Self Insertion

This is a self insertion fic. It's pretty much me and my friend get into a Sliders type mix up. Cept we go to worlds like Animes and Cartoons and Movies and other stuff. Both of us are writing it as well so the Genre will fluctuate. Be warned, be afraid, be readin' my story please. And enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own nothin! Cept me!

* *: Thoughts

Capital letters: Shouting or loud noises

_ _: Stressed words

{ }: Josh's own thoughts

( ): Evan's own thoughts and location

Chapter 14

Evan? Doing...STUFF?!?

Most of the X-Men were currently busy lounging in the living area of the hideout. Evan was currently sitting on the ceiling meditating... using his brain... whatever. Just then Josh burst through the door with a pack of cards in her hands, jumped to the ceiling and punched Evan. Evan took the punch but didn't move from his ceiling position.

"Um, dude? What was that for? I haven't killed your kids in my sleep have I?" He joked, rubbing his arm.

Josh glared at him and shook his head. "No... kids are in the nursery, chillin with Charles." Evan looked confused and Josh sighed. "Rogue and Magneto's kid." Evan looked like he understood now.

"Ooooooh. Soo what do you want?"

Josh smiled. "I just learned that in this world it's Friday... that means it's poker night!" Josh jumped to the floor and sat down at a nearby table. "Who else wants to play?!" He called out to the other heroes.

"Dude, I don't have money. An no _way_ am I betting my suit!" He said, crossing his arms and turning his head up... down.

Josh frowned as he looked up at him. "Okay than get some normal clothing off Magneto and play the way everyone else does! It's STRIP POKER TONIGHT!! WHOOO!" Josh looked over to Blink and smiled. "You in Blinkie?"

"Normal clothes!!... normal clothes, yes..." *I cannot lose.* He grinned evilly, "I'm in... As long as Blink is in too."

Josh was surprised when all the heroes had vollunteered to play as well. "You guys not have cable or something?"

Sabertooth growled at Josh. "The only thing to do in this world anymore is killing infinites."

Josh shrugged. "That's fun too. But poker's better. I'll deal."

Evan frowned and grabbed the cards from Josh's hands. "NO! You always deal! You always win too. You're probably cheating!" Josh shrugged and smiled.

"See if I care?"

***************

Twenty minutes later.

Rogue and Magneto walked down the hallways of the X-building, conversing about the future of their child. When all of a sudden Creed streaked naked past them and into his quarters. Rogue shook her head to get the disturbing vision out, Magneto followed suit. Shortly after the new member Evan ran by backwards, watching as Storm and Blink rushed to their quarters. Evan bumped into the master of magnetism and spun quickly, spawning clothes from his costume as well as his trusty katana. "WHAAA!! WHO GOES THERE!!" Evan screamed as the remainder of the team rushed by, some faster than others.

Evan held his head down in shame, "Uh, sorry Eric. Josh offered for some poker and it became strip and it went out of control..."

Then Josh strolled out of the room, laughing like a maniac.

"See?" Evan stated pointing his katana at the aquatransexual.

Magneto shook his head and walked up to the teen. "Josh, I realize that you come from another dimension, but this is serious trouble the world is in, and I don't want my team softened by your influence. Do you understand me?"

"Softened!?! Sabertooth can NOT be softened! Don't worry I'm used to managing a team... I used to be in a band. I played the drums. I still do. But it's been a while. I'd have to watch a pro do it for a few minutes. I won poker. I got all their clothes."

Magneto put his hands up to stop him but he kept going.

"Y'Know I wonder if I can do that cool hypnosis thing. Look into my eyes!!" Magneto looked at him for a moment. "You're sleepy, go to sleep." To Josh's surprise Eric dropped to the ground asleep. "HAH???" Josh said in a squeaky voice. Evan shook his head.

(You do NOT want to know)

Josh smiled. "Good one Eric. Wake up!" Eric didn't move. "Wake UP!" Eric snored.

"I think you killed him." Evan whispered in Josh's ear, loud enough for Rogue, the only other occupant, to hear.

"WAKE U P!!"

BOOT!!

Eric snored heavily after making an "mhph kay." sound.

"Yup, he's dead. How did you do that? Cause I think it was a Jedi trick." Evan said as he nodded and toed Magneto's head.

"Mhph kay." He said, in his sleep. He then added. "Rogue."

