Self Insertion

Disclaimer: You should know the drill by now. Sides... I've got one on the main page.

You should know all the rest that come after as well. If you've read THIS far!

Chapter 16

Josh smiled as she looked over the abandoned warehouse that she and Evan were standing in front of. She recognized it immediately from back in her home dimension when she would read the Crimson comics. She smiled and walked towards it. "What do you think Evan? Think this would be a good place to have as our secret hideout?"

Evan looked at it confused and he put his hand on his chin thoughtfully. "It could use some fixing up... maybe some blinds?"

Josh shook her head and smiled as she stared up at the building. "No... it's got to look abandoned. This will bring some fun times."

Evan smiled. "I suppose, the height is good. I could pick off some vamps from there. Plus it looks like it has enough room to house some equipment so I can work on some items of mass destruction necessary for the job of an inter dimensional assassin, and hey. I might be able to whip together some anti vamp stuff for you, except you have to deal with the silver and garlic." He said as he walked up to the entrance of the warehouse.

Josh shrugged and walked towards the withered and decayed entrance. "Sure whatever."

Evan pushed open the door. "Not a bad place indeed." He said as he walked into the middle of the vast warehouse and drew a circle around himself. "Got to summon some furniture. Any preferences?"

Josh shrugged. "I don't care... just make it look futuristic and badass inside. It's gotta look like complete crap on the outside." She said before jumping top the roof of the rat infested building.

"Meh." Evan said as he cracked his knuckles and closed his eyes. He muttered a few jibberish words and instantly a large stainless steel counter a bit higher than waist height. "Work desk. Check. About twenty feet longer please." As he spoke this the counter expanded to 30 feet long from it's original ten foot long state.

Evan smiled as he motioned a hand behind himself and sat down in a metallic, unstable molecule chair that had formed only seconds ago behind him. "There's my section. Josh-chan wants futuristic..." Evan waved a hand at the wall to the right of him and more of the unstable molecule furniture started to appear, along with a small sword rack with Evan's four katana in it. "Just like home... Or as close to it as I'm going to get for a while." He mused as he did the same to the left wall, just with an empty sword rack. "And Josh's side is complete. Time for my weapon works." He said as he dumped his ill gotten weapons on the stainless steel counter in front of him and began tinkering with them, summoning and unsummoning the required tools.

Meanwhile Josh was sitting on the roof of the warehouse smiling. A pink glow surrounded and as usual his wife Kasumi appeared on the roof with him. Josh smiled up at her and twiddled his fingers very Homer Simpsonishly as he noticed the picnic basket she was carrying. "Oooh home cooking!" He said opening up the basket lid and peeking inside. "You made curry!" Josh then smiled lovingly at her. "That's why I love you so much!" Kasumi smiled.

"I aim to please."

***************

Three days later. Josh growled as he stared at Liseth darkly. She coughed up a mouth ful of blood and then fell to the floor Unconscious. Evan stared down the immortal. "You hurt my friend you _whore_!!!" He said as he formed a axe of purified lava. "Catch!" He said as he tossed the axe.

Liseth leapt aside, missing the axe by inches. "Close. But now it's my turn!" She screamed as she slammed Evan into a nearby brick wall.

Evan's shoulder impacted heavily with the wall. He grunted as he slid down the concrete barrier, "Eat furniture!!!" He yelled as a chesterfield came up out of the ground and attacked Liseth by slamming itself into her ribs. "May I add it is

urethane polished." Liseth screamed as a part of the chesterfield's wooden frame stabbed into her chest.

"N-NO!!!" Liseth stuttered as she slowly began to turn to dust.

"Y-Y-Y-YES!!!" Evan retorted. "SPIT IT OUT WOMAN!!" He screamed at the pile of dust formerly known as Liseth. "Cool. I killed the Queen of the Damned with a damned piece of furniture. That's one for the history books." He said as he reached into his pocket to get the inter dimensional shifting device.

Evan looked over the completely trashed piece of machinery which was sparking randomly. "Crappy. Now I have to fix this crap machine." He said just as a large spark shot up, almost as a retort to his comments. "STUPID MACHINE!! SHOCK ME!!!" He screamed as he launched the machine at the ground with full vampiric and nanite induced strength. The Quantum flux generator sparked one more and then erupted a shockwave of temporal energy engulfing Josh, and Evan.

**************

Goku, Vegeta, Piccolo, and Gohan stood around a hole in the second level of Bibidi's fortress. Gohan was currently stretching, preparing for his upcoming fight with a demon under the mage's control. "You ready..." Goku started before a strange force overcame him.

"Kakorotte? What is...." The Saiyan prince started before a similar force overcame him.

"You two are..." Piccolo stated, turning his head to the side as another force rushed over him.

Evan stared around at the familiar scene. "I know this place... It's all coming back to me... but where is Vegeta? Stupid Saiyan bastard." Evan said shaking his head, his now long, spiked hair waving with his head. One strand brushed over his eyes. "Wait a second..." Evan said as he looked down on his blue jumpsuit, white gloves and boots. *Intrigue. * He thought. *But only one way to test my theory.* He flexed his forearms and waves of ki rushed through him, his hair changing from pitch black to a golden yellow. "Bitchin!!"

