Self Insertion

This is a self insertion fic. It's pretty much me and my friend get into a Sliders type mix up. Cept we go to worlds like Animes and Cartoons and Movies and other stuff. Both of us are writing it as well so the Genre will fluctuate. Be warned, be afraid, be readin' my story please. And enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own nothin! Cept me!

* *: Thoughts

Capital letters: Shouting or loud noises

_ _: Stressed words

{ }: Josh's own thoughts

( ): Evan's own thoughts and location

Chapter 13

Enter Shadow Knight, Exit Guys?

Evan sat at the 40' plasma screen, high definition, Dolby Digital Surround Sound Big Screen T.V in the Specter living room. He nodded and turned to Marc, who was out of costume, "You have this big system, and you don't even have a normal Nintendo? May I ask why not?" Marc shrugged.

"I guess I never needed something to pass the time, I mean I'm always fighting villains and managing my own mega corporation. I don't really have time for the small thing like Nintendo." tisk tisked the muti-millionaire.

"Marc my friend, you just don't get it do you?" The man looked confused, Evan began to elaborate. "You see, video games are even played, not well mind you, by the Punisher and his aide Micro. You see, Batman probably played video games, Chris, you play video games on occasion right?" Chris nodded. "See. He plays video games. Buu played video games, of course Hercule exploded them with T.N.T but that's not the point, Ghost Rider I think played video games." Evan stopped to ponder this and Marc took advantage and cut in.

"Ok, first, I don't see your point. Second, who is Batman, Buu, and Hercule? And Ghost Rider? Playing video games? I think not." Evan waved a finger in front of the skeptical rich man.

"My point is clear, to catch up with the times, you must play video games. Batman is a hero in another universe that sucks. Buu and Hercule are anime characters created by that genius Akira Toriyama. And yes Ghost Rider, not as Ghost Rider of course but his secret identity which escapes me at the moment, must have played video games. It is only logical." Marc put a hand to his chin thoughtfully when a rustle in the bushes by the window caught the trio's attention.

Evan touched his chest and sharp spikes covered his body and retracted revealing his crimson armor. Chris did similar but became Darkhawk with out the spikes and with a small surrounding of purplish-green energy. Marc ripped off his outer garments and covered his face with his mask and hood. The window that had drawn their attention slid open slowly and revealed a shocked man in a rubber mask that had a gruesome elongated features and a red tattoo of a sort of arrow that pointed downwards. Evan laughed.

"Hey Randell!" He cheerily yelled as he approached the false avatar of Khonshu. "How are you? Surprised that we were ready for you? And don't you think your brother should play video games?" Randell looked really confused.

Evan nodded, "I know, it is confusing. How could a man live without video games?" the masked maniac just glared at Evan.

He swung an axe that he had been carrying at the crimson clad youth, who allowed it to glance harmlessly off his armor. "Not talkative? To bad, I guess I'll just have to spill your guts for you." Evan looked sympathetic to the man as he put his hands together and formed a large lance-like protrusion at the end of them and ran it straight through Marc's brother. "Well, I guess that didn't help you talk did it, cause I think I punctured one of your lungs."

Marc looked shocked, "H-How could you do that." Evan shrugged.

"It's all a mater of physics my friend, you see if I force electrons to flow outwards and happen to have an adamantium particle fused to that electron it will move with it to create this lovely lance type thing."

Marc's jaw dropped down, "You killed him. You killed my brother." Evan nodded.

"That I did, but it is for the better, now you can take his place because you two look quite similar. This way you can receive a painful but beneficial treatment that renders you invulnerable providing you don't fight Wolverine."

Marc considered this. "You still killed my brother, but I suppose for the sake of Khonshu I should receive this to become the rightful avatar." Evan forced the armor around his face down and smiled.

"Now you are looking at the good points, besides he would have crippled Frenchie, and wounded Marlene without any remorse. And trust me, I didn't like having to shed blood. It's not a favorite past-time."

Marc nodded. "Well I guess I should dress like my brother and head to that church of Khonshu."

Evan put a reassuring hand on Marc's shoulder. "And just so you know, Khonshu isn't the god of vengeance, you miss read it. He is the god of Justice." A beeping went of in Evan's armor. "Um.. Got to go. Have fun with Punisher, and keep this group going. It will get you two on the charts." With that Evan reformed all of his armor back to normal and ruched outside and took off in the direction of the police station. *Ten minutes to find Josh. Better make them count. Please be at the station...*

***************

Josh smiled as she locked up the last of the Avengers. "Not too bad." Just then the Police chief came running down the halls and grabbed Josh by the shoulders angrily.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!!"

Josh looked confused. "Meaning of what? Meaning of life? Meaning of pie? Meaning to get back to you but never returned your call? What?"

The police chief looked furious! "YOU ARRESTED THE AVENGERS!!!!"

Josh looked depressed. "Yeah I know, I couldn't find the X-Men, The Punisher OR Ghost Rider."

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ARRESTING SUPER HEROES!!??!!" He screamed at Josh. Josh smiled and calmly stated.

"They were breaking the law."

The police chief started screaming random Gibberish. Josh continued. "The Hulk was kind of a pain to catch every time he talked my brain threatened to explode. There should be a law against that kind of idiocy."

Evan smiled as he burst through a nearby window. "Too true. Now come with me if you want to see your wife again, we got three minutes before the portal opens, let's get back to the apartment."

Josh and Evan jumped out of the window and back towards Ben's apartment.

"AFJDJTAJTHHHHGAHHH JJAABBERWAOKIE GOURANGA KFDKASTJ TKDSRTKSRFTSD" Said the police chief.

