Self Insertion

Disclaimer: You should know the drill by now. Sides... I've got one on the main page.

You should know all the rest that come after as well. If you've read this far!

Chapter 18

Anyone for some T.... Veronica?

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

Evan, Josh, and Paul plummeted to what appeared to be their death once again.

THUMP!

THUMP!!

PING!! THUMP!!

Josh and Paul landed 'safely on the concrete walkway to a large foreboding mansion, whilst Evan gracefully smashed his face off a handrail then spun backwards and landed on his ass.

"Ouch..." Evan stated, as his tolerance towards pain had greatly increased since embarking on this phase shifting journey though dimensions. "Stupid handrail thing. Thinks it is all good helping people climb stairs and the likes. I'll show him... or it... or is it a her... maybe if I splashed it with hot water?" Evan reached behind his back to open his anime pocket universe and pull out a bucket of heated H2O and returned his hand empty much to his dismay. "Intrigue... I retain my vast intellect yet I cannot use anime powers... Perhaps if I shoot it with chi?" Evan brought his hand up to fire a chi ball at the offending piece of pipe but to no avail. The blast just passed through it and disintegrated a brick wall. The rail was smoldering but not broken. Evan pointed at the rail and glared darkly at it. "We... will meet again!"

Suddenly a lady wearing a red dress and knee high black boots stepped out of one of the many doors in a long hallway type thing. Josh looked confused as she stared at them. "Who the heck is that?" He wondered.

"I know not... though it bears a striking resemblance to one Millia Jovavich." Evan stated blankly, attempting to figure out where he had landed them this time.

Josh looked over to Evan who was now looking like his old self again. "Oooh!" He said in recognition. "The chick who was on the fifth element. Right?" He questioned, paying the girl no mind for the time being.

Evan nodded. Just then after a breeze blew by, ruffling everyone's clothes, somebody came up behind the woman and grabbed her pulling her into the dark mansion much to her dismay. Instinctively Josh ran forward and jumped into the doorway that they disappeared into, he looked around but he couldn't see anyone. "Damn it! Where'd they go!?" He wondered as he looked around and his other two companions came up behind him.

Evan sniffed the air for a brief second. "That way." He said, pointing down the hall. "I can smell their sweet, sweet blood." Evan's stomach rumbled. "Heh heh, blood."

Josh nodded and ran down the hall towards the odd couple. He found the man in the main hall with the woman, who was now down on the ground and panicking. The man looked up and noticed Josh coming towards him. "Who are you!" Josh demanded.

The guy in the blue shirt was startled by his appearance. "Huh?" he stated like a bad actor.

That was all the time the josh needed, he jumped towards the guy and kicked him across the room, knocking him unconscious. About the same moment that his foot connected and Evan and Paul came into the large room, the windows surrounding the place smashed inwards and several black clad people came into the room, brandishing several weapons, and technological equipment.

The people went about their work quickly, apprehending the blue shirt guy and holding the red dress lady in a hostage like position. They attempted to grab at Josh but he flipped out of the way and stuck to the roof, Paul surrendered, knowing the general happenings and Evan went nuts. "YOU AIN'T TAKING ME.... UNDEAD!!!" He screamed as he grabbed a feminine soldier and held her in front of him as he sunk his fangs into her sparsely armored neck. The girl screamed in pain as Evan drained her blood while holding her up as a human shield to soak up the small hail of fire from one of the more trigger happy people. The young Vampire smiled as the girl kicked around as her nerves set in. "HAHAHAHA!!!! EVIL!!!" Josh just stared at the insane vampire he called his friend. But on the bright side the attention of the soldiers was off him.

Josh jumped down from the ceiling and started jumping around the soldiers taking their weapons forcefully and breaking them all in half. He then incapacitated them and got the big one off of the red haired girl in the red dress. Josh pinned the large one up to the wall and tore off his mask. Fear was clearly written on his features and he tried to reach for his combat knife in desperation. Josh stopped him and knocked the knife away. "What's going on here?" Josh asked forcefully.