Rogue blushed furiously.

"PORNO DREAMS!!!" Evan screamed as he toed a bit harder.

"Mhph kay."

"This is cool." Evan laughed as Rogue shoved him aside and through a wall.

"This is _NOT_ cool!!" She yelled as she grabbed Eric off the floor and flew into their room.

Evan hand emerged from the hole in the wall. "It is to cool." Evan stated as he climbed out of the rubble. "Magnus must like em rough." He said as he dusted off his shoulders.

Josh laughed out loud and walked on his way to the nursery.

Evan waved goodbye to Josh. "Now which one is Blink's room?"

***********

Blink pulled a outfit out of her closet. "This one is fine." She said, checking it for rips from previous battles. Finding none she started to put it on, just as Evan walked into the room.

"Um, Blink? Are you here?" He asked walking in without waiting for a response.

"AHHH!! EVAN!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?!?!" Blink screamed, holding the outfit up to cover herself.

"Um... this is probably a bad time..." He said, blushing and averting his eyes.

"YEAH!! IT IS!!" She screamed, reaching for a quicksilver dagger. "You should leave." She menaced.

Evan eyed the dagger. "You wouldn't." He smirked.

A dagger cut through the air and imbedded beside Evan's head in the door. "You would... But that doesn't matter. I'm still alive."

"You haven't left yet." She growled, grabbing another dagger.

"No, I haven't have I." Another dagger imbedded on the other side of his head. "Your not joking are you?"

Blink growled again, grabbing a third dagger.

"That's a nice growl you have." He said, attempting to lighten the situation.

"YOU DON'T LEAVE DO YOU!!!" She screamed, releasing her third dagger aimed straight for Evan's head.

The dagger dug into Evan's skull. "Ouch" he said as he noticed the dagger in-between his eyes. He collapsed to the floor.

Blink rushed to his side. *Oh crap, oh crap!* She thought as she took the dagger out of his skull. *Why didn't the bastard just leave!?! It would have made things so much easier! He shouldn't have pushed me!!*

Evan tried to hold in a laugh and play dead as Blink checked him over. *God bless symbiotes! Thanks guys!* Some amused buzzes in his head told him that the symbiotes where enjoying Blink's confusion as well.

"This is bad!" Blink said as she checked his pulse, she jerked back finding that there was none. "Had better tell... WHAT THE HELL!!" She screamed as Evan's skin seemed to decay at an astonishing rate till he looked like a zombie.

Blink backed into a corner and drew a dagger, expecting the worst.

"Brains." mutter the corpse of Evan who righted himself. "BRAINS!!!" He screamed as he stretched out his arms hungrily towards Blink.

"AHHHH!!!!" She yelled as she tossed dagger after dagger into Evan's corpse.

"Mph kay... You don't have to go ballistic." He said as the daggers fell out of his body and he returned to normal. "I think you've been watching to many zombie movies. I mean it's not like I was going to eat you gray matter or nothing!"

Blink stared at him a held up another dagger. Evan raised an eyebrow. "You seriously want to go through this again? I mean I can only raise myself from the dead a few times before it loses the humor." Blink glared at him.

"It was a _joke_!?!" Blink yelled, forgetting that she was naked and stretching out her arms.

Evan nodded, "Yup. And a pretty intricate one at that. I mean putting up extra layers of skin is hard work, especially when you push so hard on my wrists. Shesh." He rubbed his wrists to show that it had hurt.

"YOU WERE _JOKING_!!!" She screamed. Evan nodded again.

"Morph would have liked it. I mean shape shifters don't lack humor like teleporters. I mean Nightcrawler was serious, your serious. I thought superior beings would have developed humor at some point in evolution." Evan stated as he turned his back to Blink.

"DON'T TURN YOUR BACK TO ME!!" She screamed.

"But your naked, I thought you might want some privacy, but if you insist?" He started to turn around slowly.

"JUST LEAVE!!" Evan complied, opening the door and walking out without question.

"That went well." Evan mused as he walked down the hall to his quarters.

*************

"Sinister!" Came a deep voice. Mr. Sinister looked up from where he was working at a large console and smiled.

"What is it my lord?" He asked the large dark figure.

"Are they ready? I feel the need to take evolution to the next level." Said Apocalypse as he stepped out from the shadows.