**************

Josh and Evan waved goodbye to Curt, Mysterio, Ben and Desiree, Peter and Mary Jane. "See yah. We've got to go to the next universe. Hopefully we'll be close to our original." Josh said.

Evan smiled, "Doesn't next universe sound cool. Anyway, it's been fun. I honestly didn't mean to kill Electro, or put you half out of business Pete. Well, I guess that's goodbye from me. Don't miss me too much."

Evna then looked down to the counter and noticed that it was time to go. He pressed the button, activating the portal and then Josh jumped into it using her biggest Spidey jump. She screamed, "ROCKETS FROM THE SOCKET!!" as she jumped and took of like a bullet.

"Damn that Decency Squad. Well once again, bye." Evan was about to casually stroll through the portal when from under the couch came a black blur that latched onto Evan, pushing him into the portal. "PIECE OF SHIT!!!! Who tossed the poo at me!?!" Nobody had time to reply as Evan got sucked through the portal, and it closed up.

Just then Johnny storm flew through the window. "Has anyone seen the FANTASTICAR?" He asked.

**************

SLAM! Josh regretted her Spidey Jump. She had just been thrown into the wall and fell into a river unconscious. The tide then sent her down stream. Moments later Evan landed down on the ground face first, hitting his head off some sort of...disk thing that got stuck to his head.

"AHHH I've got poo on me!! And a frisbee!! God hates me... wait a minute... this poo is bonding with me... And there is a wussy kid standing in front of me, and I'm narrating myself.... And big monsters.... oh yes, Zoianoids I remember them from.... GUYVER!!!" Just as he screamed Guyver unit one began to move on his head, wrapping it's self around his head and latching into his skin, fusing with both the Symbiote and his crimson armor creating a large mass of energy, crimson spikes and black ooze protruded from every point of his body. He yelled in pain as he felt his brain become one with the control metal and his flesh meld together with the bio strands of the three suits. He collapsed in a heap of black, spiky, moving armor that had strands constantly running in and out of him, as if stitching the boy together.

The girl that had been standing beside the wuss, who's name was Sho collapsed at the sight of this and Sho almost did the same. Evan looked confused, "Excuse me wuss, I have three voices in my head, could you keep it down so I can hear them?" Sho realised he was screaming like a pansy and shut up. "Great thanks. Now what the hell are you talking about Venom? NO WE WILL NOT EAT HIS BRAINS!!! Yes Guyver we will kill the Zoianoids, now be quite and let me think!!! Crimson stuff I made, please calm these two down." Evan breathed deeply and noticed his now massively muscular chest. "Damn I'm buff. Wake up the chick so I can ask her what she thinks." Sho almost jaw dropped.

"N-No, I won't wake her up!! I love her!!" Evan held his gut as he laughed at the wuss.

"Ok, You love her right?" He asked between laughs. "Now wake her up before these friendly monsters kill her." Evan smiled in a twisted way, which was now the only way he could smile do to Venom's overly large mouth.

Sho responded to Evan's demand. "Now what?" He asked in a scared voice.

Evan put a hand to his chin, which he noticed had little crimson spikes on it. "Well, idiot, I'd say running is still an option. Don't worry, I won't tell your mommy that you were out this late. NOW GO!!!!!" Evan bellowed as the boy acted quickly carrying the girl with him. "Yah freaken pansy." Evan turned and faced the Zoianoids who had finally caught up to the Guyver unit.

Evan waved kindly, "Hi! Can you direct me to your intestines? Cause I think they are going for a trip soon and I want to say goodbye." Evan rushed the first Zoianoid and gutted him from groin to sternum, spilling his insides in a gory mess. "You there." He said as he pointed at one Zoianoid with large shoulders. "You shoot little beams out of there don't you?" The Zoianoid nodded, kind of nervous as he eyed his dead comrade. "Just asking." Evan swept his right arm in a broad sweep and decapitated him and two other of the monsters. The other creatures ran for their lives.

Evan sat down amidst the gore, "Basterds ran away. Leaving me with nothing to do. Stupid Zoiadorks, Kill them all. Then kill sho and take his chick." Evan nodded, "Yeah I'll do that."

Venom then spoke up inside his head. *BUT FIRST WE...EAT... THEIR... BRAINS!!!" Evan shrugged. "NO!!! WE...EAT..TAKE OUT!!!" Nobody argued and they went out for take out...happily ever after.

************

A busty girl walked by the river skipping stones, completely oblivious to the noise of the fight just moments before. "La la lalala lalala lalala..." She sang as she tossed a stone into the river, but instead of making a spash it made a thud, which was followed by a low, masculine groan. "Oh!! W-Who's there?" she asked the dark. Another groan followed and she noticed a man on the shore, face just below the water. "Oh my! That man is drowning!! I should save him!! Cause that's what it says to do in my lifeguard manual... or does it?" She pulled out a small booklet and started flipping pages. "Step one, make sure that the person is alive... got it." The girl cupped her hands, "HEY MISTER!!! YOU ALIVE!?!?!" She yelled at the body. She received a groan as a response. "I guess that's a yes. Next, take the person ashore and revive him or her... Ok I can do that." She grabbed the man underneath his arms and hauled him onto the shore, seeming to purposely hit every rock or rough patch of ground in the way to the grass. "EWWWW! Mouth to mouth!!! Yuck!... well I guess for the sake of this man." She bent down and held the man's nose in one hand and slowly brought her mouth down to his, just as he regained consciousness.

He grabbed the back of her head and muttered, "Thank you, it was amazing... I think." The girl's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates when she realized that he was awake. The blonde haired boy looked confused and looked around. "W...Where am I? Who are you? Why were you kissing me? Are you my girlfriend or something?"

The girl looked confused. "B...Boyfriend?" She asked. "W...What's your name?"

