Self Insertion

This is a self insertion fic. It's pretty much me and my friend get into a Sliders type mix up. Cept we go to worlds like Animes and Cartoons and Movies and other stuff. Both of us are writing it as well so the Genre will fluctuate. Be warned, be afraid, be readin' my story please. And enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own nothin! Cept me!

* *: Thoughts

Capital letters: Shouting or loud noises

< >: Japanese

_ _: Stressed words

{ }: Josh's own thoughts

( ): Evan's own thoughts and location

Chapter 11

An Old New Threat

Martha Conners and Her son, Billy Conners, was currently hiding in the closet in her son's room. Her husband had turned into a hideous monster mere minutes ago. He was now some sort of half Lizard, half Man amalgamation. She had been hiding in the closet with Billy for the last half an hour. They hadn't heard anything for quite a while and Martha peeked out of the closet. She didn't see anything in the room so she crept out of the closet as quietly as possible, with Billy by her side.

Martha opened the door to the room and stuck her head outside. She could hear that the television was on in the living area down stairs and she crept silently down the stairs, Billy clung fearfully to her as they crept down the stairs. One of the floorboard creaked when they touched down at the bottom of the stairs and they froze when they heard muffled movement coming from the area near the TV. Martha silently told Billy to stay where he was and she crept over to where she heard the sound.

She was a little confused when she saw the object of her fear sprawled out on the living room couch asleep. "M...Martha." The Lizard muttered in it's sleep. His eyelids fluttered open and gazed at the lithe blonde woman standing nearby. "Honey?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.

Martha backed up a little. "C...Curt?" he asked in fear. "Is...is that you?" Dr. Curt Conners looked down at himself and realized why she was looking at him the way she was.

"I...I'm still the lizard." He said as he stared at his hands in sorrow. He sat up and slumped his head. "You must think I'm a horrible monster now." He said. Martha realized that Curt was actually in control of the Lizard and she slowly moved towards him and sat down beside him on the couch. "All my years I've been looking for a way to get my arm back, looking for a way to get rid of the Lizard. Now I've got my arm." He said as he held up his right arm. "But I've now become the monster that I've been trying to get rid of."

Martha put her arm around the Lizards shoulders and he flinched. "Honey. How did this happen?" she asked.

The Lizard growled, unnerving Martha. "I just wanted to be normal. I trusted a complete stranger and this is the results." He said, hanging his scaled head.

Martha wrapped her arms around his thick neck and attempted to comfort her husband. "I'm sure the man who did this is very sorry honey." She said, still in disbelief at her husbands control over the monster.

Billy came up to his father, "Daddy, I still love you."

Curt began to cry. "I don't deserve your love Billy. I'm... a monster."

Billy hugged his father, Curt barely restrained from breaking down completely. And then it happened, the humanity shown to him by his wife and child brought back the words of Spider Girl. Curt had nothing else to lose now so he closed his reptilian eyelids and concentrated hard on the image of his human side. Forcing his body to change. Billy and Martha felt the muscles shift under their embrace and then the scales soften and turn to skin.

"I'm BACK!" Curt said happily as he checked himself over and then grabbed his family in a hug. "I understand what he did now. It makes perfect sense."

"Oh curt." Martha said through half tears eyes.

****************

Venom web slung around the city, heading in the direction of the Fantastic four building. His swings were interrupted by a scream in a alley. *I hate small crooks.* Evan thought to himself as he swung down to the alley to check out the crime in progress.

Two guys with guns threatened a young lady, "Give us your money lady, and nobody gets hurt."

A low voice from behind the crooks, "On contraire. I do believe you will be in a lot of pain when I'm done." A swift black shadow whizzed by the two men and the girl began to back out of the alley. She ran into a solid object that became soft and kept her balanced. "I hate the cliche, girl in trouble, girl is about to be rescued but runs into her savior. So I'll keep you up." Venom smiled down on the girl, who screamed and tried to move around the symbiotic hero and out onto the streets. Her knees failed her though and she fell to the cement just behind the black mass that was Evan.

Evan turned around, sighed, bent down and handed the girl her purse. "Here's your purse. Remember I'm the good guy okay?" Two gunshots cracked through the air. Evan felt them embed in the symbiotic flesh that was protecting him. He spun on one heel and glared at the crooks, "That could have hurt."