"Wh...What are you people?" He asked trying to reveal a little more of the situation to better deal with it.

Josh shrugged. "I have super powers, know martial arts, and I can shoot stuff with my own energies, My friend is a super vampire, and my other friend is a crossbreed of human and alien. No biggy. Now why are you and your cronies busting in here and hustling this gorgeous woman?" He asked.

The man calmed down a little bit and began to explain the situation. "A few hours ago an A.I went homicidal, releasing a nerve gas to keep everyone above ground contained, unfortunately it released a deadly toxin killing everyone after a breakout of an experimental weapon was released."

Josh became curious. "What was this weapon called?"

"The T-Virus." The man stated.

Josh dropped the commander and took a step back. "Are you from S.T.A.R.S?"

The man shook his head. "No, we are the security force for Umbrella."

Evan smiled broadly as he walked up behind Josh. "Does this mean we get to kill Zombies?"

Josh nodded. "Looks that way."

Evan produced a modified Magnum from behind his back and handed it to Josh. "Let's go find em" He said busting out his modified 9mm pistol and tossing a shotgun to Paul.

Josh smiled and turned his back on the commander. "Y'know... it's been a while since I played Resident Evil. This should be fun!" Him, Evan, and Paul began walking away, looking for dead stuff to shoot. Just then Paul was shot in the back and died.

"RAIN!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?!" The commander demanded as two other soldiers restrained the woman.

"I wasn't aiming for him." Rain declared angrily, "I was trying to shoot the freak that killed my best friend!!"

Evan turned around and smiled. "And I suppose that makes us even?" HE asked baring his fangs. "I'll see you bleed." He stated, firing two shots from his hip, both impacting in her knees blowing them completely away from her body and leaving her limp on the floor. "If any of you feels for her, you'll snap her neck now." Evan said turning to Paul's body and pulling out a strange metallic device and placing it against the wound. He looked up at Josh and shook his head. "Round hit his core. Paul's dead." He said with a small tear forming in his left eye. "He was avenged."

Josh sighed and turned to the remaining commandos with a serious expression on his face. "Now listen up everyone! I know what we're going to be facing here. I've dealt with this sort of thing before." Josh paused... "Sort of. If we all turn on each other you'll all end up dead and me and Evan the vampire will be bored. If we stick together, only a few of you will die and the rest of us can have some fun blowing up lots and lots of zombies." He then put on a stern expression, walked up to Eric, and snapped the cuffs that were on him. "You dig?"

The commandos nodded, and the group slowly advanced, with the commandos leading the way, since they knew the way. Josh stayed VERY close behind the Milla Jovovich look-a-like.

"I hope there are no unicorn medal puzzle type shit down here. I wanna kill shit, not figure it out." Evan complained as he picked up Paul's shotgun and ran to catch up to the rest of the group.

******************

Later at an underground train station. Evan looked around and sniffed the air as the commandos nervously edged through the crates. "HEY!!" He yelled. "NO ZOMBIES OR DEAD THINGS HERE!! GO TO THE DAMN TRAIN ALREADY!!!" The sniper walked up to Evan and cocked his head.

"How do you know that?" He asked.

Evan smiled. "I'm one of them. I can smell death, and even the blood coursing through your veins right now. In fact I kind off want to spill that blood, now trust me and back the fuck off. Your people killed my friend, you'll be just another notch on my gun if you don't.... bitch."

The sniper eyed Evan nervously then decided he was telling the truth and took a cautious step backwards. He motioned for his comrades to move to the train.

When they got there they noticed that the power to the train had been killed. Evan stepped up to fix it when Josh grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. "Evan." He whispered. "See the camera over my left shoulder?" When Evan nodded Josh continued. "It's been following us, if we move it moves. I think it has something to do with that A.I thing that their boss talked about." Evan nodded again.

"Shall I kill it good?" Evan said happily. "I have a gun and an EMP thingie that could kick it's ass."

"How the hell do you fit EMP into your damn trench coat?" Josh asked.