Josh smiled. "Jim...No...Johnny....No....Jill?...No that's a girls name isn't it...Joe, Jacob, Jason, Jeremy? OH MY GOD!! I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM!!!"

The girl all of a sudden looked depressed. "Oh you poor dear... You've got amnesia...I think. You're name is...Tetsunori Higashishima. You are my... boyfriend...aaaaaaand, you've been living with...me...for three years." She then muttered under her breath. "Yeah that should do for now."

The blonde haired boy looked happy. "YOU'RE RIGHT!! YOU MUST BE RIGHT!! You are my girlfriend after all." The girl chuckled nervously. Tetsunori grabbed the back of his neck and rubbed it... "But I forgot your name."

The girl nodded. "Oh yeah... I'm Yu."

Tetsunori looked confused. "You're me?"

"No my name is yu. Not you." Tetsunori, previously Josh, looked confused again.

"You're name is Tetsunori?"

"NO! It's YU. Y. U."

Tetsunori nodded. "OOOOHHH! Yu." Tetsunori then looked confused again. "We're we on our way to a movie? Or we're we just going to make out here near the water?" Tetsunori then muttered under his breath... "Ooooh Romantic."

Yu sighed. "At lest he's cute... wait till the girls all see the caucasian stud I bagged myself. A boyfriend with no memory... He's completely shapable... I can have my way with him whenever I want."

Tetsunori was currently walking around in a circle confused. "Where is home? Me tired. Head hurting." Tetsunori then looked over to Yu. "Honey? Do I have any hobbies or things I love to do?"

Yu began laughing maniacally.

**************

"Ok, first. Find Josh. Second, get out of here. Third, pick up. Fourth, play video games.... Wait, play video games first." Evan said out loud because his head had to much noise pollution. He stomped away from the Chinese restaurant he had just raided and made his way across the street, stopping traffic on both sides. "Damn Japanese drivers, can't drive with their squinty eyes." He turned to a car that just started honking at him and used his fingers to close his large eyes into a squint. He then started into a heavy Japanese accent. "MY EYE SOOOO SQUINTY!!! I CAN NO SEE ROAD IN FRONT OF ME AND HONORABLE CLAN MEMBERS!!!... why the hell did I just say honorable clan members?" Evan rubbed his spiked chin and resumed walking to the arcade across the street.

When Evan entered the arcade he got the response he had wanted, little Japanese children ran around him and between his legs as he screamed "I AM GORJIRAAAAA!!! FLEE MY WRATH!!!!" He started flinging electrical blast in random direction, and Sailor Moon video games.

Once the area was cleared he morphed into normal Evan and found, much to his pleasure, that the symbiotic voices died down, almost to nothingness and he was more muscular than he had originally been. *Damn I'm sexy.* He thought as he zapped a Street Fighter EX 3 arcade machine, starting it to the character selection. He picked Vega and started playing. *Now if only Vega had more chi control...* he thought as Vega took a full on Hadoken. *That's it!! I'll just re-program this game giving Vega higher everything, cause man Vega rules. He got to fight Chun Li when she was almost neked. He da man.* He thought as he zapped open the arcade machine and popped out the cartridge that held the Street Fighter game. He extended a symbiotic strand and began fiddling inside the cartridge. "Higher speed, Hadoken, electro claws, ability to deal damage equal to the number of electrons passed between Vega's claws and the person who touches it, and the game can now take up to fifteen players at a time. Now to hook up some other machines with the same control set up and get this show on the road." Evan used the speed of his Crimson suit to gather a few other machines and create a circle of machines, all hook up with each other through makeshift LAN cables, which he then fused together with the Guyver unit's laser cannon, (on the head)and some good old electricity.

"PLAY TIME!!!" As soon as he yelled this people swarmed the machine, looking for a joystick on the new Street Fighter machine. Evan, the only one who choose Vega. Won in a few seconds. He was then swarmed with fans.

"How did you do that!?!"

"CAN I GET YOU AUTOGRAPH!?!?!"

And other questions of the likes. Evan waved his hands to calm the crowd down. "I'm just a regular guy, I guess I got lucky." He secretly snaked a symbiotic strand into the machine and removed Vega's specials before anyone else could play and win in Evan's cheap way.

Evan waved and started to walk out the door when a large man with a badge approached him. "Sir, you are going to have to come with me. I need to question you about the events by the river last night, we have witnesses that say you were there." Evan Shrugged.

"Ok, chief." He said as the police officer led him away from the fans.

*********************

Yu walked into her house after telling Tetsunori to wait outside for her. She found her mother cleaning the bathtub and gave her mom a hug.

"What was that for Yu?" Her mother asked.

Yu smiled, "I got a boyfriend!!!" Her mother jumped up and down like a school girl.

"FINALLY GRANDCHILDREN!!!! You'll get married tommorrow." Yu held up her hands.

"how about next week. I need time to prepare. Wedding dress and all."

Her mother nodded gravely, "Of course. One week is fine. But I _NEED_ Grandchildren."

Yu nodded. "Ok mom, but first, pretend that he has been living with us for three years. He has amnesia so I can shape him anyway I want."

"YES!! The perfect man!! Bend him to become a house husband!!" Yu nodded.

"Yes mother. But his name is Tesunori, he enjoys cleaning and cooking, washing clothes, doing make up, changing diapers and fixing cars." Her mother gave Yu a big hug.

"EXCELLENT!!! You will be very happy."

Yu nodded, "Of course I will!! Now then, we are going to the movies, and I need a ring so I can propose." Her mother squeezed her tighter.