Josh looked around confused. "What the HELL!?!" He said as he looked around. He noticed a guy with golden hair and gay looking blue jumpsuit. "Hey that looks like Vegeta." He stated and pointed at Evan's new form. He then looked down at himself as he noticed his voice was different. "Orange!?!" He stated as he looked at the gayly colored ghi. "I look HORRIBLE in orange"

Vegeta glared at Goku/Josh. "HEY CARROT!! I am SO much stronger than you! And to prove it I will get a number four dragon ball and crush it. CAUSE IT CONTAINS YOUR GRANDFATHER'S SOUL!!!"

Josh looked confused. "Carrot? Dragon ball? Grandfather? Dragon ball? Dragon ball? What's going ON HERE!?!?"

'A strange turn of events this is..indeed...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?! Am I freaking sick or something, for the love of frogs everywhere, why the hell am I green!?! Dra...drag...dragonball? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!" Paul/Piccolo screamed. He decided to look around a bit, just to understand...as was the popular method of discovery at the time.

Vegeta struck a dramatic Sailor Moonesque pose. "JOSH!!! IN THE NAME OF THE MOON!!! I THINK IT'S YOU!!!!" Evan/Vegeta screamed as he formed an invisible ki barrier just in case his thoughts proved correct.

Josh looked surprised. "Evan? Is that you?" Goku asked.

Paul looked curious as he heard this. "Josh? Evan? Hmmm I've heard reference to these names in the past." He said as he stroked his green, namekian chin. "I have a few dead friends with the same names." he noted to the other two.

Goku and Vegeta looked towards Piccolo and looked confused. "What's your name?" Goku asked.

"I feel that I should state a similar request to YOU two! Am I wrong...........WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING ME!!!" screeched the odd and green biological superiority. "ANSWER ME!!!"

"Um.... right.... I'll just go destroy the world now..... OR I could start with Gohan. Yes... Gohan it is." Vegeta said as he charged a ki ball in his right hand and reached for Gohan's arm. "Come to Unca' Vegeta. I'm not going to hurt you.... much."

Gohan jumped back and got into a defensive stance. "I don't know what you are trying to do Vegeta... Evan... What ever!!! But I'm not going to let you do what ever you are trying to do... now...." He said as he became very confused.

"Well now, I'm getting a void of colour on the intelli-radar." Vegeta said as he allowed the ki ball to dissipate.

"Um, Evan......actually..is there anything past that...Because this would call for it...wouldn't you agree...um...Evan...HEY VEGGIE MAN!!! WHY are you STILL not LISTENING TO ME!?! I demand Recognition...um...I know some great stir fry...don't MAKE me FRY you, VEGGIE MAN!!!" everybody seemed to go deaf from the horrifically loud screeching of the green superiority, because-"Nobody is listening to me!"

Vegeta clasped his ears to drown out the screech as he approached the Namekian and proceeded to punch it (Asexual Namekian culture. This info care of The mighty Evan!!) into submission. "SHUT UP WOMAN PAUL!!!" Evan/Vegeta screamed as he stood over the almost unconscious Paul. "Thou must not mock the mighty Prince Vegeta!"

"I laugh at you, vile..uh...vile...uh...uh..non...uh...non-green biological inferiority...uh...HAH!" Paul/Piccolo laughed very evilly, as was in tailed in his preceding superior statement. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...ha."

Vegeta grinned his classic half smirk grin and began to laugh. "It _is_ Paul!" He said as he used telekinesis to remove a bag of senzu beans from Goku's belt and still using telekinesis force fed Paul one of such beans, Paul's energy returning to normal as he instantly regained consciousness. "Better?" He asked.

"The next person that tries to knock me unconscious is going to get their ass severely and senzuically kicked...wait a minute...uhhh...uhhhh...SHIT! I really have to work on the whole making sense thing." said he as he quickly stood himself up and brushed himself off. He scratched his head until it hurt. "OW!"

"Right..." Josh Goku said, who had been quiet till this point. "So I'm Goku and Paul is here because why?" He queried.

Evan looked at Josh with pity. "Poor, poor uncultured soul, you were unconscious when the wave went off, creating a major temporal disruption and sending Paul here into the body of the mighty Piccolo. You unfortunately got stuck in the extra bitch of this universe. Krillen being the first." Evan stated.

Josh/Goku raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Uh huh...."

"Basically." Evan said as he turned back to Piccolo/Paul. "So, you semi comprehend, or must I explain?"

*These people have definitely got some multiversal education to undergo...yes...I WILL educate them all..but how..how...uh...yes, that's IT! This will be a simple task...for an intellectually superior being like me, of course. *

Evan tapped his foot impatiently. "Any time now.... Aw screw it! I trust your abilities to comprehend my speech." Vegeta said as he reached into a pocket in his jumpsuit. *Weird, I retained my inter dimensional communicator... It has been a week.... Blink calling time!!!* He excitedly thought just as Paul spoke up.

"Who are you calling with your inter dimensional communicator?" He asked.