Sinister nodded. "They are complete. I think maybe we should test these on an ordinary human before applying them to ourselves though master."

Apocalypse nodded. "Indeed. I don't see there being a problem in that course of action. The least that would happen would be that they would mutate... Into one of us!"

{That's all I'm showing for the bad guys right now. Sorry!}

************

Josh smiled as he counted his winnings, which included several pairs of Mutant garments. He was currently holding out a pair of female underpants. "A pink teddy bear!?" She said as she examined the unmentionables. "Who would've thought that Blink wore those?" She said as she tucked them into her jeans pocket. "These may be useful later."

Josh looked down at the infants that belonged to him. One was a male and the other was a female. They were currently lying in a crib in the nursery that he was currently sitting in. She picked up a glass of water that she was drinking and then at the babies. "I wonder..." She thought before dumping the glass of water on them both. They began crying and Josh shrugged. "They're still the same.... WAIT A MINUTE!! They've CHANGED PLACES!! ARGGGGGEEE! I'VE PASSED ON MY CURSE!!!"

Josh looked at the label on the back of Sabertooth's and Morph's clothing and thought for a second. "Hmmmm... Fit's all sizes eh?"

**************

*Well I think that my little rendevous with Blink went O.K. I mean, I got to pull off a cool joke, see her naked and act like an idiot. Two out of three ain't bad.* He mused as he looked over the pack of cards they had played with earlier. *Josh must be able to tell which card is next, maybe I can do the same thing. What do you guys think?* He asked his symbiotes.

A light buzzing rang through his head. *Not much of a chance!?! I'll show you!! Damn symbiotes!! Think they know what they can do!!* Evan picked up the deck and focused on the top card. He squinted and thought about the cards, which in turn began to vibrate. *What the hell?* He said, not breaking his concentration enough to stop the vibration.

*This is kind of cool.* He thought focusing more on moving the cards around than figuring out which card was next.

Suddenly the card exploded into shredded paper and he felt his symbiotes start to tear away from his body. "YAH!!! THIS IS WEIRD!!!" He screamed as he broke off his thoughts of moving cards.

He breathed a sigh of relief as the symbiotes started to join with him again. *Ok, I just telekinetically ripped something into tiny pieces. This could be helpful on the battlefield.* He thought as he leaned back in his chair, reveling in his small victory. *Next test, controlling this.*

He extended a hand towards the ripped up cards and imagined putting them back together. Which to his surprise happened within seconds. The deck then proceeded to float towards him and directly into his outstretched hand. He looked over the deck, finding no imperfections at all on the cards he tossed them into the air and screamed. "I AM JEAN GRAY!!! BUT A GUY!!! COOL!!!!!" He stopped the cards in air and organized them into a deck, shuffled them and put them in the exact center of the table in front of him. "Very cool. Well I know what I'll be doing for the next two days."

***************

All of a sudden the doorbell rang. Josh looked up and was confused. "They have a doorbell?" He got up and opened the door a bit and peaked out to see who it was that rang the bell. Much to his surprise it was a familiar face of Gambit who casually smiled at the doorman.

"Excuse me homme, but I'm here to see Magneto. Can I come in?" He asked.

Josh looked confused and patted his kid on the back. "What do you need to see Eric about? Some new threat? Looking for that big crystal to save the universe? Looking to win Rogue's heart back? What's up homme?" Josh asked confused.

Gambit looked confused. He then noticed the child that Josh was carrying who was wearing clothes just like Sabertooth's. "Is this little Charles?" He asked holding out a finger to the little boy. Josh shook her head.

"No. Actually I haven't thought of a name for him yet. And he's my son."

Gambit looked flabbergasted. "YOU'RE SON!?! Ain't you jus a lil bit young to have a kid?" Gambit asked. "A petite girl such as yerself."

Josh shook her head. "Actually I have two kids. Their twins. I'm eighteen so why shouldn't I have a kid or two. It's a big responsibility." Gambit nodded.

"It's still a lil strange no? Where's Eric anywho?" He asked the blonde haired Spider Girl. {does whatever a girl can.}

Josh pointed down the hall to where Rogue dragged him off. "He's having sexual fantasies about Rogue over there. Mph, kay!" Josh then began laughing hysterically. Before the baby started crying. "These X-suites of yours are great! These unstable molecules are perfect I never have to worry about changing diapers when the little brats are wearing these. It uses the feces as energy and heats the suit. And it cleanses." Josh noted.