Evan smiled. "Something I learned in Ranma. I have a pocket universe I actually have a Sherman tank with a 100 mm cannon and a 50 caliber automatic rifle strapped to the top."

Josh shook his head. "You sick, sick bastard."

Evan smiled broader. "I know."

Just then the commander called out that the train was fixed. Evan walked up to where the commander was, planting a small EMP grenade with plastic explosives on a nearby pillar. "You guys are slackers! I could have fixed the train before you even knew it was broken." Evan laughed and boarded as the commander grimaced at the aspect of completing the mission with such a cocky asshole.

The started down the track and began its trek to the underground facility known as the hive. Josh heard a sound from the back of the train and looked towards the back door. Evan was already looking in that direction. "There's somebody in there." He stated. Josh walked over to the door and opened it with no trouble whatsoever. A half conscious man fell out the moment the door flew open and fell onto the ground. Josh shrugged and left him there for the commandos to deal with.

*************

The group arrived at a very similar loading dock and got off the train. The commandos debriefed them on what the mission was while the pretty boy of the commandos followed a 3D map on a small computer screen he carried with him. Just then a small tremor erupted from way down the train track. The commandos got unnerved by this and became more defensive.

"Killed that camera good." Evan muttered as he slipped his detonator back into his pocket universe. "Thinks it's so smart, probably in league with the damn pole." Evan continued to mutter nonsensically as he decided to change his clip to a more potent variation of acidic bullets. "Damn zombies, hope they like melting."

The commandos tried their best to ignore the stupid vampire and continued to follow the map to the Red Queens facility. The pretty boy continued to talk, mostly to Josh and the red haired girl who was discovered to be named Alice. "The Red Queen is a holographic computer A.I. that runs this facility, it mostly controls the self defense mechanisms, but it can override the entire facility at will and lock or open any door it wants. We plan to fry her circuits and shut down the Hive, to contain the virus totally underground."

"Okay." Josh said. "That sounds reasonable." He paused and turned to the rest of the group with a smile. "Hey. Who wants to bet that the moment we fry queeny zombies show up?" he asked, making light of the ENTIRE situation.

"I'll put twenty on that." Evan said, cleaning the top of his gun with a bit of the uniform from a nearby officer, who appeared to be failing in attempting to ignore the annoying undead. "I'll even double that if the commander gets killed."

Josh nodded and grabbed his friends hand in a firm shake. "You're on! But if he doesn't die by zombies I get all!"

The commander growled slightly, attracting Evan's attention. "I think we have a turner!! HE'S GROWLING!! HE SMELLS BLOOOD!!! SHOOT!!"

Josh stopped him just before he shot and shook his head while waving his index finger in front of his face. "That's a no no."

Evan tried to get his guns up to shoot at the commander and growled. "NO DAMNIT! IT'S A YES YES!!" Evan failed miserably because Joshes strength was a might bit more powerful than his. Evan gave up but glared at the commander as they entered the main computer room. "This isn't over MeNelly You killed my brother, and now I'm gonna kill you."

The commander never took his eyes off of him for the next five minutes as the pretty boy of the group worked on opening the doors to the Red Queens chamber. "I've almost got it!" He called out just before an audible click was heard and the doors at the head of the room opened.

The remaining commandos moved into the room corridor, except Alice, Josh, Evan, Eric the police officer, and Pretty boy. The leader of the group was carrying a large black duffel bag down the glass corridor which contained the EMP generator that would shut down the Red Queen.

Evan snickered as he whispered to Eric. "I have a feeling I'm going to lose the bet with Josh, it seems to easy."

Eric looked at Evan with a look of concern. "What are you talking about?"

The vampire smiled. "Nothing is simple when it comes to Umbrella, they always have some weirdass majigger that kills shit good. All I'm saying is they are gonna die and there is nothing we can do."