Vegeta's jaw fell open. "Wha...."

Paul shrugged. "That is an inter dimensional communicator is it not?"

Vegeta pulled himself together. "How in the seven hells did you know what this was?"

Paul shrugged again. "I just do."

Vegeta raised an eyebrow and looked over at Josh who was currently striking up a conversation with his 'son' Gohan. *Time to call Blink.* He thought as he began dialing in the dimensional frequency.

"You missed a number. You are off by .0026 hertz." Paul spoke up.

Vegeta looked over his frequency and nodded. "So I am... WAIT A FREAKEN MINUTE!!! HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT!?!?!!?" He screamed.

Paul shrugged again. "I told you, I just do. And try and call Blink in a minute, she's in the shower now."

Vegeta's jaw fell open once more. "You are bullshiting me.... how would you... never mind."

A few minutes later Vegeta called up Blink who showed up on the monitor in only a towel. "How the hell?" Vegeta muttered.

"Excuse me? Who are you?" Blink asked the new face on her monitor.

"Um, I know this will be weird, but I am Evan, your boyfriend..." Evan stated.

"Ok... how do I know your telling the truth?"

"Remember that time before I was captured by Apocalypse's henchmen? Right after..." Evan said with a smile.

"EVAN!! What happened to you!?!" Blink said blushing slightly.

"Long story. Um... I kind of need you to blink here... My teleporter broke, and me and my friends are stranded in other people's bodies... and I thought you could get us out of here." He said pleadingly.

Blink looked skeptical, "I don't think my powers include inter dimensional travel."

Vegeta smiled. "You were infected by nanites so you have had your powers touched up. Try it, lock on to me and send yourself here. The worst that could happen is it won't work." He said, his smile broadening.

"Ok... but stop smiling! This new body has freaky smiles!" She said, squirming slightly. "I'm going to try...."

BLINK!

Blink appeared inches behind Vegeta. "Now." She said as she opened her eyes. "Evan?"



"Blink?" Josh questioned as he stopped his conversation with Gohan. "How did she get here? Can you do the same thing for Kasumi?" He said with a smile.

Evan shook his head. "Not unless Kasumi is a mutant teleporter like my sexy woman here." He said as he hugged her lightly, so he didn't crush her with his vampiric/nanite/Saiyan strength.

Blink blushed slightly and gave Evan/Vegeta a kiss on the cheek.

"What's wrong Blink?" Evan asked.

"It's the new look. It's kind of weird... I feel like I'm cheating on you, with you... It's weird." She said, slightly confusing herself.

Evan looked over at Paul, who had fallen asleep a short time ago. "Any ways, that green guy on the floor is Paul. He's a friend from my old world. You'll meet him when he is awake. Josh is Goku over there, and that is one of his Goku kids, Gohan. He had a cool highschool year, he is a super hero."

Gohan gasped. "HOW DID YOU KNOW!!!"

"Easy. Gohan equals 'Great Sayaman'. Simple... or is it." He said turning quickly to face the half Saiyan and stare at him oddly.

Gohan rubbed his chin pensively. "Me... equals Great Sayaman.... what?" Vegeta ignored the boy.

"You know. I hate this guy I am currently controlling. In fact, I despise of him. But that won't stop me from loving my sexy pink woman!" He said as he kissed Blink passionately.

The two began making out like the teenagers they were.

Josh looked confused as he watched this. "This is different. Blink making out with Vegeta... talk about your cross overs that were never meant to be." Josh turned around and noticed Gohan looking at him. "What!?!" He asked.

Gohan looked up at his dad confused. "Dad? What's going on?"

Josh looked confused. "Dad? I'm not your dad. I... oh crap!" Josh looked around frantically. "Where the HELL is Morden and Lilith!?!?" He wondered out loud.

Just then a seven foot tall pink demon launched up a hole that happened to be in the middle of the floor. Gohan gasped as he saw the thing. "IT'S DABURA!!" The half Saiyan then began charging up a chi blast. Goku all of a sudden punched Gohan in the face as hard as he could. Gohan went flying through a wall and then minutes later came through the opposite wall.

"DON'T TOUCH MY SON!!" Josh said as he recognized Morden's chi signature. Gohan was really unconscious though and was bleeding from the ears.

Goku shrugged and hugged Dabura. "I was SO worried!!!" Josh said.

"Da da!" Dabura said.

Goku smiled ecstatically. "Morden just spoke his first words!!!"

"Huh!?!" Vegeta said as he watched Goku hug Dabura, who was in fact a demon. "W...Wait a second. Dabura is supposed to be trying to kill us."

Blink looked confused. "Isn't Morden just a little baby? How'd he get... seven feet tall?"

Josh shrugged. "Quantum flux dissipation. That's what I'm calling it anyway. The quantum energies of the teleporter were set off early and they weren't working to their full capabilities it dissipated our physical bodies and merged our consciousnesses with that of random characters in this universe. As well as pulling Paul from our original universe." Goku paused for a moment. "I'm hungry."