Gambit looked disturbed. "Since when could they do that?" Josh shrugged

"I just did a study on the suits after I won them."

"Won them?"

"MPHH, KAAAAAYYY!!" Came a yell from down the hall. Gambit looked up startled and then ran towards it to see what it was.

Just then Evan walked into the room, a deck of cards floating beside his head. "Um, what's going on with Magneto. Cause his Mph kay's are getting scary.

Josh smiled and then chuckled as screams and desperate apologies filled the air. Josh held up her son/daughter and smiled at, currently, him. "Why don't we get you something to eat you little bugger?" Josh then walked off to find something suitable for a baby to eat. Just then a Pinkish glow surrounded her and she smiled holding up the baby to her face again. "Looks like mommy's visiting." Moments later a young girls, who Josh recognized as his wife Kasumi appeared.

"Josh?" She asked. With slight tears in her eyes.

Josh smiled. "Hey Kas. Me and the little guys here were just going to get something to eat. Care to join us?" Kasumi smiled and then started crying. Josh looked a little confused and then realized what she was crying about. "Oh." Josh couldn't think of anything to say to that. Instead she just decided that walking forward and hugging her was a better idea. That proved to be correct.

"I thought that I'd lost them!" Kasumi said as she clutched Joshes, currently, female body.

*Woah! Too much emotion here! Time to defuse the situation.* Josh thought.

"So you already knew they were twins huh?" She asked. Already knowing the answer. Kasumi moved back slightly and nodded. "I haven't come up with any names for them yet." Josh noted. "I thought that you'd want a say in what we call them."

"How are they?" She asked as she stroked the hair of the infant in Joshes arms.

"Perfectly normal babies." Kasumi smiled but faltered when Josh muttered something under her breath.

"What did you say?" Kasumi asked.

"Hmm? Oh nothing!" Josh said; pretending, badly, that he had no clue what she was talking about.

"WHAT! Did you SAY!?!" She asked. Josh sighed. And gave up.

"Promise you won't hurt me no matter what?" She asked her wife.

"Promise." Kasumi said with a sharp glare that could cut through a human heart.

"They kind of inherited my Jusenkyo curse." He said.

Kasumi's glare turned into a look of despair. "My children are going to grow up thinking that they're freaks." She stated plainly with a blank look.

"No! No..." Josh said. Trying to derail Kasumi's train of thought. "It's better for them this way... This way they won't think that their father is a freak. They'll live their whole lives with it. It'll be normal for them. It's normal for me and I've only had it for a couple of years." She said. Hoping that it would have the right effect on her.

"But... why? Why didn't they come back with me?" She asked. "I never even got to hold them." She whimpered.

Josh looked at the boy he held in her arms and smiled. Handing him to her wife. "Hold him now then. I'm not sure why they didn't go back with you but Evan might. They're safe with me though. I won't let anything harm them. They're my kids too."

Kasumi smiled and they kissed lightly on the lips, with the young boy held between them. Just then Josh heard voices from close by and looked over at the doorway to the nursery. Evan, Morph, Iceman, Blink and Storm were standing there watching.

"Isn't that sweet!?" Morph asked.

"But they're both girls!" Blink said glaring at Morph.

Evan shook his head. "Not exactly, you see Josh is a boy, cursed by a magical spring so that if he touched cold water he would turn into a girl, hot water reversed the effect till hit with cold water again. So in essence this scene is completely normal as Josh is in essence a male." Blink stared at Evan.

"Whaa..." Blink's jaw hung open.

Evan put a hand under her mouth and pushed her jaw into place again. "Now Blink it is completely logical. I mean Reed Richards would understand me." Blink's jaw hung open once more.

"Who is Reed Richards?" She asked.

Evan again pushed her jaw up, "He just happens to be the greatest scientific genius in the universe."

******

In another dimension a red headed girl sneezed as she stood over a tank full of gray blobs of matter. "Hmm I wonder what brought that on?" Washuu lamented as she called forth her laptop, which floated in the air in front of her as a transparent keyboard of light.

******

One week later.

