Self Insertion

Chapter 19

Digital DOOM!!!!!

Josh awoke a few days later and stretched as she yawned. She was in her girl form due to the falling in the river thing and was feeling extra happy due to the nice long sleep that she had. She looked over and noticed that Evan was still asleep. Josh smiled as though she were on lots of drugs, she was still feeling the effects of the extra strength nerve gas. "I'll go plaaaay." She said as she began to float sideways towards a large clearing. She was actually three feet off the ground.

Evan woke up soon and yawned as he began unconsciously polishing the biggest freaking gun that he had. "Blow shit up." He mumbled half asleep still. Evan semi-snapped out of the hallucinogenic trance that his 'nerve gas' had induced on himself and Josh-chan. "Must.. Wake... Up!!! SO drugged...." He murmured as he brought his gun to bear, aiming at a nearby tree. He then shot the tree. "Must...eat....nana!!!" (Read six d four)

Back to Josh Tai frowned as he leaned back on one of the bus seats. "This sucks! How are we going to find food? I don't think there's even any intelligent life in the digital world."

The digimon sitting next to tai became sad. It looked like a dinosaur. "Are you trying to say I'm not smart?" He asked in a digimonish voice.

Tai waved his hands to disuad his new friend from that thought. "No Augumon! I didn't mean that! I just...there's no other human life out here, well, other than my friends here."

Matt, the guy who tried to act tough stopped playing his harmonica for a moment. "Don't worry tai. We'll find a way out of here."

Tai sighed. "Yeah I guess."

Just then there was a noise at the front door of the bus. Everybody in the bus jumped at the sudden noise. "What was that?" Mimi asked in an overly frightened girly voice. Matt and Tai stalked towards the door slowly with their respective Digimon following behind them.

"Okay." Matt said, as he reached the door to the bus. "I'll open the door and step back, if it's something that looks evil Augumon and Gabumon can shoot it."

"Okay." Tai said intently as though he was actually a part of this stupid plan.

Matt stepped forward and opened the door. "NOW!"

Matt opened the door and nothing happened. There was nothing outside. "Huh?" Tai said. "Where'd it go?"

Just then a woman about the age of twenty or so poked her head inside the door, startling the two boys. "HELLO!!!" She said softly with a smile. The blonde haired girl then entered the bus. "What are you children doing here?" She asked, her eyes completely bloodshot.

The children seemed to be oblivious to that, drug related, fact. "Who are you?" Zora asked.

Josh giggled and walked towards the hat wearing girl. She then leaned over and hugged the girl. "I love you." She said. She then planted a kiss on her and started to wobble towards Matt.

Just then Tai ran in front of Josh. "Lady... How did you get here? Do you know a way out." Tai then noticed a device on her belt. "YOU'VE GOT A DIGIVICE!! Where's your Digimon?"

Josh leaned towards Tai and smiled at him. "You're a cute little puppy." She said as she pat him on the head. Tai sweat dropped.

*****************

Evan wandered randomly through the large digital forest all by his lonesome. Except for the fact that he had twelve skull poker balls now, some larger than others. "Fucking digimon. Digi-ing up their monness." He mumbled as he primed an EMP grenade. "Time to send this forest to digi hell!" He said as he dropped the grenade and ran like hell.

Seconds later there was a large flash and a good sized portion of the digital forest became a black hole. "Shit died good." Evan muttered. "I must show these foul creatures my l33tn3ss."

Priming another grenade Evan stopped to admire his handiwork. "I mustn't run... I mustn't run...." He then slapped himself with his free hand. "Drugs still in effect... I know!! SAKE!! It is the cure for all ailments!!" Evan tossed the grenade and forgetting his magical summoning abilities and the fact that there are no bars in the digital world, he set off to find a place that served sake.

***************

"Lady are you okay?" T.K. asked. "You look like you may have a fever.

Josh smiled and took her shirt off, luckily for the children's virgin eyes she had her spider man costume under neath. She then began to sing. "Iron man, Iron man, does whatever an iron can."

Zora, finally snapping out of her shock and now becoming angered by the fact that another woman kissed her walked up to Josh and slapped her in the face.

Nothing happened.

She slapped her again.

Nothing.

"DAMN IT!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!?" Zora screamed.

Josh then picked up T.K. and held him upside down. "Tee hee. Your head looks like a punching bag." Josh said as she stared at the little kids oversized bulbous head.

"NO!" Matt screamed to no avail.

Josh punched T.K. in the head and it exploded in a mass of blood, puss, bone, brain, and some kind of blue stuff. All the other children screamed in horror as Josh kept punching the spot where the kids head used to be. "Four! Five! Six!... hmmm. I'm hungry. I could sure use a slice of pizza." Josh said oblivious as to what she was doing. She looked over at Tai. "Yum.

A few minutes later, all the children were staring in horror at the scene before them as they all huddled protectively at the back of the bus, Josh was currently munching down on Tais liver. His corpse lay in front of her and her blue jeans were soaked in digiblood. {Remember kids... it's not all real.}Josh smiled and licked her lips. "I could use some fava beans... and a nice Ciante."

Just then. Evan strolled up to the open door _OPEN_ _DOOR_ _BUS_... Anywho... "I'LL HAVE SEVEN SAKIS!!!..." He looked down at the scene of cannibalism with moderate interest. "I'll have what he's got!"

Josh looked up for a second, but then dove back into her meal.

"THANK YOU DR. LECTER!!" Evan said.

Matt recoiled in horror. "WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!?!?!"

Evan looked over at the hypocritical boy. "I'm a homogeneous person. I can scream... CHILDREN!!!" He screamed as he brought out a pencil crayon and lunged at the group, stabbing them all in the eyes. "WE CAN'T LET THEM SEE THIS EVIL SCENE!!!!... there is no sake." He said over the screams of agony.