"The way it should be." She released her daughter and slipped off a golden ring with a small diamond and another similar ring that was a bit bigger. "They are both 24 carat gold so they can be formed to fit him. These are both from ex-husbands so I can part with them." Yu screamed.

"Oh mother!!" Just then Tetsunori ran into the house.

"Is something the matter!?! I heard a scream!!!" Yu waved a hand at him.

"Oh it's ok huneybunch, I was just discussing something that excited me, so I screamed with pleasure." Tetsunori nodded.

"Oh, ok. Are we still going to the movies?"

*************************

Evan looked at the obese police chief in front of him. "So fatty, what are your powers. Do you shoot lasers?" The police chief looked strangely at the boy. "You are a Zoianoid aren't you?"

The police chief's shoulders began to bulge. "So you know about us eh? Well then, you must die!!!" Evan laughed.

"On Contraire, I believe you will be taking a one way trip to hell. Enjoy, and tip your waitress." He said as he snaked a tentacle of symbiote underneath the transforming cop. He thrust it upwards, splitting the half morphed man in two and spraying blood on the walls.

"On man, that is kind of gross." Evan stated as he wiped some sprayed gore off of his shirt. "You Zoiafreaks are messy!"

He got no response from the dissected cop put up a shield of symbiote and jumped out of the window, crossing his arms a getting into a crouching position. Then, in mid air he retracted the armoring and spread his arms, creating large wings, and started to glide across the city in search of his friend. *Josh has to be around here somewhere. I have to find him, I don't think he has seen Guyver and won't be expecting transforming people to attack him. Better speed it up.* He sucked in the wings and started to web sling his way around. *Damn Aquatransexuals these days! Never know where they will be!!*

***************

Yu sniffled and blubbered as she watched the events on the silver screen transpire. She was clinging to her new boyfriend Tetsunori as she watched the chick flick. The only strange thing was that Tetsunori was crying as well, while holding onto Yu and watching the movie. "It's so sad." He blubbered as he buried his face in Yu's chest. Yu sobbed and nodded.

"Poor Kobenatsu. She left him." Yu seconded.

"SHUT UP YOU TWO!!" Someone from the crowd yelled in their general direction. Tetsunori and Yu stopped blubbering for a moment but then the person's on the screen got all dramatic as Kobenatsu got shot and his old girlfriend cried over his dead body and the pair burst out into tears and blubbering again.

"WAAAAAAAAAAHH!!"

Many people left the theater.

After the movie Tetsunori and Yu decided to go to a restaurant. "Where do you want to eat?" Tetsunori asked, as he held her hand while walking beside her.

Yu smiled. "Somewhere quiet."

Tetsunori stopped and pointed beside them. "How about here?"

"That's an alley."

"Oh yeah."

The pair continued on their way and found a nice Italian restaurant. They sat down and began to talk while they waited fore their drink orders to come. "I've had a lovely day today Shun." Yu said happily.

The artist formerly known as Josh looked confused. "I thought my name was Tetsunori?" He asked.

"EH!?" Yu stuttered. *Better cover!* "I uhhhh sometimes call you Shun, it's your middle name, we use it as a short form." Tetsunori nodded.

"Oh." Just then a waiter came up to their table with their drinks and set them down in front of them.

"What would you like to order today." He asked.

Yu smiled at the waiter. "We'll both have the number seven special."

"Excellent choice." The waiter said as he wrote it down, he then walked off towards where they guessed the kitchen was.

Yu stood up from her seat and smiled once she realized the waiter was gone. "Where are you going?" Tetsunori asked.

Yu smiled giddily and knelt down beside Tetsunori on one knee holding out a small box with a gold ring inside. "Shun, I can't tell you enough how much these past three years have meant to me... You're everything a woman could want, you love cleaning, you love fixing things, you love doing laundry, and you're so good with kids, you're also the most caring and wonderful person I've ever known."

Tetsunori smiled. "Wow! Thanks for clearing that up. I had no Idea I loved all those wonderful things."

Yu continued, gazing lovingly/lustfully/greedily into Tetsunori's eyes she said... "Tetsunori? Will you marry me?" She awaited his answer hopefully.

Ex-Josh looked EXTREMELY confused. "What's marry? Is it a good thing?"

Yu looked annoyed. "Yes."

"ALRIGHT! Of COURSE I WILL!" Tetsunori paused and then asked... "Uuuh so what is it?"

Yu then jumped into his lap and kissed him passionately. When she broke the kiss Tetsunori smiled. "That WAS cool! Let's do it again!" They continued to make out in the restaurant for quite a long time.

*************

Evan swung by the Italian restaurant where Former Josh and his new fiancé were making out, he looked hungrily into the restaurant. "I suppose we could use some food." The symbiotes in his head agreed with him and he walked in, just to turn around at the sight of some girl practically eating some dude's head. "Venom, I know what you are think and NO WE CANNOT JOIN!!! WE WILL NOT EAT BRAINS!!!! although I haven't made out with some chick I don't know for awhile now. OH MY GOD WHAT IS SHE DOING!!! INDECENT!!!" Evan started running down the street waving his arms and screaming random things.

Four blocks later he stopped, resumed a normal pace and began to hum. And kick every bum on the side of the street. "MONEY SUCKING SCUM!!" He sang in a drunken voice. "FILTHY!! FILTHY WHORES!!!" As if on cue a police woman approached him.

"Excuse me sir, but I believe you have had to much to drink tonight. I'm going to have to take you in." Evan looked suspiciously at the officer.

"You are one of THEM aren't you? I know your tricks... DIE!!!" Evan half lunged at the officer who in turn pulled a pistol from it's holster and fired one round into the air, scaring away some bystanders.

"Sir, do not force me to use more force than necessary!" She threatened.

Evan looked her over. "You know, you are kind of hot."