"Riight. So yeah, that works for me. Plus it brings me to one of the reason's I asked you to blink here. As I mentioned, the teleporter broke when I... Liseth... broke it... yes.... anywho, it broke and we need you to get us to our home universe, plus I thought it would be cool to have my girlfriend chill with me in different universes. So yeah... All you really have to do is allow my nanites to link to your nanites and exchange a bit of data and then you should be able to actually feel out portals to other dimensions." Evan said as he extended a hand to Blink, who grabbed it.

"I trust you Evan, but if anything bad happens... well you remember what happened in my bedroom. This time you won't have you symbiote to protect you." Evan grimaced and shoot a pleading look to Josh.

"Will Quicksilver kill vampires?" He mouthed before starting the link.

It seemed as though nothing happened in the short minute it took for the nanites to exchange data. Piccolo awaked just as the transfer completed. "Stop transferring nanite data. It wakes me up." Piccolo said irritated as ever.

"Oh yeah." Vegeta said. "Piccopaul can comprehend like you'd never believe."

Piccolo nodded. "And according to my knowledge, Q actually is the answer to everything. DO to the fact that Q is equal to every rational number and Q with a line over it is equal to every irrational number and numbers can be used to explain anything logical. Plus everything can be explained through some sort of logic."

Vegeta nodded. "We were right all along.... but explain to me how Snake Way works."

"Q" Piccolo stated.

"He's right!" Vegeta said shocked and amazed!

(Just so you know 'Q' being the answer to everything is a huge inside joke with me Josh and Paul, but I proved it in math class.)

Piccolo gave a short bow with a little smile on his face. "So we're in Bibidi's fortress huh? Interesting." He asked Vegeta.

Goku looked confused. "Hey Paul! Did you ever get that Diablo II trainer to work?"

Piccolo shook his head. "Naw it's a piece of crap. Lets go get pizza or something. I've got a lot of power now so we wouldn't really have to pay... we could just threaten their lives."

Vegeta shrugged. "Well, if it's agreed I could show Joshku how to use instant transmission, and besides, these people have an I.Q averaged off around the whole world of approximately 0.1"

Josh shrugged. "So how do I instant Transmit?"

Vegeta smiled. "Mimic what I'm doing." Vegeta disappeared after putting two fingers to his forehead.

Josh shrugged and did the same thing, only taking Morden/Dabura with him as well.

About an hour later. Goku smiled as he pat his belly. "Putting them out of business was very satisfying." He noted.

Vegeta and Piccolo nodded their agreement as did Blink, and Gohan who had recovered shortly after Piccolo healed him with a senzu bean. "Da Da!"

Goku turned around and noticed a giant baby carriage sitting by the window of the restaurant they had just exited. "Whoops! Almost forgot!" Goku then began rolling the giant stroller along with the rest of the group. "I wonder if Kasumi would let me lay Chi Chi since this isn't my real body." Goku wondered as they walked towards master Roshi's place.

Vegeta held a hand to his chin. "Hold on. I need to buy Porno!" Blink glared at him. "For Master Roshi!!! SHEESH!! I'm going to go through his crazy training just for kicks, and to do so I require Porn. It worked for Krillen the might bitch, therefore it must work for me."

Goku laughed. "That was hilarious! That was the best dragon ball issue ever!"

Vegeta looked over at Gohan and then thought for a second. "Theory testing time." Vegeeta then made a loud screeching sound and Gohan's ears began to bleed like Soun Tendo cried.

"AAAAAHHH!!!" He screamed as he tried to stop the bleeding fountains. He passed out moments later from blood loss. Goku pointed at Gohan and laughed.

"HA HA!! Stupid kid!" Just then a voice rang out from nearby.

"THERE YOU ARE!!!" Goku and the rest turned around to see who it was.

"Uh who are you?" He asked. Chi Chi stomped towards Goku and grabbed him by his ear. "DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME!! I WAS WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU AND..." Chi chi then noticed Gohan bleeding profusely from the head on the ground. "OOH MY BABY!!!" She cried as she bent down to help her eldest son. "WHAT HAPPENED!?!?!" She asked angrily. Glaring up at Goku.

Goku chuckled. "It's pretty funny."

Chi Chi looked furious, but Vegeta stopped her from going into a rant. "Lady, I know who you are. And personally, I would like to see you die. Now please take your bleeding son home and patch him up with some bunny rabbit bandages because he is making me hungry." Vegeta said as he waved the woman off and started walking again.

Goku bent down and looked concerned as he put an arm around Chi Chi. "Hey, uhhh, honey? Why don't you calm down and we could settle this over a nice cup of SEX!"

Chi Chi looked at Goku like he was insane, he was used to that look though. "WHAT!?!? Our SON is BLEEDING to DEATH!! And you just want to have SEX!?!?"

Goku blinked twice. "Uuuuhhhh... yeah."

Chi Chi reeled back her open palm. Goku ran to catch up with Vegeta. "SUCKER!" He said as he ran off. A pink glow surrounded him a moment later and a blonde teenage girl appeared a moment later. Goku smiled widely and then started making out with her.

Tears welled up in Chi Chi's eyes. "Oh no! A younger woman! How can I compete?"