"So basically me and Josh do this weird phase shift based on a magical spell found completely by accident on the net. A bit of tech here, some magic there and poof, we become dimensional travelers." Evan said as he walked through the ruins of local city Blink had teleported them to.

"Ok, it doesn't make any sense to me." She said as she spun a dagger in her left hand.

"I didn't think it would. No offence. It seems that this sort of thing confuses the hell out of everyone I meet, so your not the only one."

"So, you just jump around and pick up powers and fight bad guys then?" She asked attempting to simplify everything Evan had said.

Evan laughed. "Yeah. I just that about wraps it up." He said as he put his hands in his pockets and shivered slightly from a breeze that had just rushed by.

Blink shivered as well. "It's kind of cold here." Evan nodded and formed a large tent.

He motioned for Blink to enter. She did without question. "Well, this covers the shelter from the wind part, now we need a fire." Evan said as he pulled out a lighter, formed of symbiotic materials. He clicked the lighter three times to no avail. "Oh yeah, symbiotes and fire don't mix. Um... toss me a dagger." He said.

"Why?" Blink asked, handing him a dagger before getting her answer.

Evan snaked a tentacle of symbiote out and gathered together a bundle of wood, some cloth and some rocks. He quickly organized these materials into a blanket and a makeshift fireplace which he lit by clanging some of his adamantium symbiote with the dagger. "Handy little things symbiotes are." He mused as he motioned for Blink to take up one of the blankets.

Blink crawled under the covers and cuddled up to Evan. She sighed. "This is nice."

Evan smiled, "Yeah, it's been some time since I was actually comfortable. I mean with people trying to kill me and stuff, you don't settle down much."

Blink laughed, "Well I suppose us X-Men could use some R and R as well." Evan nodded and casually slipped an arm over her shoulder.

"Too true Blink, too true."

Five minutes later heavy grunts and groans could be heard coming from a black tent. As two (horny) people on a desolate wasteland show their feelings for each other. Though really all they were doing was giving in to sexual temptation. It happens. Later on. As Evan and Blink lay beneath a tatered blanket Blink sighed heavily.

"What's wrong?" Evan asked, slightly concerned. *I just scored with a chick with pink skin...* he thought. *That is SO cool.*

"Do you think that this was a smart idea?" Blink asked. "Having sex when in the middle of a post apocalyptic war between humans and their evolved forms?"

Evan shrugged. "It was good for me."

Blink sighed. "Why did I just sleep with you?" She asked. "I could have done so much better. What if I get pregnant?"

Evan shrugged. "Then me and Josh will both be parents? Seems logical to me." Evan yawned and then cuddled up on a pillow made of symbiote. "Nihgt Blinkie. Get some rest. We have to get back to the others tomorrow. They're planning on some sort of raid on a medical facility that Apocalypse has taken over."

With that Evan went to sleep.

*************

The next day. Jos looked confused. "Where's Evan and Blink? They haven't returned yet." Josh looked towards his son who he was currently feeding with a bottle. He had lovingly called the boy Morden, with Kasumi's consent, and she had named their daughter Lilith. Josh didn't understand her decision but Kasumi said that it was a name that would give her strength on cold dark nights without mommy. "They should have been back hours ago." He muttered. "I'm not liking this."

****************

Evan groaned as he awoke. His eyes flew open and he stared in awe at the giant fortress that he was currently being held captive at. "This isn't the X-base thing a ma jig." He noted.

"No human. It is not." A booming voice rang through the room.

"Yeah, I just finished saying that it wasn't. Why are you backing up my point?" Evan mused as he tested the chains that held him to the wall.

"You are a fool. You must not know who you are talking to!" The voice stated.

"Well if you would come into the light I might be able to know wouldn't I!" Evan retorted.

There was a sharp laugh and a massive figure stepped out of the shadows. "I am Apocalypse."

"And?" Evan questioned, cutting off the immortal mutants dramatic pause.

Apocalypse's eyes flared for a second and then he calmed down. "You must not know who I am." He jeered.

"Why shouldn't I?" Evan questioned. "Besides the fact, your not that big a threat. I seen you get your ass handed to you by Archangel in the series. Ya pansy!!"

Apocalypse roared with anger and smashed the wall beside the youth, creating a massive crater. "You must have a death wish to talk of me that way!!"