The policewoman looked a bit shocked. "That's out of order sir. Now come with me."

Evan looked intrigued, "TO the back of the cop car for loven? Anytime!!" The officer became confused.

"Where did you get the idea..." Evan put on the moves.

"You gave me the idea sexy. I just want to put it into action." He said as he approached her and started circling and checking out her body, which was quite firm and had nice... um, curves.

The officer was clearly flattered and put her gun away, but then snapped back to her job. "Sir please stop this, You're embarrassing yourself."

"Actually miss sexy cop, it seems I'm embarrassing you." He counter as he stopped circling and stopped in front of her. "I know you have a wild side. I just want to let it free." The female cop pounced the teen and started to make out with him unexpectedly. *Much better.* Evan thought as he finally calmed the girl down and started to kiss back instead of being eaten alive. Which mind you, he didn't mind.

****************

The waiter came back to the table that the two, now engaged, teenagers were making out at and frowned at the scene of groping and sexual inhibition. He coughed to get their attention, which didn't work. He tried again and the two barely stopped, but kept giving each other little pecks on the lips while the waiter started talking.

"You two are never allowed in here again!" He stated in a snobby voice, which was unheard by the couple that had resumed bordering indecent exposure.

"GET OUT!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. Tetsunori took a small breather and questioned the man.

"Why, we are marry."

The waiter growled. "I don't car HOW happy you two are! This is a PUBA'LIC PA'LACE!" The waiter then grabbed the two by their collars, and threw them back out on the street.

Yu got up casually and smiled. "Let's go home." She said, grabbing Tetsunori's hand.

"Can we do some more marry when we get there?" He asked excitedly. Yu smiled.

"Absolutely."

The pair then began home, barely noticing the black haired teenager making out with a twenty or so year old police woman. Tetsunori smiled as he looked back at the pair. "They're doing marry also."

***************

Evan recognized the voice. He attempted to stop the woman on top of him and failed horribly. The officer grabbed his hands and handcuffed them to a nearby streetlight. Only then did she take a break. "So, what's your name?" She asked.

"Um, I'm Evan... And I have to meet a friend over there... could you release my hands?" The officer nodded and undid one of his hands, dragging him by the cuffs to the car and putting him in the passenger side, chaining him to the doorhandle.

She smiled. "Hi Evan, we need to go to my place. And my name is Rieko." Evan waved nervously.

"Ok Rieko, can I go see my friend. I promise I will be right back." Rieko looked downtrodden.

"Please can you come to my house, we would have fun." Evan fought himself.

*Scoring is good!!!* Half of him thought, *Must.... Warn.... Josh....* The other half thought. "Look, I will MOST DEFINITELY return. I can promise on my life. But I really need to find my friend, then we can have all the fun in the world." This sounded good to Rieko, she unlocked the handcuffs.

"I'll be right here. Come back very soon." She smiled and waved as Evan started to walk/drag himself towards where he thought he had heard Josh's voice.

***************

Yu smiled as she entered the house. Her mother was standing there in the Living room waiting for them to return. She was wearing a formal Kimono and was smiling widely. "The priest is in the living room waiting." She said happily. Josh smiled.

"Why?"

Yu squeezed his hand and smiled as well. "He's here to marry us? Once we're married then we can kiss some more. Then we can do even more fun stuff." She said enthusiastically.

"ALRIGHT!! Let's get started!" The three of them then walked towards the living room to get Tetsunori and Yu married.

There wasn't a lot of people at the reception just a few close friends that Yu's Mother had called up on the fly. The priest was already half done and Josh looked confused most of the time at what he was saying. "Do you, Yu Kasunoramu take this boy, Tetsunori, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Yu smiled.

"I do."

The priest continued. "And do you, Tetsunori Higashishima take Yu, to be your lawfully wedded wife."

Tetsunori smiled as a pinkish blue energy started to surround him. "Sure... I do." The priest smiled as a girl with Brown hair tied back in a ponytail, appeared behind him, smiling.

"I now pronounce you two, husband and wife! You may kiss the bride." Josh smiled and then he and Yu began making out. The girl who had appeared in the mystical energy looked furious.

"J...Josh?" She asked, confused. "W...What's going on here? Who is that girl?" Tetsunori, the man formerly known as Josh before he developed amnesia, looked over to Kasumi as she stood there with a mortified expression on her face. Josh looked curious and smiled.

"Who are you? Are you related to Yu here?" He asked gesturing to the girl he currently held in his arms that was wearing a western style wedding dress.

Tears fell from Kasumi's eyes just as Evan burst through the door. "JOSH!?! ARE YOU IN HERE!?!" He asked.

Yu got a defensive look on her face and grabbed Josh in a hug. "Leave!" She said to Kasumi and Evan, "His name is Tetsunori and He's my husband!"

Josh nodded. "Yeah according to her I'm her husband, and my name is Tetsunori. You two look familiar though... do I know you?"

Evan gasped. "HE'S GOT AMNESIA!!"

Josh snapped his fingers and pointed at Evan. "Yeah! It's a good thing Yu here was with me at the time to fill me in on myself. If she wasn't there then I wouldn't know who I am."

Kasumi sighed. "Eight months pregnant and my husband get amnesia and then married to another girl." Evan walked up to Josh and slapped him around a bit.

"SNAP OUT OF IT JOSH!! YOUR WIFE IS HERE! SHE'S GONNA GET MAD!!" Josh stumbled back and looked confused.

"Wife?" He blink blinked and then looked towards Yu. "I thought she was my wife?"

Yu growled and grabbed Joshes arm. "I am his wife!! No one will take him away from me!!" She then pulled Josh out the door at lightning speed and disappeared into the night. "TIME FOR OUR HONEYMOON!!" She yelled.