Vegeta breathed deeply and spun on one heel. "QUIT YOUR BITCHING GRANNY!!!! YOU ARE A WHORE!!!! A FILTHY, FILTHY, FUCKING WHORE!!!! I AM GOING TO BLOW YOUR FUCKING, COCK SWALLOWING HEAD OFF IF YOU DON'T _SHUT THE FUCK UP_!!! thank you."

Chi Chi started to cry. Goku stopped making out with Kasumi and then looked over at the woman. "Awww! She looks sad. I think I broke her heart... I'll go cheer her up." Goku then skipped over to Chi Chi and picked her up. He then started making out with her overly passionately. Kasumi was glaring at Goku but he looked up at her and smiled. "Don't worry Kasumi! This isn't my real body. It's some guy named Goku's and he's married to her. This is perfectly legal... I think. GAH THIS IS SO CONFUSING!!!" Goku looked down at the wobbly jello like Chi Chi. "Hey! She

's kind of hot in real life! Who woulda guessed?" he blinked a bit and then decided to answer his own question. "Not ME! That's for sure!"

Vegeta nodded "I think I was a bit harsh.... nah. I'll just go make out with her...."

"HEY!!!" Blink yelled as she grabbed his arm and held him in place.

Vegeta smiled. "Instant Transmission." He said as he appeared over by Goku and Chi Chi. "HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Goku punched Vegeta and laid him out on the ground due to his super enhanced strength. (Spider strength times Saiyan strength... think about that for a second.) "Get a hold of yourself. Your married to Bulma."

Vegata's eyes widened as his friend and confidant told him this. It then turned to sheer terror. "AAAAAAAAAGAAHGHGBBBBULABEAAGEGGATRRTRTRTRTRAAIAIAAAAAAAAAAAAGGG!!!"

Goku smiled and led Chi Chi over to Kasumi. "Uh Chi Chi? This is my other wife Kasumi."

Chi Chi growled as she glared at Goku. "OTHER WIFE!?!?!" She screamed.

Vegeta cut everyone off at that point. "I'VE CREATED A MONSTER!!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs causeing Gohan to bleed some more from his ears and a little from his nose.

Goku noticed this and pointed at Gohan while laughing. "HA HA! Jerk ass!" Chi Chi slapped him.

Kasumi then glared at Chi Chi. "HEY BITCH!! DON'T HIT MY HUSBAND!!"

Chi Chi glared at Kasumi also. "HE'S _MY_ HUSBAND!!"

"I'VE HAD TWO CHILDREN WITH HIM!!" Kasumi screamed.

"SO HAVE I!!!" Chi Chi responded angrily. They stopped and then both turned their heads towards Goku who looked oblivious to the current situation..

Chi Chi and Kasumi then growled angrily as they glared at the Saiyan. "YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING AROUND YOU CHEAT!!!" They said together.

"MONSTEEEEEEERRR!!!" Vegeta screamed.

Blink pat him on the back. "You don't _have_ to have sex with this woman." She noted trying to calm him.

Evan began to cry. "IT'S Toooo lay-hey-hey-haaaate" He whined as he buried his head in his girlfriend's breasts. "Sniff. Soft. Yay."

Chi Chi had pulled out two guns and Kasumi pulled out a giant mallet. Goku began dodging the bullets Matrix style and then got hammered into the ground by Kasumi's Mallet. "Hey I felt that!" He said as he pulled himself from the ground. He then glared at Kasumi. "YOU'VE BEEN HANGING AROUND AKANE HAVEN'T YOU!!!?? I NEVER HAD SEX WITH CHI CHI!! I'M JUST STUCK IN THE BODY OF SOME GUY WHO DID!!"

Kasumi blinked and put away the mallet. "Oh Okay honey." She said. She then kissed Goku on the lips."

Goku smiled. "that's why I love you. You're so understanding." Chi Chi then shot Goku in the ass.

"OWW!!" That didn't penetrate! BUT IT HURT LIKE A BITCH!!!" Kasumi glared at Chi Chi and then the magical mirror brought her back to her own universe.

"THIS ISN'T OVER BITCH!!!!!!!!!" Her voice trailed off as she disappeared.

Evan screamed. "MONSTEEEEEERRR!!" though it was slightly muffled.

"Oooh that felt nice."

*****************

Vegeta and Blink walked casually into the Capsule Corp building. Dr.Briefs smiled as he recognized his daughter's lover, but his expression turned sour as he noticed that the Saiyan Prince was holding on to the odd pink lady's hand."Um, hi Vegeta. How is your friend."

"Oh, hi Dr.Briefs. This is Blink, she's my girlfriend. I'm here to break the news to Bulma, plus I wanted to train abit with my protégé." Vegeta said with a smile.

The elderly scientist looked heart broken. "Your going out with another woman while being with my Bulma?"

Vegeta shrugged. "I'm a Prince, I do what I want. Stop me and die." He said cheerily.

Dr.Briefs backed slowly away from the Saiyan warrior. "V-Vegeta?" Vegeta held up a hand and formed a chi ball aimed at the Dr's head.