"Actually I wish the X-Men were here to see you getting pissed off by a kid. I mean they would be shocked to spot your weak ego. I mean poke it once and you flip. Pussy!" Evan laughed as Apocalypse demolished the other side of Evan's wall. "You must hate architecture."

Apocalypse chuckled and glared at the boy. "It doesn't matter now. Soon you, and every other human will be one of us!"

Evan rolled his eyes. "Great! You're going to turn us all into egocentric maniacs with multiple personality disorders and no friends. You pussy!"

Apocalypse frowned and decided to ignore the youth's talking. "Mutants will rule the world young man. We're going to turn the entire human race into mutants with our new plan."

"I already figured that out! I was just making fun of you cause you're a loser. You pussy!"

Apocalypse twitched and continued, bringing up a holographic representation of a small robotic bug on the computer in the center of the large room. "This is a nanites. We've have injected these into your body and they will release a chemical into your blood that will trigger your X-factor and spawn a random genetic mutation. We will release this man made virus into the air and it'll infect every single Human in the world turning them into mutants."

"That's boring." Evan muttered. "Do you have to trigger it or do the bugs have to do it on their own?"

"Unfortunately the bugs take a week or so to find the right frequency of your genes to change them."

"That didn't make any sense!"

Apocalypse ignored and continued. "Then you will either turn or die."

"You realize, that like every single evil plot that you bad guys come up with, this one will be thwarted by the likes of some super powered beings that don't like what you're doing. That is what always happened. That's what always will happen. You guys need to think your plans through better. My friend arrested the Avenger by himself with nothing but a few webs and a pair of handcuffs. You're nothing compared to the good guys."

Apocalypse leaned in close to Evan and smiled. "We shall see young one."

Evan blinked and smiled. "That was a really good Hannibal Lecter impression you sounded just like Anthony Hopkins. Do it again!" Apocalypse sighed and left the room with Evan screaming in the background, "DO IT!!"

"I want to hurt Sinister for picking up this brat." He muttered under his breath.

************

All of a sudden at the X-base. The door opened and a battered Blink walked through. "Too many of them." She muttered as she stumbled down the halls. "Wouldn't wake up."

"What are you talking about Blink? And why is your uniform all crumpled and dirty?" Josh asked as he nursed Lilith on a bottle.

"Evan has been captured!!" Blink screamed, "And there is no time for explanations about my uniform." She pouted shortly after.

"Sure... Evan had been captured. That's pretty funny. With all those symbiotes not much could get by him." Josh stated as he waved her off and continued to feed Lilith.

"He was asleep."

"HE _HAS_ BEEN CAPTURED!!!" Josh screamed, upsetting Lilith, and Morden who was nearby. "Uh oh, kids mad... Um, go get Magneto and plan stuff, I'll fix the current problem here. Yes..."

Blink nodded and rushed towards Magneto and Rogue.

**********

"ROOM SERVICE!!!" Evan screamed into the cell. "I NEED SOMETHING TO DRINK!!!" after waiting for a minute he decided that he should probably just take matters into his own hands. *I've got stuff. And stuff can do things. So technically I could escape with stuff.* He thought. "Yes, It might just work."

Mr.Sinister entered just then. "No it probably wouldn't work." He stated, "These chains are adamantium, the rooms walls are lined with electrical charges, around the room is a post of forty infinites. Besides the fact we have Havoc just waiting outside for a bit of action. Mind you he is getting antsy to kill someone." Sinister laughed.

Evan shrugged. "No biggie. I could get out." Sinister stared at the boy.

"What do you mean?" Evan smiled.

"I mean I could get out. Or do you super villains not take words for face value anymore?" He joked.

Sinister snickered. "Perhaps they should have sent Beast, he might have appreciated your humor more."

Evan shrugged. "I suppose, But Beast would be dead by now. I know your powers and I don't feel like a long fight at the moment, so send Beast, I could use the work out."

Sinister looked the boy over. "You know my powers?"

"See there you go again, not taking my words for face value again! What is the point of talking to you people!! Apocacrap is just as ignorant as you are, if not more so! Just send in someone who believes that I don't need to repeat myself!! You PUSSY!!!" Mr.Sinister glared at the boy, turned on his heel and stormed ut of the room.

"That went well." Evan mused. "ROOM SERVICE!!!"

**********

Magneto sat in the planning room, the rest of the X-Men around him. "One of our temporary recruits is captured in the enemy stronghold. We must get him back." He stated.