Evan pointed a hand at the crooks and two metal bullets fell to the ground. "Now it's your turn to hurt." Evan lunged at the defenseless villains and threw one punch at each, planting their frames in opposite walls. He turned to where the girl still stood and morphed into Evan. He smiled and waved at her. She was in shock.

"Oh come on! I'm not that bad looking am I?" Evan joked, trying to get a response from his first civilian save.

She just kept staring at him, her jaw dropped. "So now you think I'm hot or something? Geez, women!" Evan nodded to the girl, turned back into Venom and crawled up the wall, "Sorry lady! I've got to leave! You can stare at me some other time though!" Evan spun a web line and headed towards the FF building.

The girl remained in the alley, staring straight forward.

*************

Josh smiled as she flipped one of the tiddly winks into the cup. "Score!" She called out. Ben was sitting on the couch trying to watch TV and he looked over at her.

"Why do you always play tiddly winks half naked?" He asked unconsciously staring at her naked breasts.

Josh shrugged. "I got nothing better to do. Side's The Lizard should be coming by soon. I slipped him your address when I was talking to him. It had a note telling him to come here so that I could talk with him some more." Ben sputtered for a bit.

"THE LIZARD!?" He asked confused and surprised. He put his hand on his forehead and frowned. "Great! I just dealt with that reptilian psycho merely a month or two ago. Now you invite him over? When did Conners turn back into the Lizard!?" Josh shrugged.

"This morning. I think."

Just then there was a rapping on the window. Ben looked over and surely enough there was the Lizard hanging on the window sill, staring inside. Josh put on a shirt and walked over to the window. She opened it and let the Lizard in. He glided in easily and then immediately shifted into the form of Curt Conners.

"Good afternoon." He said. Ben looked flabbergasted at Curt.

*Since when could he change forms on instinct? And when had he gained control of the Lizard?*

Josh smiled at be and replied. "I know what your probably thinking. And the answer is sometime today." He smiled at Curt. "How yah doing doctor conners?"

Curt nodded at the girl. "Well now thanks to you... Spider Girl. I feel like a new man." Ben looked at Josh with a look of shock.

"You cured him!?" Josh shook his head.

"No. Evan did. That's probably why he kept the Lizard form as a side affect." Josh said as she sat back down a commenced her game of tiddly winks.

Curt gave her a strange look and then turned to Ben. "Do you know where Evan is, I want to thank him for curing me."

Ben shrugged, "I think he went off some time ago. To the old FF building."

Curt thanked him and transformed into the Lizard and hopped out the open window.

******************

Venom sat at a desk in the Four Freedoms plaza, looking over some of Reed Richard's notes. *I wish Reed was here, He would be able to teach me a whole whack of crap that involves genes. I have the ultimate weapon but no ideas on formulae to use.* Venom tossed the notes aside and materialized another set of notes in front of him. He ripped through them and tossed these aside as well.

"DAMN!!! Nothing! Where would his notes on genes be?" Venom paced around the floor and thought out loud.

"If I were a super genius... Which I am... Where would I put genetic notes? On a shelf of course!!" Venom then looked in dismay at the long rows upon rows of shelves in this room alone. He hung his head in defeat. "Damn you Reed. Damn you." Venom trudged to the first shelf and began leafing through the first row.

"Venom?" A hissing voice said from behind the symbiotic hero.

Venom spun around and threw his arms in the air and morphed into Evan. "DOCTOR CONNERS! How are you? I see my formula worked as you are not attacking me."

The Lizard shifted his shape to that of Curt Conners approached Evan. "I wanted to thank you for curing me Evan."

"You had already thanked me Curt. Why are you thanking me again?" Evan asked as he scratched the back of his head.

Curt put a hand on Evan's shoulder, "I didn't think your formula would keep my Lizard form."

"Yeah, the Lizard form was the only part I couldn't figure out. I mean it is grafted to your genetic strands is it not?" Evan laughed a bit.

Curt thought this over, "Yes I suppose it would be difficult to remove grafted DNA. I hadn't thought of it that way."

Evan smiled, "Hey Curt. Could you help me with some DNA stuff, I need to find a way to strip mutants of their powers. Like Magneto and the likes."

Curt nodded, "Sure. I guess I could lend an apprentice some of my notes."