"Three seconds to run. The question is, where?" Vegeta asked, "Or I suppose to be cliche, 'Do you feel lucky? Huh? Do ya? Punk!'" The Dr turned quickly and ran outside the building.

Once the door closed Vegeta shot the ball, fusing the doors shut. "Step one; lab take over complete."

Blink looked skeptical. "Yeah, but did you have to threaten his life. I mean, you've been on a mean streak since you started in this body. Though it has given you a boost in... well, you know."

Vegeta nodded. "Good thing we stopped at the Porn motel. But you are right. I have been on PMS for men since I got in this body. But Chi Chi had it coming." He said, nodding as he looked around the lobby of the laboratory. "Nice place. I could do some cool stuff in here... and Gohan had it coming too!" He protested.

Blink nodded with a raised eyebrow. "Riight. What ever you say Prince Vegeta."

Vegeta smiled and grabbed Blink by the waist. "I love it when you talk dirty!"

Blink looked at the man oddly, "But I..." She was cut off as Vegeta began making out with her.

Just then Bulma came into the room with Trunks at her side. "Vegeta? I could have sworn I heard his...." She stopped as she came across the 'display' in the lobby. Bulma reached down to Trunks and covered his eyes with her hands. "V-Vegeta?"

Vegeta broke off the kiss, leaving Blink a bit woozy. "Yeah, what up hoe?"

Bulma looked shocked "VEGETA!!! HOW COULD YOU!?!"

Vegeta scratched his chin. "I thought you caught that part. It went sort of... like this!" He said as he and Blink started making out again.

"VEGETA!!!" Bulma screamed again.

"_WHAAAT_!!!" He screamed "Can't you see I'm making out here!?! JEBUS!!! BAKE ME A FREAKING PIE!!!"

Bulma's eyes widened. "What!?!"

Vegeta looked sorry. "I'm sorry." He said as he walked up to Bulma. "I forgot the special command gesture." He said as he slapped her ass. "BAKE ME A PIE!!!"

Blink looked pissed. "EVAN!!! YOU WILL NOT SLAP THAT WOMAN'S ASS!!! You are restricted to mine."

Vegeta snaped his fingers and pointed at Blink "You know it. Yeeaah. Now then. Bulma, You may have figured this out by now. But We made a big mistake. Actually it is one that destroys a lot of stuff everywhere. We made that!!!" He yelled as he pointed a quivering finger at Trunks.

Bulma became furious. She reeled back and smacked Vegeta as hard as she could, Vegeta didn't even budge. "Stop tickling." He said in a high pitched whiny voice. Vegeta regained his composure and stated. "We are through. You have smacked the royal skin and refused to serve me in the ways of pie. For that you must sacrifice your first son on the top of mount doom and in turn adopt a feral little person named Golum. In his possesion is a ring, one that would rule all others. Mind you that is a lot of rings. But in the darkness bind all those rings. Seven for the elves, immortal and stuff. Another number for the dwarves, cause it would make a great birthday present. One for the little boy who lives down the lane. Ba ba black Bulma give me all your pie. OR else suddenly you will die!!!" vegeta broke into maniacal laughter as Bulma ran away crying, leaving her half Saiyan son with his father.

"Dad? Did you just tell mom to kill me?" Trunks asked.

"Yup." Vegeta said as he looked over the boy. "Unless...."

***************

Vegeta, Blink and Trunks appeared within a massive furniture war. Sofas, pillows, chairs and other household wares came hurling through the air.

"I AM TELLING THE TRUTH!!!!" screamed Goku as he narrowly avoided a butcher knife.

"Josh. I adopted Trunks and I'm going to leave him in the wild to survive just like Piccolo did to your kid along time ago." Vegeta called out over the crashing furniture.

Chi Chi stopped tossing house things and glared at the nearby Namekian, who had been handing her stuff to throw for the last two hours. "YOU LEFT MY SON IN THE WILDERNESS!?!?! ALONE!?!?!?!?!" She screamed as she threw a fish knife at Piccolo, who had not been expecting it, and lost an arm out of the ordeal.

Paul looked sad as another knife flew by his head. "I liked that arm." He said, not even bothering with the pain.

Goku looked over at Vegeta and breathed heavily. "EVAN!! BACK ME UP HERE!! THIS CRAZY CHICK DOESN'T BELIEVE THAT I'M SOMEBODY ELSE FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION JUST INHABITING HER HUSBANDS BODY!!"

Vegeta looked smug. "Would you believe you if your roles were reversed?" He asked.

Goku nodded. "OF COURSE I WOULD!! I WATCH SLIDERS!!!"

Vegeta nodded. "That's a good point. Where's Morden?" He asked.

Goku pointed over to a room that was glowing around the edges of the door. "He's taking a nap." Goku sighed. "I'm really starting to hate being in Goku's body. It's nice being invulnerable to most everything but Chi Chi's getting on my nerves. 'Ve been trying to apologize for making out with my inter dimensional wife but she won't have it. She say's that even if I am just stuck in her husbands body. I have to be loyal to her because: 'It IS her husband's body.'" Goku said annoyedly. "I guess I've got no choice but to accept this. I'm going to need to call Kasumi and tell her though. She'll understand."