Just as Evan finished speaking the doors to the corridor slammed shut and an audible humming rang through the room. The commandos seemed unfazed and nodded to Prettyboy to open the doors. Try as he might, he appeared to be to late as a beam of condensed heat started on a path towards the commandos. The majority of the military folk dodged but the sniper attempted to dive to the side just a smidge to late and was dissected almost directly down the sternum, the wound cauterizing from the intense heat. The remaining commandos looked back in horror as the sniper slowly fell apart in a very dead way, the captain seemed to be the final person of their black clad machine gun party, but that didn't last long as he turned around to run towards the far door just as another blue beam shot out and took him out at the knees. Within seconds a third beam launched it's self out and finished the job. Evan dug into his back pocket and pulled out forty bucks and reluctantly handed it to Josh.

"Useless Commander. Couldn't even wait until the Zombies came to die." Evan said as he walked up to the door and effortlessly tore it from the hinges. The Pretty boy looked in horror at the vampire.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE THEM!?! YOU COULD HAVE SAVED THEM!!!"

Evan shrugged. "You never asked." He said as he walked down the hallway towards the Red Queen, destroying the laser thing as he walked with his bare hands.

Josh followed Evan down the hallway and picked up the duffel bag on the way which miraculously did not even have a small tear in it. He punched the door to the Queen in and it flew to the other side of the room, hitting the opposite wall. "Don't you hate doors?" Josh asked Alice, who followed right after them.

Josh gave the device to Evan to figure out since he was smart when it came to machines and stuff. Evan hooked it up to the Red Queen system moments later and turned it on, just as a red laser light was creating a 3D representation of the Red Queen... it never finished.

Pretty boy walked over to a panel and pulled out a circuit board that contained the Red Queens memory banks. "Lets go before anything else happens." He said. "All the doors are open it shouldn't be any problem at all to get out."

Josh laughed. "OH SHIT!! You just said the cliche MAGIC WORDS to make something fatally bad happen! Every time somebody sais that or 'what could possibly go wrong?' They die." Josh then turned to Evan... "Fifty bucks a licker gets him." He said.

Evan nodded. "I'll take that... Pretty boy's going down on the first zombie encounter." Josh and Evan then shook on it.

Pretty boy got angry with them. "DAMN IT! STOP BETTING ON HOW WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!!"

Evan smiled. "Yeah, yeah. Um... hundred says Milla doesn't die... twenty on the cop wuss, who won't die... and that half conscious guy will die by my hand or if they have hunters, one of those... but not the special ones. Just a normal 121."

Josh shook his head. "No way! That's obvious, Milla's the lead, cop guy's gonna get infected. Neither of them die, we already made two bets, lets keep it simple."

"DAMN IT STOP!!!" Pretty Boy screamed.

Evan shrugged. "I want to make it interesting. But I'll stop betting on these guys... for now. Besides half conscious guy is just a blood bag for me to suck dry." Evan eyed the wussy guy. "That's right. You die by me!! And I mean the suck dry thing in a non-homosexual way... Anyways, forty says I run out of ammo and am forced to take the tank out of retirement, and sixty on the fact that I'll get more kills than you."

Josh smiled and shook on it. "You're on!" They then left to join the other two people who were waiting reconaisance out in the room before the computer room.

***************

The tall black haired man, and the black commando, who were waiting outside were waiting for the others to return when Evan, Josh, Alice, Eric, Pretty Boy, and now fully conscious guy exited the computer room. "Where's the others, the black guy asked.

Josh walked past him and replied nonchalantly. "They all died by getting hit by lasers."

"WHAT!!?" He screamed surprised.

Evan sniffed as he walked past the black dude. "Geeze! You'll get your turn buddy."

Josh then noticed a woman, turned away from them in a lab coat, hunched over. Josh ran towards her. "FIRST ONE'S MINE!!!!" He yelled as he pummeled her with Spider Saiyan strength.

Evan frowned and stamped his foot on the ground. "DAMN IT!!"

All of a sudden a dragging, scraping sound emanated from Evan's left. He turned and shot a gratuitous amount of acidic lead into the undead thing with two dislocated parts, but ended up corroding him and two others as well as two strange containment devices, from which sprang two oddly proportioned creatures which automatically registered in Evan's head. "LICKERS!!! WHEEEE!!!"