Kasumi gasped as she watched the new couple disappear. Yu's mother started laughing maniacally and yelled. "I'M GONNA GET GRANDKIDS!!"

Kasumi growled and glared at the direction that they went. "Evan, if that witch touches my husband I want her to feel PAIN!!"

Evan looked surprised. "You must be pissed if you, of all people, wishes harm on another." Evan then began running around looking for the two. "She was going fast! It'll take forever to find them now!! I shouldn't have stopped for supper!!"

Kasumi smiled as she watched Evan take off after the pair. Just then her eyes went wide. The mother of Yu, her new rival looked at the girl questioningly. "What's the matter dear?" She asked a little bit concerned because of the fact that the girl was pregnant. Kasumi looked scared.

"I think my water just broke!"

*****************

*I won't let his real past destroy my only hopes for a future!* Yu thought as she put on a happy face and checked in at a hotel far away from her home. When they got to the room Josh walked inside and looked around.

"This place is pretty nice!" He said. He then turned around and noticed that Yu was taking her clothing off. "What are you...?" Yu, now fully naked walked towards Josh and pushed him down on the bed and started to undo his pants with much enthusiasm.

"Want to see something even better than kissing?" She asked.

"DO I!?!"

***************

Evan looked around the city of Tokyo frantically. He had already checked three hotels and seven motels, but he couldn't find Josh anywhere. "DAMN IT! I shouldn't have taken that time off to see the police chick!" Evan was getting frustrated and the voices in his head were all wanting to do one thing or the other, but none of it included finding Josh!

"That's it! GUYVER!!" Symbiotic Bioboost armor flowed around Evan and attached to his flesh. electricity sparked from every crack and crevice in the armor while tentacles of black symbiote flowed around him, with little red orbs poking out here and there. Evan's back morphed into a jet engine type thing and he launched himself into the air, his arms formed into jet-like wings and he began flying through the city looking for any sign of Josh, the moment he turned into his Guyver/Symbiote his senses all became increased dramatically and he all of a sudden picked up Joshes scent.

"GOTCHA!!" Evan cried as he launched himself down towards a large building that was a hotel.

*************

Yu screamed as a monstrous robotic creature smashed through the window of her hotel room, Josh was currently naked and asleep with a happy smile plastered on his face, Evan didn't notice his state of undress and grabbed the blonde haired Martial artist, with amnesia, throwing him over his broad monstrous shoulders and pointed at Yu.

"STAY BACK!! I WILL NOT LET YOU DEFILE MY FRIEND!! TAKE ADVANTAGE OF SOME OTHER AMNESIAC WOMAN!!" He yelled menacingly. He then jumped backwards out of the window and took off back towards Yu's house in the air.

When Evan landed down on the ground outside of the mad girl's house, Josh had already woken up and was looking angry. "UNHAND ME YOU VILE CREATURE!! LET GO!!" Evan set Josh down and glared at him.

"Wake UP Josh! You are not Tetsunishiki or whatever, You are JOSH! SNAP OUT OF IT!!" Evan then turned one of his arms into a giant baseball bat and smashed Josh over the head with it as hard as he possibly could. "Oops."

Josh rubbed his head and groaned as he got up off of the floor, Evan turned back into his human looking form and held out a hand towards Josh. "Hey Josh you all right?" He asked a little worried, but not overly so."

Josh then jumped up and started strandling Evan. "WHAT DO YOU THINK EVAN!!? YOU JUST HIT ME OVER THE HEAD YOU IDIOT! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!!" Evan smiled as he struggled to breath under the force of Joshes Spider Strength.

"Yay!...GurK!..you're back!"

Josh looked confused and dropped Evan... "Back? What do you mean back!?" Evan smiled and glared at him.

"You had amnesia for a while, you didn't know who the hell you were... why the hell are you buck naked?" He asked in bewilderment. Josh looked down at himself as he noticed that it was surprisingly drafty at the moment.

"AAAH!!!" He screamed as he covered his private parts. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TIME!!?"

Evan pointed to the house they were currently in front of and smiled. "Kasumi's in there, You better go in and get some clothes or something." Josh fumed as he blushed bright red and ran inside the house as fast as possible. People on the street were looking at the house in wonder as screams erupted from inside for a moment.

Inside Josh was having a hell of a time, he had run in on what looked like a wedding, and was as red as a beet. There were a few people inside but he couldn't see Kasumi anywhere. "Have you seen a pony tailed girl around with brown hair at all?" He asked a kimono clad lady. The lady nodded while averting her eyes from Joshes lower regions.

"Yes son... the poor girl went into labor when she appeared and she was rushed to the hospital." Josh looked shocked.

"WHAT!! Which hospital!?! Where is it??" The woman rushed over to drawer and pulled out a map. She pulled a pen out of another drawer and then circled a small section on the map. "This is where we are now. The hospital is right here. Do you think you can get there in time?" She asked. Josh nodded.

Before he could turn away though the lady grabbed his arm and pointed to his nether regions. "You should put on some clothes on first son, first door on your right at the top of the stairs, there is a pair of clothes."

Josh nodded and rushed up the stairs in all his naked glory. He got dressed as fast as possible and jumped out of a nearby window, spinning a web to a nearby building, and swinging off in the direction of the hospital.

******************

Evan looked around, "OK, I find him, he leaves and _I_ have to go find him _again_! IS THERE A PATTERN HERE!?!?!?!" He screamed as he flung himself out of the window, web slinging towards the hospital. *Stupid Josh! Strangle me! I'll show him!! I'll show them all!!* He thought, a psychotic look passing over his twisted face. *Oh look Zoianoids... WAIT!! ZOIANOIDS!!!* Evan swung lower to see where the monstrous beings where headed. *Hospital is in that general direction... zoianoids traveling post haste in that direction... Kasumi.* He thought as he dropped in on the group of zoianoids.