"Mph kay." Josh muttered.

Magneto glared at the boy, then turned to Gambit. "Gambit, gather your exiles. We are going to need all the help we can get. And Nightcrawler, track down Wolverine and Jean. Thir assistence may be key in finally ending this war now and getting the boy back alive."

"Mph kay." Josh muttered louder.

Magneto glared harder at the boy as Nightcrawler and Gambit set off to perform their tasks. Josh smiled seeing that he was getting Magneto angry. *Heeee this is fun.* "Listen up Magnus! I need this guy back alive. He's my key to getting off this universe. I have 1 week before sliding into the next and I'm going to need the trans dimensional warp gate that he always carries around with him."

Blink smiled. "We need him back alive and fast. I, WE may need him soon, for something...or other...oh god." She muttered and trailed off. Josh smiled at her lecherously.

"This just gets better and better." Josh then picks up Lilith and smiles at the young child. "Isn't that right!? Yes it is. Yes it is. Oh sha Boh Oh sha boh boh doh doh. Oh shaboh bah day!"

Everyone looked at Josh oddly. And he shrugged, and picked up Morden, doing the exact same thing, except the child was drooling all over him. "It's so sickening." Sabertooth said as he looked like he was about to throw up. "The cuteness. Someone. SHOOT ME!!"

"Ah shut up. You've got kids you probably did... never mind." said Josh, realizing that more than likely if Creed knew he had kids... he'd eat them.

"Right LET'S GO!!!" Shouted Quicksilver , anxious to get out of here as fast as possible.

Everyone just looked at him. "Oh sha boh!"

"Don't even start!" Creed warned.

**********

Josh smiled as she tucked his children into the crib that they lay in. "Good night you little turd goblins. Daddy's got to go kill a bunch of bad guys." Josh kissed each of the babies on their foreheads and then turned out the light before heading out the door. She pulled on a blue and yellow X-Men uniform and smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror. "I'm officially an X-Man. Cooool!" Josh then jumped out into the meeting room where the other X-Men were waiting. "All right let's go rescue Evan!" Josh said enthusiastically. "And KILL APOCALYPSE!! WHOO!"

Magneto would have facefaulted, had this universe had the proper physics. "_Kill_ Apocalypse!? I don't think that that is possible!"

Josh shrugged. "It can be done! You just got to hit him billions of time in the chest and head with super strength lightning fast punches. I can do that no problem. So could Pietro if he had super strength."

The X-Men then all left for the fortress of Apocalypse.

**************

Evan smiled as Josh and the X-Men came into the room bloody and battle worn, except for Josh, and rushed towards him. "Took you long enough!" He shouted.

Josh shrugged. "So what kind of drugs they put you on?" Josh asked.

Evan shrugged. "Don't know, but they've been making my Symbiotes act up. They're going totally insane!" Josh smiled and then pressed a button on the control panel that released the bonds that held Evan to the wall.

"Meh. Think Apocalypse'll show up and try to stop us?" Josh asked.

Evan shrugged.

All of a sudden the room became airtight and all the doors closed and locked behind them. Wolverine and the Exiles were also there. "Crap!" Muttered Josh. "Now they're going to do something stupid and Cliche!" She groaned.

Evan nodded. "Fraid so!"

A view of Mr. Sinister came up on a video screen and his voice came through speakers. "Welcome X-Men! After we heard that you were coming we decided to try out our new Nanites on you, as use them to turn you to our side!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" He laughed maniacally. He then pressed a button and a gas-like substance started spraying out from the vents. Josh sighed.

"Evan... What do these nanites do?"

Evan shrugged again. "Nothing big. They trigger random, spontaneous genetic mutations in ordinary humans and increase the control and powers of mutants. He actually doesn't have the right technology to change us to bad guys. He hasn't had enough time to do that."

"Oh so we're fine then?"

Evan nodded. "Yeah. He's just going to end up giving each of us the abilities to kill Apocalypse bare handed."

"That's nice."

"Yeah."

The other X-Men didn't hear this conversation and were trying to find a way out while they held their breath, trying to keep the nanites out. It was useless however and the nanites just got in through the skin and any other open orifice. Josh and Evan just stood there waiting.

"We have to get out of here." Rogue said desperately.