Josh, seeing that his competition was getting more kills than him so far pulled out two magnums and began shooting at head level at all of the zombies nearby and far away, he also pumped about seven shots into three lickers heads, one through the glass on the container in which it was still contained.

"BOO YAH!!" He exclaimed as he accidentally hit the black guy in the face. "Uh oops." He corrected.

Evan noticed that the playing field was leveling out, as he reloaded his pistol, he looked over at the two remaining commandos who where simply standing there in awe of the two maniacs. "WUSSIES!!!" HE screamed at them as he unloaded his fresh clip into the remaining commandos. Evan turned back to the zombies and realized they were just a bit too close. "SHIELD YOUR EYES!!" He screamed, Josh did so but the other people didn't... and lived to regret it. "FINAL FLASH!!!" Evan screamed as his chi flared and a massive, blinding beam flung forth from his hands, decimating hundreds of the undead bastards. "WOO HOO!!! WHO DA UNDEAD BLOOD SUCKER!?!" he said as he whipped out Pauls shotgun and unlocked a licker case, just for something to kill.

Josh beat him to it and once it was unlocked he shot the Licker several times in the head, killing it quite good. "Sucker!" He said to Evan.

"JERK ASS!! I called that one!"

"I didn't see you put your name on it!" Josh shot back angrily.

Evan pulled out a permanent marker and wrote EVAN on the dead flesh of the Licker carcass. "THERE!!" He said pointing at it with a shaky hand.

"Josh grabbed him by his trench coat collar and glared at him. "DAMN IT YOU CAN'T DO THAT THAT'S CHEATING!!"

Evan smiled "All is fair in love and war... though love has nothing to do with it."

Josh smirked and grabbed Alice. "Oh Yeah?" He said while planting a massive kiss on her lips, just as a blueish purple aura surrounded the room.

Evan smiled. "You gonna die honky." He stated, pushing Josh back and floating up into the air and picking off the remaining zombies with the shotgun so that Kasumi wouldn't have to deal with that sort of thing.

Kasumi appeared a moment later and the first thing she saw was Josh making out with a surprised and reluctant Alice. "What the?" She said, despair welling up in her voice.

Josh looked up in distress. "Oh shit." He muttered to himself. He let go of Alice and let her drop to the floor. "Kasumi... it's not what it looks like." He said. "It was a bet." He said trying to explain himself.

Evan floated down. "No it wasn't. I said, 'all's fair in love and war', then BOOM!! Out of nowhere he grabs this sleazy hoe and starts playing tonsil hockey with her." Evan looked serious, "It's just not right."

Kasumi nodded, her tears of despair turning to tears of rage. "HOW COULD YOU!?! WE HAVE TWO LOVELY CHILDREN, A LIFE AND A HAPPY MARRIAGE AND YOU TRY TO RUIN IT ALL!!"

Josh released a pissed off Alice, who went over and slapped Evan, and waved his arms defensively. "Evan's bullshiting!! I wasn't trying to ruin everything!!! I was proving a point!!" Josh said.

Kasumi put her hands on her hips, "By making out with a hussie?"

Alice turned to Kasumi. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HUSSIE!?!"

Kasumi got an evil grin, "Sorry whore!!"

Evan became excited at the prospect of a chick fight. "KICK HER ASS KASUMI!!!"

Kasumi looked back at Evan and nodded. Symbiotic strands flying from her arms and wrapping around Alice's neck. Alice struggled for a bit but then became still. Kasumi made her symbiote come back and Alice fell lifeless to the floor. "Thanks for the symbiote Evan. I figured it would come in handy for something other than cleaning and cooking."

Evan's jaw dropped. "Whoh... Josh's wife is hardcore..."

Josh just stared at Kasumi in shock. He had no idea that she could kill somebody. "Kasumi, you killed her." He stated rather shocked at the scene.