*****************

A few days later. Six punks stood around a geekishly looking blonde kid with a large space between his teeth and huge glasses. "Ya hear me, Wuss" Said the leader of the gang to the kid. "I said we wus gonna steal yer wallet, and bash your face!" The gang leader with the bald head paused and looked angrier. "What ya SMILING at!?"

The geeky kid just looked up and smiled wider. "HIM!" He said.

One of the punks, with a brown Mohawk, looked up to where the kid was looking. "Him who...?

Just then two figures dropped down into the street and plowed into the punks. One of the figures decided to speak up. "I'll give you a few hints fellas. I'm often seen swinging around the city with my friend here! The man then bashed two of the punk's heads together. "I possess amazing strength..." He then rushed forward and kicked a few of the punks down on the ground. "and spectacular speed!"

The female figure that accompanied him spoke up as well. "Though my speed is even greater. We both shoot these fantastic webs." With that the two figures shot gooey strands of web at a few of the punks. "We possess devilish wits and can stick to walls, our agility is unsurpassed as well."

Spider Man punched out the last of the goons and smiled underneath his mask. "We're also the friendly neighborhood type."

"Except when it comes to bad guys." Spider Girl finished. Spider Man picked up the young geek's wallet and handed it to the boy.

"I...I don't know what to say...or how to thank you both!" The boy said "Y...You probably saved my life!"

"Glad I could help kid!" Spidey said. "It's all I try to do."

Both Spider peoples then jumped into the air, spinning web lines onto nearby buildings and swung off together.

Josh turned to Peter, "anything happen while I was away?" Peter shot out a line before talking.

"Well. While you and Evan where on a nice field trip. I had my powers return to full, almost got killed by a master of electricity. Not Evan mind you, but the ever loveable Electro." He said sarcastically.

Josh spun around and started swinging backwards, using spider sense to guide her as she spoke with Pete. "Electro? Didn't he super charge himself or something?"

Peter nodded in mid swing. "Yup. I guess these kind of things don't slip by you other dimension folk."

Josh smirked under the mask, "Have you spoken to X-man?"

"Not yet, but I was going to try and track the Tker down today to get some help. But now that you and Evan are here I might not need him." Peter stated, confident in Spider Girl and Venom's powers.

Josh nodded, "It probably wouldn't help to have a psychic on the team. But how did he beat you, didn't Ben help? Or what about Mysterio or Conners?" She asked as the pair landed on the roof of Peter's house.

"Ben was working at the time, couldn't skip it or he'd be fired. Mysterio was making some movie about the Four Spiders, and last but not least, Conners was at the FF building, fixing up some of Evan's spur of the moment ideas."

Peter nodded off and waved to Josh before flipping down to his bedroom window. Josh waved herself and then jumped off in the direction of Ben's apartment.

*Crazy!* She thought as she swung through the city. *It's just one thing after the other in this universe. I hope me and Evan can help Pete out with his Electro problem. It should be easy enough. One amaguriken and he's gone. He's gonna die anyway so why not. Pete doesn't want me to kill any of the villains so maybe I can get it through Electro's stupid whiney head that being a good guy is better.* Josh contemplated this as she swung.

*I wonder if I should shack up with the x-men. That'd be kind of cool and I could beat the crap out of Magneto and some of the other insane villains they usually deal with.* Josh shrugged. *Nah! Maybe I'll just hang out with them for a while and get their autographs or something.* Josh swung in through the window of Ben's apartment, or at least the hole where it used to be, and took of her mask. She yawned and jumped on the couch. Ben wasn't here at the moment so he couldn't care if she slept in her costume or not. It was her choice not his. After all, who's gonna just waltz in here and see her?

Josh soon fell asleep.

*****************

Ben smiled as he laughed and joked while he walked alongside Desiree late at night. Or rather early that morning. He and her had been out all night. And since they were closest to Ben's apartment they decided that they could stay there. Ben didn't want Desiree to walk all the way home by herself so he offered her to stay on the couch or something till daylight. He had really opened up a lot to the woman and he could seriously see a future with her. He hadn't opened up enough to tell her however that he was Spider Man. Or at least one of them.

He put his key into the keyhole and unlocked the door. Desiree was a lot more calm and less bold when with him and he really liked that side of her. He opened the door and motioned for his girlfriend to enter. She smiled at him and did just that.