Vegeta nodded. "Yeah. She knew it was you in Goku's body the moment she got here... which is also the moment you started making out with her."

Goku shrugged. Vegeta shrugged as well. Chi Chi glared at Goku. Goku wilted and bowed his head shamefully. "I'm sorry for kissing that other girl and I'll stay true to only you from this moment on... for the rest of my life." He said with a sigh. He just wanted to get her to stop throwing things at him.

Chi Chi glared at him some more. "Promise!?!" She asked angrily. Goku just nodded sadly. Chi Chi hugged Goku happily. "I'm so proud of you Goku!!" She stepped back and looked at him with lust in her eyes. "Now I'll show you what a real woman can do!" She growled as she dragged him into the bedroom.

Vegeta paled and grabbed blink. "Come on! Let's get out of here. I don't want to stick around if what I think is going to happen happens." With that Vegeta and Blink instant transmitted out of Goku's house.

Grunts, Groans, and moans ensued.

************

Vegeta, Trunks and Blink sat in the middle of the wilderness. Vegeta smiled as he turned to his son. "Ok boy." He said as he put a reassuring hand on Trunks' shoulder. "Me and Blink are going to leave you in the wilderness to train in survival tactics. If you survive, we may take you along with us on a cool trip through multiple dimensions."

Trunks looked sad. "What about mommy?" He whined.

Vegeta smacked the boy up top the head. "Quit your bitching boy. Mommy is a slut and was sleeping with...Chiatzu... and Yamcha.... and Oolong... at the same time."

Trunks raised an eyebrow. "Mom slept with piggy?"

Vegeta shook his head. "Yes." He scratched his head. "That's about the size of it. If you want to kill all three of them before we leave you'll have to train hard."

Trunks' look became sadder. "Kill my friends?"

Vegeta breathed deeply and smacked the kid again. "Rule one. No bitching! You kill then move on. Just like daddy. Why daddy once killed planets, just for fun." He said as he picked the boy off the ground.

?Blink looked at Vegeta with a worried expression. "Evan? You're getting a lot more violent... being in this new body. Why don't you just leave this kid alone?"

Vegeta shrugged. "Sorry Blink. I just got carried away... you know with the whole Vampire blood lust and Saiyan battle lust blending and creating a 'lets destroy everything and make the survivors like me' attitude." He said as he set the child down. "You know what Trunks, I'll go easy on you. You can just train with me. We'll go to Kami's house and train in the room of time and space. It'll be fun!" He said with a big smile

Trunks instantly cheered up. "We can go to Kami's!?" He exclaimed.

Vegeta smiled lovingly. "Sure." He said. *Must... keep... good...front so....Blink...won't... dump me.* He mentally struggled.

Blink smiled *That's better. I'll just remind him to be human every once in a while and he shouldn't kill anyone.* She reasoned to herself.

Vegeta noticed that Blink was loosening up. *So far so good. Gotta keep this ploy up for a short time later and blame the rest on the vampirism and Saiyan blood.... mmm. Saiyan blood. This boy is full of it...* Vegeta smacked himself hard. *NO!!! CAN'T EAT BOY!!!* Vegeta looked around after smacking himself. "What?"

Blink and Trunks had an eyebrow raised each. "You just smacked yourself." Blink said with a bit of fear in her voice.

"Oh... I.... was....um....falling asleep.... so... I smacked myself. Yes...." Vegeta said as he scratched the back of his head and slowly backed away. "Uhh... bye!!" He screamed as he projected his chi at the ground and launched himself into the air flying towards Goku's house. *Wait... Chi Chi is there.* He thought as he floated slowly back towards where he had taken off from. When he landed he motioned for Trunks and Blink to come towards him. "I guess I forgot to take off _with_ you guys. Hehe... yeah." He said as Blink slowly walked towards him and Trunks started to fly by himself.

"I can fly by myself Daddy." Trunks said as he did a flip in the air.

"Good for you boy." Vegeta said with a smile. "You know the easiest ability in the universe. But once we get to Kami's I'll teach you some huge moves." Trunks smiled broadly.

"ALRIGHT!!"

"Yeah. And we can teach your new mommy how to do the wimpy flying move." He said, actually beginning to like the 'monster'.

Trunks laughed. "Yeah, mommy couldn't handle the hard stuff, right daddy?"

Vegeta brought the boy close and gave him a noogie. "That's right Trunks! Mommy isn't quite as strong as us boys! But we'll let her cook and clean for us!"

Blink elbowed Vegeta in the gut. "Hey! At least teach the boy how to deal with women!"

Vegeta groaned but kept a smile on. "I am. Jeeze Blink, the boy is my protégé he will be taught in the ways of the Evan-sennin. Fear not... well OK, fear, but not for us. For the world." He said as Blink, Trunks and himself launched towards Kami's Palace.

**************

Goku groaned as he exited the bedroom in Goku's house. Goku walked over to the couch and fell down. "M...Monster." He muttered as he pushed some kid onto the floor.