"WE CAN'T NOT EVEN I HAVE THE STRENGTH TO OPEN THESE DOORS!!" Creed shouted and he got engulfed by the nanite clouds.

Blink rushed over and hugged Evan. "I won't port OUT!! NOT WITHOUT YOU!!" She said as she held onto Evan. Evan smiled.

"You don't have to. The gas is dissipating." Blink looked around and noticed that the gas was seeping into all of the X-Men's skin. She sighed in relief and hugged Evan again.

Evan smiled *Oh, I da man.* he thought. "So, any suggestions on how we leave?" He asked, still holding Blink in his arms.

"We could port out." Blink suggested.

"Can you port the whole team? Or would you need more time?" Evan asked looking around at the rest of the team. "Cause we have Nightcrawler here too, so he might be able to help."

Nightcrawler laughed, "Unless you are wanting some pain mein freund, I would suggest Blink, and she has the capabilities to get us all out of here."

"Well that works, why didn't you just do that in the first place, instead of getting everyone here. Doesn't that make sense?" Evan questioned, looking for the logic in bringing the worlds only chance all to the same spot where Apocalypse was.

"It was a desperate situation, we don't always think everything through till we get there." Eric said, slightly ashamed at his error.

"Yeah well, it worked. No casualties except for the bad guys right?" Evan asked, counting up the team members.

Eric smiled slightly, "We are all accounted for, slight injuries but no casualties." He said, seeming like he was reporting.

"Then let's go, leave no man behind Blink. We gotta go home!" Evan said as he gave Blink a kiss.

A quick instant later the team, the Externals and Wolverine and Jean Gray were standing in the planning room of the X-men hide out. "Cool, making out and teleporting do mix!!" Evan cheered as he sat in a nearby chair, Blink sat down on his lap.

"Yeah, it was pretty cool." She commented.

*************

One week later.

(In the Adam Sandler 'hot water burn the baby' voice.)

Evan embraced Blink, "Well, It's time to go. I got something for you." He said as he pulled out a small cell phone type device. "We can talk on this." He said, handing it to her.

Blink hugged him tight. "Thanks! This has been the best month of my life." She said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

A few feet away Josh was saying his own goodbyes as Evan and Blink started to make out.

"See you later Magneto." Josh said, extending a hand to the master of magnetism who accepted it and shook it firmly.

"It's been interesting fighting with you. I hope I can one day find another fighter as skilled as you and your friend.

Josh shook his head and chuckled. "I don't think you'll have to worry about that. You have all the power you'll need. Especially after, we trashed Apocalypses crib. He'll be pissed but you'll be fine."

Magneto nodded and shook his hand again.

Evan pulled the Transdimensional Warp gate wormhole opener device thingy from his pocket and pressed the button. The blueish portal opened up and they jumped through the gate. Josh carrying his two kids through as well. "HERE WE GOOOO" Josh said in a Mario like voice. Moments later the gate closed and they were gone.

****************

Author's notes: {We skipped weeks a lot didn't we? Well it was fun any way. In the next episode we'll do stuff but I won't tell you what cause you'll have to read the next chapter to find out what happens next. BWA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!}

(What my friend here is saying is, we honestly have no clue as to what is going on. You can tell from the long exaggerated laugh. Anywho, Magneto is strange. Mph kay. I'm addict to gelato. Which is Italian ice cream from you who don't know. Yes and now I'm an alcoholic in real life, not just in the fic. I went to Italy for nine days and it was all wine and Heineken, god bless Heineken.)

{I don't like alcohol at all. I've never touched the stuff and never will. I also will never touch Drugs, cigarettes or coffee. Coffee is a drug as well. If you've ever seen that horrible show Gilmore Girls you'd realize how addicting that shit is. IT'S ALL THEY DRINK!!! They don't say "Lorely would you like some water? Milk? Fruit juice? BEER!?!?!?" NOOOO!!! It's "I'll go get some coffee without asking because I know how hoplessly addicted you, I and the entire town is to this black ass dribble liquid." My Mom and sister watch this show religiously. It's really sad. They kicked me of HANNIBAL When I was in the MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE!!! Justr so they could watch Gilmore Girls. I want those horrible actors to DIE!!!}

Heavy breathing.

{Okay I'm done.}

(Dude, you could use some coffee.)

{AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"