Ben pocketed his key and followed after her. However she had stopped right in the doorway and was just staring inside the apartment. Ben noticed that she had a look of shock on her face. "I know it's not the greatest Des, but something happened a while back and the apartment was trashed." Desiree still just stood there and looked. Ben followed her gaze and then gasped at what he saw. Josh was lying on the couch in his girl form, which was not out of the ordinary but she was wearing her Spider Girl uniform, with the mask OFF!

"Sp...Sp...Spider GIRL!?!" Desiree said shocked as she stared at the alleged super hero. She turned to Ben. "Did...Did you know that she was...was...?" Ben smiled weakly and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand.

"Weeeell..." He began. Desiree looked surprised and then smiled, wickedly.

"You DID know didn't you!?" She said. "How many other Spider Men do you know mister Reilly? Better yet! Are you one of the Spider Men?" Ben looked around nervously and herded her into the apartment. He then slammed the door and looked at her worried.

"Listen! Desiree! You can't tell anyone about this! I've got a secret identity and so does she! We can't let this get out into the open!" Desiree looked happy with herself and jumped up and down in excitement.

"You ARE Spider Man!" She hugged Ben and then kissed him deeply. She pulled back and smirked at him. "Who would have thought that I'd have hooked myself up with a super hero!" Josh rolled over and promptly fell on the floor. The impact woke her up and she looked around drowsily.

"Huh? Ben? You around bud?" She then got a good look at Desiree and frowned. "Oh CRAP! This is bad ain't it?" She asked to no one in particular.

Just then the Lizard jumped in through the hole in the wall. "I've done it!" He said in excitement. He then noticed the situation that was going on. "Oops." Desiree then screamed and hid behind Ben.

**************

Evan came in through the hole that was once Ben's apartment window as Venom and looked around. Curt Conners, Peter, Josh and ben were all standing around a astonished Desiree. Evan walked up and smiled evilly. "Let me guess. She found out your identity eh Ben?" He asked. Ben nodded. Evan took off his Venom guise and just became himself. "Guess I don't need to worry too much about this now do I?"

Desiree marveled at the sight of Venom turning into an average teenage kid. She was already surprised enough to find out that Spider Girl was just a teenage girl, and that her boyfriend was Spider Man. The realization that Lizard was a good guy now and that they were all in cahoots with each other was a spectacle that she wouldn't want to change for the world. "This is all so unreal!" Desiree said. "My Boyfriend is Spider Man!" Ben smiled.

"I never really had too much of a choice in the matter."

Evan looked nervous now that his and everyone elses identities had been revealed. "She's gonna tell! Lemme kill her!" Evan morphed into a Samurai, "I will do the honors." Ben glared at him coldly, everyone else in the room followed Ben's example.

Evan shrugged, "I always thought that's what super people did when their ID's where found out."

Everyone groaned and got back to the business involving their now revealed identities, Josh was a little downtrodden. "Sorry about this Ben. I forgot you had gone out last night. What where you two doing that you came back so late?" She asked.

Ben and Desiree blushed a little. "It was nothing special."

Josh shrugged and got back on topic. "Anyways, Desiree, you have to promise to never tell anyone this! Not even your bestest of best friends. If this gets out than none of us are safe."

Desiree nodded. "Uh huh sure. Does the Spider Man thing run in your family Ben?" She looked at Peter and then Josh. "Peter's your brother and she's your cousin so...does everyone in your family get these Spidey powers?"

"Yup!" Josh answered her. "But Peter was the first to get them so it'll be a while before it's passed on to the next of kin hereditarilly." Desiree's eyes were wide with wonder.

"Coool!"

Peter looked at Josh confused. "How do you know this? Is it more of your future comics? You said that My daughter would be kidnaped." Josh nodded.

"Yeah, But then they put out this new series where May never got captured and she developed her Spider Powers in high school. Normie Osborn took on the role of green goblin but then he goes good and becomes May's best friend and love interest. You know how it is." Peter looked thoughtful.

"Maybe we won't have anymore kids. I already anticipated the annoyances of raising a teenager but one with Spider Powers would be nuts. Anymore would be more than any parent could handle."