"GUTEN MORGEN!!!" He screamed in German firing a gravity ball, enveloping two of the creatures and imploding two others. "Wie gehts?" He smirked as he lunged forward, disemboweling another two.

"There is the target!!" One of the large monsters yelled, it's shoulders opening and firing two deadly red beams.

Evan smiled, "Ich habe vergessen mein vater in das tashenresner." He joked as he launched another gravity ball, killing the rest.

Evan stopped and put his hands on his hips. "Another night saved by me. Please no autographs." he flung himself skywards and attached to a nearby building. *This is too easy.* He thought as he skittered across the buildings towards the hospital.

****************

Josh ran through the Hospital frantically. Some of the people got a little startled because he was actually running up the walls. "WHERE THE PREGNANT WOMEN AT!?!?" He screamed as he ran down the halls. He bowled through a steward and got splashed by a cup of water that was on the man's lunch tray. This triggered the Jusenkyo curse and Josh turned into a beautiful female version of himself. He yanked the steward off the ground and glared at him. "I'M LOOKING FOR MY WIFE!" Josh calmed down and shook her head, setting the man on the ground. "Brown hair, pony tails, pregnant? Ring any bells?"

The steward shakilly pointed in a direction "Th...bu..."

"THANKS BYE!!" Josh then ran down a random direction looking for the pregnancy ward again. A few crashes were heard along the way as well as screams of: "AHHH NOW I SMELL LIKE POO!"

****************

Evan attached himself to the hospital wall. *Gotta find Kas and Josh, They might be in trouble cause of those damn Zoiafreaks!* He listened for a second, *Kasumi screaming two floors up and three windows over... COOL!!*

He skittered up to the correct room and ripped a massive hole in the wall. "KASUMI!!" He called, hoping for a response.

Evan came just at the same moment that Josh did through the doors. Literally, she went through them...didn't bother opening them. The large blue doors clattered to the ground and Josh rushed into the room to see nothing but a pink and blue glow surrounding the room. "KASUMI!?!" He called out through the haze.

It dissipated moments later and Josh noticed that all who were in the room were Evan, three doctors and two newborn babies the babies were being held by one doctor and they were all looking at the place where Kasumi was supposed to be. "What's going on here?" Onna-Josh asked.

The doctor holding the naked babies looked at the two new occupants glowing with bright red auras and decided to tell. "This woman came in... she was pregnant, she gave birth to twins and then dissapeared."

Evan looked shocked, "Josh... Your a Dad... Whoh...." Suddenly a shrill beeping came from Evan's left arm, the symbiotic materials gave way to reveal a timer. "One minute Josh-chan. Judging by the children's exposure to temporal waves they should be capable of traveling along with us... In other words, grab your kids! IT'S A BIG FAMILY ROAD TRIP!!!" Evan exclaimed as he pushed a button on the timer opening a large portal in the middle of the room. Evan made his way to the doctor and cradled the infants in his massive arms and created a small dome over them and turned to Josh, "I hope you don't mind me taking them, I wouldn't want your kids to get hurt."

Josh nodded and jumped into the portal after Evan. When the portal closed the doctors looked at each other confused. One of them took off his mask. "Did he say that that woman was a...father?" He asked. The others shrugged. "Whatever let's get supper."

"What was that pink gas?"

"You eat tofu again Richie?"

"NO!"

"You're lying again! I smelt it!"

"Hey whoever Smelt it Dealt it!"

"Whoever denied it supplied it!"

"Whoever whiffed it biffed it!"

"Sorry guys."

"HIGASHI!"(simultaneously)

******************

Welcome to Seattle. It should be raining. Certainly the man reaching upward thinks so. Though a sudden downpour might slicken his climb, surely...surely... it would cut the stench. For years, he has followed the infinites' trail of genocide. At the sight of the horrific culling a dim recollection stirs withing him. A memory of another time, a time of... of what? A feeling. He had a name for it once, but he no longer remembers what it was. Like those who order the cullings, he is not of the humans. The non-mutants were warned to flee. Most of them had. North america was no longer the province of the homo-sapians. Nevertheless, many humans refused to leave their homeland. And though he could not condone their obstinance, he finds it impossible not to pity them. He invokes a moment of silence on their behalf. "Josh you suck!" It does not last.

The man looks up as a scream erupts from a large blue portal above him, and as another scream calls out ahead of him in the distance of the dank dark alley. A figure fell from the portal, barely missing the man, but the second that came landed on him, rather painful was the impact. "Whoa! That never ceases to be trippy!" Josh muttered as she got up, she noticed that she had landed on somebody and offered her hand to the fallen man to help him up. "Hey sorry about that.! I'm not new at this but there doesn't seem to be any way to control your landings." Josh then noticed the familiar garb of the vagabond stranger and turned around just as a smaller figure ran into her.

It was a little girl, no older than ten or eleven. Tears ran down the girls face uncontrollably and she stared off in the distance of the alley whence she came. "a-HUH, a-HUH...They're comin' - they're COMINNN!! A-huh. They got momma, and Dadda!"

Josh grabbed the girl by her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "Listen... they won't get you. I won't let them... everything will be fine. I promise." Just then and explosion rang out closeby and the girl in front of Josh screamed.

"They're...they're here..." She said paralyzed with fear for her life. Josh held her in her arms and glared at Unus the untouchable and his infinites.