Kasumi looked at the corpse angry and then smiled. "That'll teach her to stay away from my sweety pie!" Kasumi then ran over to Josh and hugged him fiercely.

"Okay that was weird..." He stated.

Evan looked over at the wussy dude who was to be his food. "I feel hungry." He said before running towards the guy and biting into his neck, draining his lifeforce. "Ahhh, he was lemony... mmm citrus."

Evan got a far off look on his face and just stood there staring blankly at a metallic elevator door. Josh looked at the door and shrugged, he walked towards it and opened it.

"Oops, zombies." He stated as they tried to pull him into the elevator. Josh just lifted a hand up and shot a Moko Takabisha at them, disintegrating them. "We're tied again." He called back to Evan who just now shook out of his blank citric stare.

Evan smirked and walked toward Josh, he tapped his friend on the shoulder and made a Gimme gimme gesture. Josh sighed and paid the man. "Didn't think about Kasumi did you?" Evan asked.

Josh made an annoyed fake smile face at him. "Didn't think she was capable of killing the main character."

Josh, Evan, and Kasumi then directed their stares at Eric the cop... who was the last one alive except for them. "You want to kill him? Or should I? Or does Kasumi want another hit of death dealing?" Kasumi smiled and walked up to Eric. She smiled as a long, symbiotic blade erupted from her left hand and impaled the cop. "Guess that answers that... So then... how's Morden and Lilith?"

Kasumi smiled. "Good... though Lilith is looking constantly green, and Morden is kind of pink... they don't let him in Sunday school anymore."

Evan paused for a second, remembering some important DBZ lore. "Oh shit..."

Josh put his hand on Kasumis shoulder. "Kasumi? I want you to stop killing innocent people. Only use the symbiote for good, and killing zombies."

Kasumi nodded and they began to make out furiously.

"Paul was Piccolo... Lilith was Kami..." He muttered "Fuck. Lilith is dead." He stated. Evan walked over to the half clothed couple and tapped Kasumi on the shoulder. "Kasumi when's the last time you saw Lilith?"

"Huh?" Kasumi stated. "Oh about an hour ago, Akane was taking care of her."

"She's dead, Lilith had a soul link with Paul who died. So that means that Lilith is dead." Evan said, sadly not wanting to be the bearer of the inevitable bad news.

Kasumi went into denial and eventually broke down into tears. "NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOooooooo, ho, ho, hooooo!!!!" She wailed, moments before she faded out into thin air.

***************

Much later after Evan and Josh had ratified every undead thing in the hive the pair emerged from the foreboding mansion. "That was fun... How long till Raccoon city is totally infected?" Evan asked.

Josh shrugged. "About fifteen minutes."

Evan nodded and cracked his knuckles. "Cool."

The pair stood there for about five minutes before the air in front of them started to glow strangely. "Portals opening." Josh said, holstering his magnum.

"Yup."

"Oh yeah."

When the portal fully formed the two stepped into it and disappeared, leaving the city defenseless.

****************

Back in Ranma universe.

Kasumi rushed to her babies side, pushing a crying Akane aside and calling out for Blink, who had decided to take a break from the constant violence that seemed to either follow Evan and Josh, or be caused by the duo. Kasumi checked Lilith's pulse and found that there was a very light one just as Blink arrived, half asleep and only wearing her under garments. "What is it? What's wrong?" The pink skinned mutant asked.

"It's Lilith!! SHE'S BARELY ALIVE!!" Kasumi screamed.

Blink reacted fast, grabbing the child and her mother and teleporting them to Dr.Tofu's.

Later that day, Tofu walked out of the room that held Lilith. "She's catatonic." He said sadly to Kasumi. "I don't mean to pry but were you babysitting this child? Because if you were I'm going to have to get her medical information."

Kasumi reached into her purse that Blink had gotten during the agonizing wait and pulled out the proper documents. Tofu stared blankly at the papers. "S-She's yours?"

Kasumi nodded, tears streaming down her face.