Everyone laughed at that. Evan looked around thinking of the possibilities of a multitude of Spider powered people. *Hmm, Jackal didn't do it, but maybe I can. I'll keep this in mind.* Evan scratched his chin thoughtfully and ran some formulae he had learnt from Curt. *It could work.* Then he tuned back into the conversation at hand.

Josh noticed the expression of thoughtfulness on Evan's face and frowned. She stood up and punched him. Evan flew out of the hole in the wall where the window used to be and he fell to the street below. Desiree looked shocked.

"What did you do that for?" She asked as she stared at the hole Evan fell out of. Josh shrugged.

"You know what? You sound a lot like my brother in law when you say that. Don't worry about Evan. He'll be fine. He's got a head thicker than the adamantium claws on Wolverine's hands." Josh laughed and desiree looked confused Once again.

"What's adamantium?" She asked. Josh shrugged.

"Just something really hard. Nothing to important. It ain't cool if it can't break in my eyes." Josh then smiled wickedly. "By the way Des, I'm a lesbian and I have X-Ray vision. You look great naked." Desire covered up where her private parts were underneath her clothing with her hands and frowned at Josh.

"You pervert!"

Josh laughed. "HAH! You sound like my sister in law! By the way I was just kidding. I can't see through your clothes, though that would be nice." Desiree frowned. She looked at her watch and her eyes widened.

"I got to go! If I promise to keep all of your secrets can I go?" Josh nodded but Ben and Peter looked sceptical.

"Go ahead. Peter's wife isn't gonna care. She won't let him go out as Spider Man very often now that he's a father. My wife is more lenient though. My kids not due for another eight months or so, so I'm okay."

Desiree looked shocked. "You had a baby...with another woman?" Josh shrugged.

"It's not as great as you might think." Desiree left the apartment after that, dazed and confused. It would be a pretty big mindblow if you just figured out the secret identities of several super heroes.

****************

Electro sat in an abandoned power plant, random bolts of electricity flowing across his body. Stared down a small vermin in his lair. "Feel the undeniable power of ELECTRO, you dirty rat!" He yelled at the small creature, firing a blast that merely sizzled the tail. He then picked the rat up with a two handed blast and fried it to a smoking husk, "I possess the power of a livin' GOD!... Too bad I don't have the imagination of one." He mused to himself as he caught the crispy fried rat in mid drop. He thought out loud about bring Spider man to his knees only a short time ago. Then memories of his father abandoning him and his wife divorcing him all came back to him in a rush of pure emotion. Then he snapped, "NO MORE!!!!" the master of electricity screamed as massive electrical bolts flew around him. He released the energy upwards, causing devastation to the power plant he had taken up residence in.

Electro began hovering from the rubble on a wave of electrical energy, "I'll show them all!! I'll be the top of the..." Electro was cut off by a black muscular foot that impacted heavily with his face.

"Looks like your at the bottom Electro-geek." An overconfident Venom declared as he hovered in mid air, circling his hands around each other.

"Huh! I didn't know Venom could fly!" Electro exclaimed as he rubbed his bruised jaw.

Evan shrugged while he charged his electric bolts to a level thirty. "Yeah well you should have thought about that before you blew that building thingy down there up!" Evan than shot the blast he had built up at Electro. "Sides. There can only be one! MASTER! OF ELECTRICITY!"

Electro just stood there in the air laughing as he absorbed all of the electric energy Evan shot at him. "HAH! I made the GREAT Spider Man beg for his LIFE! What make YOU think that a SECOND RATE Electro wannabe can beat ME!!"

Evan just shrugged, "just a guess." Evan then charged up another bolt but Electro, sensing the electronic devices in Venom's hands sent forth a bolt of Electricity towards him, taking out the ionizers. Evan screamed in pain but soon got back up and looked fine except for the fact that he was now falling to the ground, very fast.

Evan impacted with the ground and created a huge crater. Electro flew down and grabbed Evan, who had changed back to his normal self, by the front of his shirt. "Your just a punk kid! Whatever made you think you could defeat a first class super villain?" Evan smiled just then.

"I didn't!"

Electro looked shocked as the Symbiote of Venom began to travel up his arms, locking them in place. "Ye see," Evan said, "My symbiote here has gained quite a taste for electricity." Electro began to tug desperately at his arms as the symbiote crawled across his chest.

"LET GO!"