Goten frowned as his father shoved him off of the couch and he landed on his ass. "DAD!!!" He yelled at his father. Goku just pushed the kid out of the way and grabbed the remote control for the T.V. which was currently playing Pokemon. He switched the channel to the mid day movie. Evil Slutty Monster Cheerleaders from the Seventh Layer of Hell VII. Goten frowned. "HEY!! I WAS WATCHING THAT!!"

Goku pushed the kid away into a wall drowsily. "Shut up. Pokemon bad... zombies good. Zombies make Goku feel warm and fuzzy."

Goten growled. "MOOOOM!!!" He screamed to his mother who was still in the bedroom. "DAD WON'T LET WATCH POKEMON!!!"

Goku groaned as he watched a slutty cheerleader eat the heart of coach Reynolds. "With the Poke and the Mon... and you get the Pokemon. Coo coo ca choo!" Goku then flicked the channel to MTV where they were playing Stiches by Orgy. Goku brightened up immediately and started to head bang to the song as he sung with it. "TYING YOURSELF TO ME STITCH UP MY EMPTINESS!!!" Goku paused and looked contemplative. "Goku's got a HORRIBLE singing voice."

Chi Chi stormed out of her room. "YOU AREN'T LETTING OUR SON WATCH T.V!?!?!?! YOUR IN FOR IT!!!" She yelled as Goku instantly woke up.

He ducked behind the couch, expecting the best. *Uh oh.*

"GIVE THE BOY THE REMOTE!!!" She screamed.

Goku stood up quickly. "YOU'LL HAVE TO PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!!!!" He yelled.

Chi Chi growled.

"Ok... the boy can have it." Goku whimpered as he threw the remote at Goten and beaned the boy on the head.

Chi Chi growled again. "You will pick up the remote and hand it to our son."

Goku smiled nervously "Ok... heh heh..." He said as he picked up the remote. "CAN'T CATCH ME!!!" He said as he jumped up and clung top the ceiling and started to crawl towards the door. *I can sense Evan over there. I'll just make a break for it.* He thought as a knife imbedded inches from his head. *I'll go now.*

*********

Vegeta, Trunks and Blink landed on the marble floor of Kami's Palace. "Kami!!! Where are you, you old Namekian!!!" He yelled.

Mr.Popo walked out of the Palace with an odd look on his face. "Uhh, Vegeta? Kami... isn't himself."

Vegeta smiled. "Namekian boy went senile?" He asked with a smile.

"No... he seems to be possessed by an evil sprit." The obese black genie said.

"Great... can I poke you?" Vegeta asked.

"Right... now then... will you help with Kami's... problem." Popo said as Vegeta started to poke his belly. "Will you stop that!?!"

Vegeta stopped poking the large genie for a second. "No." He said as he resumed poking. "And that goes for Kami's problem as well, though I have a guess as to what has happened to him."

Popo fumed. "If you _have_ an idea it would be helpful if you would share it!"

Vegeta stopped poking him and stood up straight. "Again I say no. Though I will stop poking you as you are not making a funny sound so that my boy will laugh. Must I vaporize you?" Vegeta questioned.

"No. But _please_ help him Vegeta!! He is in desperate need of assistance." Popo pleaded, sounding a bit relieved that Vegeta had stopped poking.

"Fine. Put a diaper on the old man and send him to Goku with a ribbon and a note that says Lilith. If my guess is right then he has been possessed by my friend's daughter's soul. If I'm wrong then we have a problem." Vegeta said as he looked around. "Now then, while your doing that, me and Trunks would like to use the room of time and space."

*************

Goku sighed and stretched out lazily in a lawn chair. "This is the life." He said. Currently he was on a beach in Miami and was wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and some matrix style sunglasses. "This instant transmission thing is the SHIT!!" He said as he lifted up his glasses to peer at a particularly fine pair of women that walked by. "No Chi Chi... no whiny kids... no alternate whiny kids." Goku sighed and lay back in his chair tanning. "I think I could get used to this universe." He said. Goku held up a T.V. remote control and smiled evilly. "Suckers!"

*************

Author's Notes: {I've decided to end the chapter here. I'm now trapped in the body of Goku, and will probably be here until I find a way to get out. I don't exactly know how that will be yet... after all we don't plan anything out. We just write whatever's on our minds. And here's a word from our sponsor:}

(Riight. Yeah, so we have introduced a new writer to the 'clique'. Paul Millar a close friend is now trapped in the body of your friendly neighborhood Namekian, Piccolo. Yeah, so I hope you enjoy his writing style and stuff... Um... now he can talk.}

[Being handicapped is not to my liking...yes...this will definitely cause problems...unless...of course...how could I forget about my abilities...soon I will be stronger than ever...with my arm back...my strong arm...yes.....excellent. I could really get used to this green thing...god I feel superior...they will all be educated...you all just wait and see...the superior revolution will prevail...the strong shall live, and the weak shall turn green, like me...yes...it has to work. They say better red than dead, but green's one up from that, isn't it? The piccolean...I mean namekian civilization shall prevail as it should...and I WILL BE THE VICTOR...over what I don't know, but never the less, I WILL, damn it!]

{Once again I say Riight.}