"Oh... I'll do my best Kasumi." Tofu said just before leaving the room, in the other room, Tofu began sharpening a large knife with a maniacal stare on his face as he watched the sparks fly. "I'll kill him! I'll kill this guy! He stole my happiness!!" He muttered to himself.

***************

Josh frowned as he fell into the new world. He managed to land on his feet this time but Evan fell on him and knocked him into a river, turning him into his girl half. "Oop. Sorry Josh." Evan apologized. Josh pulled herself out of the river and looked at Evan strangely.

"It's daylight and you're not burning." Josh said confused.

Evan looked at himself and did an Oogaly Poogaly {don't ask} voice "Hah!?!?" Evan made the mistake of looking up. "OH GOD!!! MY EYES!!!" He screamed as he viewed his first sunlight in longer than he cared to remember (Which is yesterday. God I hate yesterdays).

Josh looked around at their surroundings and noticed that there seemed to be a lack of... life. There was no buildings or people anywhere. "What the hell?" He muttered.

"Everything smells... fake... Strange... But slightly arousing..." Evan said sniffing the air. "I feel the need to kill shit... but that's not too out of the ordinary..."

Just then a little thing came out of nowhere, then there was another one. "What the hell?" Josh said again. The little things moved towards them and then smiled.

Evan whipped out an uzi and filled many of the nearby bushes with lead. A small amount of screaming ensued and the two little monsters scurried around seeking cover, which they decided should be behind Evan's legs. "THESE THINGS ARE DUMB!!!" Evan screamed as he spun around, the monster things running around to the other side of his legs. "BASTARDS!!!" He screamed again.

Josh bent down to the little blob creatures. "What are you things?" He asked. "You look like little blob things, with eyes." Josh then pointed at one. "You have arms..." He then pointed at the other. "And you have wings."

The little creatures mysteriously developed mouths and one of them spoke. "We're Digimon! You're in the digital world." Josh frowned and pulled out his magnum.

"I've heard enough." He then capped each of them in the head and they fell to the ground dead.

Evan put his hand on his hip then took it away quickly. "I've got a digi-thingie... those must have been our digimen... I know!! I'll use Poker balls!!!" Evan set about creating them out of dirt, water and coconuts... as well as the skulls of the two dead things. Five minutes later he tossed one of the skull shaped Poker balls to Josh-chan. "This'll catch shit good... and mine has a nerve gas option... I used what I had... Stupid digimen!! Not holding many technological devices on them so I could make Poker balls out of their dead bodies!!" Evan griped as he switched on the nerve gas option by punching the skull lightly in the face. "I feel better."

They both then fell asleep.

*****************

authors notes: {Yeah... you may be wondering why we just up and killed Paul... and everyone else, and why Kasumi is slightly homicidal. Well... That last one was Evan's idea and we're just writing this thing at random and hoping that we'll end up somewhere cool, we'll stay in Digimon a little longer to cause havoc... then we'll have a poll as to where we should go next. I like reader interaction in fics... sides, it's not like we know what were gonna do next either. It's all random. Well here's a word from our resident psychopath: Evan.}

(I'm not crazy... Ok, maybe I am... BUT THAT'S NOT MY FAULT!!! I BLAME THE WORLD!!! KILL THE INFIDELS!!! PURGE!!! PURGE!!!!.... OK, I feel better. Now then. This was an interesting chapter. Much killing involved. Good good. Um... me kill many things that be re-alive, me starting to slip into past!! Me be cave peoples!!! ARGG!! ME SMASH!!! * smacks self *Ok. again I am better. Well, that's about as random as you get. Anywho do you like cheese? Of course you do! I'll send about 10000 pounds of feta to your house and give you two tickets to the world of cheese in bum fuck Idaho. Enjoy! Now then... does anyone like spam?)

Morden Night: mordennight@hotmail.com

http://mordennight.tripod.com

http://www.thedanielgreerband.cjb.net

Agasaki Ishano: evanthewanderer@hotmail.com

http://www.idon'thaveonesodon'teventrythisaddress.com