Evan continued. "I didn't really have a whole lot of electric power though so my symbiote tracked you down. I agreed to go and we decided that we could probably absorb your powers. Then we wouldn't need the ionizers I built and we'd be able to control the electric powers better than you ever could have."

"Electro began to tremble as he felt his power slowly drain and his body become weak. "D...Don't d-do this...to me." He begged. Just as the symbiote began reaching for his face. Evan seemed not to care.

"Ah It shouldn't kill you or nothing. I'm just taking your powers. It's no big deal!" Electro then screamed in pain as he was forcefully stripped of his powers. Unfortunately these powers were a part of him so this was a bad move in Evan's case, because it was bonded to his very genetic code. When he stole that piece of his genetic code though there was a gap. And Electro died, right there in Evan's arms. The symbiote traveled off of the man's body and back into Evan's.

Evan, not quite expecting such rapid changes to his genetic code, keeled over in pain and nearly threw up. His Symbiote quickly healed him of his ailments though and got the boy used to the strand of DNA once it had finished merging with him. *Whoo! What a rush!* Evan thought. He looked down at Electro's corpse and shrugged. "Well my symbiote lied to me. That's new. Better not happen again though. Pete's gonna be pissed!" Evan then spun a web, sparking with electricity, onto a nearby building.

*****************

Peter Parker was currently in his Spider Man uniform and swinging through the city of New York randomly, hoping to find a trace of Electro. He was also thinking about how his wife would bite his ear off when she found out that he had left. *I'm just glad I was able to clean those grease stains off my costume.* he thought to himself as he swung. *Speaking of my costume, maybe I should make a few modifi...HEY!!* Peter looked off in the distance and noticed that there was a flashing light traveling across the rooftops. *There's a chance it's Electro!* He thought before swinging in it's direction to see.

Peter swung past all of the buildings in his way and leapt across the rooftops towards it. As he got closer he could definitely see that it was a figure and he sped up. Peter stopped on the building however when he noticed that it was just Venom. But this was different. He was sparking off strands of electricity in random directions, much like Electro usually does.

"Hey Spidey!" Venom called out to the wall crawler.

"Um, Venom. How did you get that amount of electrical energies so quickly?" Pete asked as he walked over to the large hero.

"Wellll. I kind of rid the city of Electro by stealing his powers with the symbiote." Venom offered a disturbing smile then mumbled, "andkindofkilledhimintheprocess."

Pete looked shocked, "You WHAT!?!" Evan slumped his shoulders in defeat.

"I killed him." He switched to a defensive mood, "I didn't mean to though, honest Spidey, honest." He looked sad and moped about the roof top in circles.

Pete was furious, "You guy's just take all the fun out of my day job! And what did you kill Electro for?"

Evan shrugged, "We needed electricity, the symbiote seems to like it."

Peter now looked angry and stuck a finger in Evan's face. "BUT HOW DOES THAT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO KILL!?!" Evan pointed to himself.

"It was the _symbiote_! He told me to! Hetoldmeto, hetoldmeto!" Peter sighed.

"What use is a Spider man when all the villains die out or turn to good guys?" He asked himself.

"Welll." Evan started, "Josh-chan has proven that Spidey peoples can be great Police men. And you would be the best... Tell Josh I said he was the best K?" Evan gave off another disturbing Venom smile.

Pete shrugged. "Yeah what ever. I'm out of here. I got to take May out for a walk, or a swing, I'm sure Mary wouldn't mind." With that Peter spun out a webline and headed towards his house.

***************

Josh smiled as she, in Spider Girl uniform, shined the NYCPD badge on her jacket just over her left breast. The police chief was impressed with her acts and decided to make her an honourary policewoman on the spot that day when she came in for training. She had elements of her police uniform on overtop of her Spider uniform and smiled underneath the mask as she walked downtown twirling a billy stick in-between her fingers. Her Perception point had allowed her to memorize the entire police training manual in a mere week.

Josh continued to walk until a small time crook ran out of a grocery store with a bag of cash. The crook ran right by Josh who merely reached out with incredible speed and accuracy and grabbed the criminal by the scruff of the neck. Josh lifted the crook off the ground a full foot and spun him around spraying two blasts of precisely aimed webbing cuffing his hands. Josh shouldered the confused criminal and continued to walk.

