid my ass! I'll bet that he never really gave that girl/boy any powers anyway."

Dr. Conners looked up and took back all that he said when he saw a female version of Spider Man land in his front yard. She looked at the lizard and got in a ready pose waiting for a fight. Curt, not wanting to be seen this way, turned away from her . "Leave me alone." He said in a pathetic voice as he wiped a tear from his eye.

Josh was startled. "Mr. Conners? Are you...in there?" She asked in bafflement. Conners looked over his shoulder and glared at her.

"This is what your little friend did yo me." He said standing up and holding his lizard-like arms up for her to see. "Look at me! I'm a freak now!" Josh shrugged.

"Could be worse. You could have turned into a woman. Listen." She said moving forward. "I'm not here to fight you I'm here to help. You see... Evan told me that he went to see you last night and he told me about it last night. I just wanted to stop by and see if everything was all right. My fears have been realized though. I'm sorry."

"What am I going to do?" Conners asked with a heavy sigh. "If I'm stuck like this. My life is ruined."

Josh walked towards the Lizard man and put a hand on his broad and scaly shoulder. "I think maybe it can be reversed by a thought. Evan would never purposely mutate somebody into a horrible beast, and if he did then I'm sure that you'd probably be able to tun back to normal with just a thought. It works that way in the comics."

"In the COMICS!?" Conners yelled at the girl. She jumped back a bit in surprise and Conners continued. "This isn't a comic book girl!" Josh shrugged and then turned around.

"Just think about what I said." Josh finished, spinning a web and taking off into the city.

Conners watched Spider Girl swing away and turned towards his house. He opened the door and had to squeeze hi massive form through the doorway. He sat down on the couch in his living room and picked up a remote. Turning on the TV. He began watching the tube and slumped in the chair, falling asleep soon halfway through a Just Shoot Me episode.

**************

Authors notes: {Well this is odd now isn't it? I got a universal phone, Mysterio's a good guy for good, Conners is the Lizard with a good mind. What else could we possibly do in this crazy fic? How about heroes return? Ooohh yeah! Gee you don't think they'll find it weird that there's four Spider Men now do you? Heavens no! Aunt Anna is a wierd old lady dontcha think? Im gonna get to meet my heroes soon. The ones the onlys The Fantastic FOURS!!...four. If you know what I mean. Well I don't got a whole HELLUVA lot to say so here's the one the only. PATHETIC MAN! Evan for short}

Morden Night: anime_morden@crystal-tokyo.com

http://josh_vh.tripod.com/mordensranmapage/

(Thank ladies and Gentlemen!! I am PATHETIC MAN!!!! Um yeah, or at least that's what Josh calls me... I live in a cage. Conners made a good point though, I could cause destruction with my genius, well in the story anyway. Maybe in real life too, but It would take some doing. I wonder if reed will be mad at me for destroying his crib? Will the thing pummel me? Will Sue pummel me? Will I become the human candle due to the lovely burning sensation the Human torch? All this and more on the next SELF INSERTION!!!... or not. But heck! It might happen. You never know! With josh as "DM" I probably will be beaten and bruised in some form or another, and why the hell does Loki keep doing stuff? I honestly do not know! Um, yeah... That's all from me. Ta!)

Agasaki Ishano: agasaki@crystal-tokyo.com

http://evan_m0.tripod.com