*Looks like I landed us in the age of Apocalypse!* Josh noted in her mind as she glared at the green armoured mutants standing at the end of the alley way. Evan looked confused, his symbiotic face showing his disorientation quite well. "Josh... where are we?" He whispered to his friend. But before Josh could answer one of the green trooper spoke up.

"There she is Lord Unus!" It exclaimed.

"Josh... They know we are here... I think they know who we are..." Evan whispered.

"There stands the Runaway Urchin."

"HEL-LO! I see her I also see that she has made some friends." The large man, who was obviously Lord Unus sighed heavily. "I ask you to do one little thing. Just one. I ask you to exterminate every vestige of human life in the area. I can't even get this."

"HOLD ON!" Evan exclaimed, holding back a battle ready Josh. "You said exterminate." The large, green clad man nodded.

" That I did, and you 'friend' are a traitor to your kind." Evan looked at him weirdly and turned to Josh looking for an explanation.

"This is the age of Apocalypse Evan!" Josh said. "This guy here is Unus the Untouchable, those other guys are mutants and they're trying to take over the world by force."

Unus smiled. "I'm touched that you know of me. I like the sound of the 'Age of Apocalypse' I'm sure my master will as well."

Josh smiled. "Evan, you get this girl out of here, I'll take care of most of these guys and once the children are safe you can come back and help me beat them up."

Unus and the infinites laughed out loud at the bold girl's statement. "A human! Beat US!!?" Unus said hysterically. "That's too funny!" Before Unus could say any more a flying kick caught him in the face and sent him flying towards a brick wall, which he crashed through like rice paper."

"Normal human? I think not!" Josh smiled as she got in a martial arts stance." Unus growled and pointed to Josh angrily.

"GET HER!!" he yelled to his infinites.

"Ok, _NOW_ You crossed the line! And I know all about crossing the line!" Evan yelled as he crossed his arms, extending two 5 foot vibro blades from both elbows, he lunged into the hoard of infinites, disemboweling four of them as he move the children into his back and protecting them with a crimson, adamantium shield. *Kids are safe.* "UGH!" He groaned as three other infinites jumped him. Seconds later a beam of blue energy shot up from the pile, revealing a blood soaked Evan who grinned maniacally. "Next." He smirked as he eyed the retreating soldiers.

Just then a grey blur, a blast of ice, a couple teleportation portals, smelling of sulphur, and a bolt of lightning struck forth at the infinites killing the rest of them. Josh stopped beating Unus bloody and looked up to see a group of well known mutants standing menacingly over the wasted bodies of the infinites.

"A little late this time aren't you X-Men?" She asked as she wiped some blood off of her face.

"Who are you girl?" Asked the man in red, leading the group. "How were you able to defeat these men so easily?"

Josh smiled at Magneto. "Well magneto, how's your son Charles? Rogue, love the hair, looks hot!" Josh walked over to Where Bishop and the young blonde haired girl stood shocked and amazed and wiped some dust off of her shoulder. "This is no place for a little girl. You should come with us, we'll protect you."

Evan just stared, he pushed aside a dead body and slowly made his way beside Josh. "Magneto... Saweet..." Evan looked around and noticed the team. "This is great. Sabertooth. Nightcrawler. Quicksilver. Iceman. Rogue. Storm. Morph. Cool... And some cute pink chick... and mini Sabertooth... cooler..." Evan listed as his symbiotes retracted into his body, moving the two newborns into his arms. "Hey Josh, you wanna hold your kids? Cause man they can kick! Super strength runs in the blood buddy." He said as he held the children out to his friend, not taking his eyes off of the gathering of super heros.

Josh nodded. "Yeah sure. "Listen, Magneto, we need a place to stay for... Hey Evan? How long are we here for?"

"Uh..." Evan takes out the timer from his pocket and examines the counter on the front. "Ah CRAP! We're here for a month!"

If Josh wasn't carrying his two newborn children he would have face faulted. She growled at the device! "Stupid inter dimensional time gate! Stick us in the most dangerous world for the longest time!" Josh sighed and then looked back towards the X-Men, Magneto in particular. "So how about it?" She asked, "You got some sort of X-base we can crash at?"

Evan looked at Josh. "Don't mock quantum physics." He warned with squinted eyes and a goofy smile. "So, Magneto, oh master of magnetism. Do you have a place where we could crash? Not literally of course." He said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Creed pushed past Josh and glared at The ragged man, "Enough wit the pleasantries! This guy here hasn't spoken a single word! What's your story!" He asked menacingly, grabbing the front of the man's rags.

The stranger responded with silence, pushing Creed's anger. "ARGH!! Boss! This one isn't speaking. If you want I could carve it out of him." Creed said with a sadistic tone.

Creed ripped the hood off the silent stranger, revealing a bald black man with a thick 'M' tattooed on his left eye.

"You..." Magneto whispered with realisation.

"Bishop..." Evan whispered in a similar tone. "Where am I?"

Bishop suddenly looked furious. "You... MURDERER!!" The dark skinned mutant then lept at the red cloaked rebel mutant leader in fury, his fists aflame with energy. "YOUR FUALT! ALL OF IT!"

"What?" Magneto muttered silently in confusion.

"LEGION!... WARPED TIME! KILLED XAVIER! LET HIM DIE!! Not our world. All TWISTED! Your... Your..." Bishop slumped against Magneto as the mutant leader slowed the blood flow of iron to his brain. He then turned to Josh glared at her.

"Now young girl... come with us. We have much to discuss. Everyone, to the compound!" With that Magneto spread his force field around himself and took off to the sky.

"Much to discuss my hairy...!" Muttered Sabertooth.

"You heard him." Rogue berated Sabertooth. "Let's go."

********************

Author's notes: {I like pie... that is all.}

(Yes, pie is good.)