People in the area began to clap and Josh bowed for them. "All in a days work." She noted to herself before swinging away toward the police station. The punk who robbed the grocerie store screamed as he flew through the air with Spider Girl, he tried to pull a gun on her from his jacket but she grabbed it and put it in a plastic ziplock bag for evidence against him.

One week later. The chief of police sat in his desk chair and grumbled. His desk was literally overflowed with paperwork. He sighed and took a sip of his coffee. *That Spider Girl is one helluva cop!* He thought to himself. *she's already brought in thirty small and bigtime crooks in the week he had given her, her badge. She was still bringing in more too, and she always had proper evidence against them. He was actually quite amazed and was thinking of promoting her already. The only thing he didn't like about her doing such a good job was the fact that he was always stuck with loads of paperwork. It was actually quite annoying when she worked overtime ALL THE TIME!

*She's been going straight work without breaks it's both amazing and annoying. I need more cops like her, but less paperwork. How am I gonna get out of this?* He thought as he filled out another of the mounds of paper that completely covered his desk. *If I could find another Spider person that does work as fast as Spider Girl brings in crooks I'd be set. Although I'd be out of a job. Or would I...?* He pondered this for about an hour. *This is quite interesting. I need one more spider person. On who is smart, can do work with incredible speed.*

***************

Venom sat in the office of the police chief, "You want me to find a smart Spider person? IS THERE SUCH A THING!?!" Evan mentally laughed.

"Ok, you are annoying, just like Spider Girl said you would be." The chief said, "But can you do work like she said?"

Venom just stared blankly at the Chief, "Can _I_ do work _quickly_? Obviously you do not know about my unrivaled genius. I gave Spider Chick her powers!!!" Venom yelled, expanding his mouth to anime proportions. He then calmed down and allowed his electricity to sparkle slightly to confuse the Chief of Police.

The chief was obviously shocked at the flowing electricity on the massive black hero. "H-How...?"

Evan looked around, trying to find the thing that had shocked the chief, he turned to the police chief and laughed, "Oh the lightning! It's nothing! Just some borrowed powers that I'm keeping." The chief gave him a weird look and attempted to get back to business.

"So will you do the pap..." Evan cut him off.

"Have you ever smelt cheese?" Evan said with a serious look on his alien face.

The police chief groaned and buried his head in his hands. "Why me?"

"Well, cause your the only one here silly!" Evan said in a stereotypical gay voice. The police chief buried his head deeper, "Can I call you sally?" Evan asked in the same gay voice.

The chief growled and then Evan looked serious. "So do I get the job?" The chief screamed.

"YEEEESSS! YOU GET THE JOB JUST DO THE PAPERWORK AND GO HOME!! NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!"

"Then how will I know what work to do?" Evan asked with a confused look on his face, "And can I call you sally?"

The chief smiled evilly. "I'll mail it to you." Evan smiled.

"Thank you Sally." The chief then ran out of the room screaming. Evan's stupidity was getting to him. *My work here is done.* He thought with a smile.

***********

One week later Evan sat at home with a symbiote generated in and out box, the out box was overflowing and the in box was half empty, Evan was looking completely normal. He jotted down notes on the pages at symbiote increased speeds. *So far all super villains get death, all petty thieves get jail, and sexual molesters get sodomies.* He tapped a pen on his chin and smiled. "Justice is fun, and their all getting fair treatment."

Just then Josh came in through the window in her Spider Girl/ Policewoman outfit. "Sup Evan?" She asked before walking into the kitchen for a bite to eat. "Don't forget about poker night tomorrow!" She called out to the black haired boy while she threw together a sandwich.

"Well I've got more cash to lose. So I am looking forward to it." Evan said as he snaked a symbiote strand to sign another death warrant for a Super villain in custody.

"Where did you get the cash?" Josh called out from the kitchen.

"That job thingy at the Police station, Sally gave it to me." Evan snickered and got back to writing out sentences.

"What job did you get?" Josh asked s she walked out of the kitchen with a sandwich in her hands.

"Oh just some paperwork, only takes me a hour or so and it's good money." Evan said as he looked up from his work but the symbiote kept going.

"What do you have to do?" She asked, looking over his shoulder at the papers. Evan shrugged.

"I just get to decide all of the criminals that you captured's punishments and sentences. As well as criminals previously captured." Josh dropped her sandwich in shock, it landed on Evan's head, but he morphed and where the top of his head was, was now a huge Venom mouth devouring the sandwich.

"ARE THEY NUTS!?!" Josh asked. She grabbed some of the papers in the out pile and started reviewing them frantically. "Seems fair, Seems fair, Seems fair, Seems fair, Sodomy? Seems fair, Seems fair, Seems fair. Wow, you actually did a good job. Though if I were you I would change the Sodomy thing."

Evan shrugged again. "Seems fair! They get a taste of their own medicine."

Josh frowned. "They probably enjoy it."

Evan thought about that. "Good point." Evan used the symbiote to shuffle through the out pile and grab the Sodomy sheets. He removed the previous sentence, "Castration. Castration. Castration. Castration. How's that?" Evan said as he snaked another tentacle into the kitchen and produced an sandwich and held it up to Josh.

Josh took the sandwich and started eating it, "seems better, but the public would frown on it, make up something a little more PG-13."

"Oh, that's no fun." Evan held his chin, "How about death by stoning, and then castration?"

"Too primitive."

"An elaborate death plot that is easily escapable but somehow involves castration?"

"How about nothing even remotely like castration?"

"Hmmmm, It just might work. How about..." Evan smiled "CASTRATION!!"

Josh threw her arms in the air and walked away. "I give up! It's your ass! Deal with it! I'm gonna phone my wife." Josh then pulled out her universal video phone and pushed speed dial #1.

"Yes it is my ass. And a very fine one at that." Evan laughed and got back to work, "What do you think about ten years imprisonment and no chance of parol?"

Josh growled at the boy while she walked over to the closet. "Go with it! I don't care! I'm trying to have video phone sex with Kasumi!" Josh then slammed the door to the closet and left Evan alone.

"I guess I'll just use castration. If I get in crap they have to kick sally in the nuts first. Yes, It will work on so many levels." He nodded his head and thought of the crap that 'Sally' will be in. "Excellent." He said in his best Mr. Burns voice.

****************

Authors notes: {This chapter is kind of a filler. We'll be heading to the next universe very much later than you'd think. We've still got to meet all of the other heroes in the Marvel Universe. Let's not forget the ever loveable blue eyed Thing. Or the...uh...Thing. We'll meet the X-Men or something and maybe kill a few more villains along the way, like, every one we come across. What? What's that? You want to know why Evan is obsessed with Sodomies and castration? Well that is a disgusting and horrible secret that I, and you, hope he keeps to himself for a LOOOOOONG time. Let's drop that subject. Well if anyone has any sudgestions on what they'd like to see us encounter, just email me or put it down on my message board. Which Evan kindly put up on my website. I also sudjest you join his Anihigh roleplaying game. I'm playing a teacher. That's all from...wait a minute! No it's NOT! I've got lots more to say. Like this one time at band camp........}

Morden Night: anime_morden@crystal-tokyo.com

http://josh_vh.tripod.com/mordensranmapage/

(The castration thing is not a long story Josh!! It all began when... Wait, I don't even know it!!! I have amnesia!!!!!WHO AM I!?!?!?! WHERE DO I COME FROM!?!?!?! WHAT DO I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!?!?!.... um, sorry about that. I got possessed by evil demons...yes that's it....demons. Anywho! Have you smelt cheese? Cause I did this one time and holy crap did it stink!!! ok, so yeah. I think Josh has not gone to band camp and if he does the world will surely end. Damn those flutes. So about my online message boardy thing that is called Anihigh. Basically you can be a student or a teacher, you do things in a story type action. There are no stats or dice. It's all your skill in writing. So yeah, join it. I will include a link on this chapter cause my website sucks ass. So thats all of my ranting and being possessed by demons for now. TA!!)

Agasaki Ishano: agasaki@crystal-tokyo.com

http://anime_rpg1.tripod.com/Anihigh

(if you acctually want to check out my fanfic site try this link.)

http://evan_m0.tripod.com

(But don't say I didn't warn you of it's over whelming crappiness.)

(JOSH-CHAN!)

{ME-CHAN!}

(YOU-CHAN!)

{YOU-CHAN!}

(ME-CHAN!)

Kirby dance!!!

<("<)<(" )><( ")>(>")> <(^^)>

{We're done now}

(We are?)

{Yes. Say goodbye Evan.}

(Goodbye Evan!!!)