****************

Josh and Evan both awoke simultaneously on a grassy hill, they were both naked and had a bunch of pokerballs with them. They were both also covered in blood and the skins of their enemies. Josh took her enemy skin off seemingly not noticing it, or the fact that she was naked. Or the fact that she was covered in human blood. Josh looked down at the teleporter on her arm and noticed that it was time to activate the portal and go into the next world.

"Eyup." She said.

She then opened the portal and they walked through.

******************

The portal opened up into a new world in a wide alley. The place had an odd yellow hue to everything and the architecture was very old but well preserved. "Where are we?" Josh mused out loud.

Evan picked up a discarded newspaper and looked confused at the writing for a second, he then nodded in sudden comprehension. "Ahhhh we're in Prague."

Josh blinked. "Prague? Why the hell are we in Prague?" Josh then looked down at herself and Evan. "And Why the hell are we naked and covered in blood?" She then glared at Evan. "What did you do this time?" She said darkly.

Evan put up his hands in defense, prepping some telekinesis just in case. "HOLD UP!! I did not do anything this time!! I fact, if blurry memory serves, you were voted Miss. Hanibal Lecter back in the digi verse." Evan shuttered at the mere mention of 'digi' "Anyways, you might want to ask the guys going down the fire escape why we're in Prague. They smell like death, meaning that they are probably vampires as I don't remember zombies moving that fast." Evan became teary eyed at the rememberance of the Resident Evil universe.

Josh watched the vampires intently as they slid down the rail and hopped onto their own separate motorcycles. Josh clotheslined the lead one just as a black figure leapt from the top story window and in one fluid motion landed, pulled out a massive gun and fired two rounds into the back of the freshly clotheslined vamp.

Evan sniffed the air once and recoil in fear. "OH MY GOD!!! HE'S A HALFLING!!!"

Josh turned and noticed the man who just landed. Her jaw dropped and she just stared at him. "B...B...B...B...B...B...B...llllllll...aaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

The vampires on the motor bikes turned around in the alley back towards Blade, who pulled out his bladearang thing and threw it at the duo. They managed to dodge it on the bikes and then Blade jumped into the air over Josh, landed on the back of one of the bikes and pulled out a silver wire. He then wrapped it around the vamps neck and cut his head off. Evan pulled out a gun from... somewhere and shot the bike that the other one was riding. It didn't hit the vampire but it ht the gas tank and blew it up.

Blade stopped the bike he was now riding and walked towards the vampire who was now unconscious. He then turned to the two naked people and walked towards them.

"What are you two doing here?" He asked in his regular dark gruesome voice.

Josh started to shake and then kneeled on the ground. She bowed. "Blade! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!!!!"

Blade stepped back confused. "What the fuck are you doing?" He asked completely confused.

"Worshiping you oh great one!" She replied.

Evan raised an eyebrow at the scene. "Freak." He muttered as he pulled out a pair of black pants, a slightly lighter black muscle shirt and a jet black trenchcoat, out of ... somewhere again. "Anywho. Your the 'daywalker' eh?" He said making over emphasized quotation marks in the air. "So... ah... Whistler... he's a goer eh? Know what I mean, know what I mean? Say no more. Say no more." He said, impersonating the classic Monty Python skit.

Josh stood up before Blade could get too pissed off. "Evan? Give me Ranma's red chinese clothes." She said. Evan nodded and summoned the silk garements using magic. They appeared on Josh moments later. Josh then got into a fighting stance..

*********

Elseworlds.

Ranma was walking down the street towards Furinkan high for school. All of a sudden just as he reached the gate, he felt a breeze then head several screams. His clothes disappeared. Ranma blushed and desperately tried to cover himself up to no avail. His nightmare came true. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHh!!!!!"

*********

Josh smiled at Blade. "Fight me." She said.

Blade looked confused. "Excuse me?"

"FIGHT ME DAMN IT!!" Josh screamed at the dhampir.

Blade shrugged and figured he'd knock the crazy chick out in one shot and take off. Josh grabbed his hand in mid punch and then tripped him. She then sent a fist into his face knocking him unconscious.

Josh smiled and looked over to Evan. "Let's take his car."

Evan nodded. Josh picked up Blade and threw him in the trunk.

Evan smiled as he hopped into the passenger side. "You kicked Shaft's ass, I'm so proud of you Onna-Josh!" He said as he shocked the car into working with his electrical powers that had been on hiatus for a good period of time.

Josh sighed as she put the car into gear. "That was Samuel L. Jackson, Blae was Wesley Snipes."

"Oh yeah."

VROOOM!!!

*******************

Later at Blade's hideout in Prague. Evan turned around to look at the extensive damage that had occurred to the 'Pimp-mobile' during a little run in with the Police. "I think we killed it."

Blade woke up and pushed the broken trunk open and stepped out into the shadows of his 'lair'. He survayed the damage and responded accordingly. "WHAT THE HELL!!! MY CAR IS BUSTED UP!!!"

Scud who was suspended for a short time flipped down and undid the wires. He currently had a doobie in his mouth and looked surprised. "Hey man, B! What happened to the car?" He asked. Josh and Evan then stepped out of the car and high fived each other reminiscing about how cool their ride was. Scud pointed at the new pair and looked inquisitive in an angry way. "MAN WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?" He asked.

Blade turned around and glared at Josh. "What the HELL did you do to my FUCKIN CAR!?!?" He screamed at the Jusenkyo cursed Spider Saiyan.

Josh shrugged. "I don't know? We got Whistler though. Why don't you give him a hit of that Vampire cure that chick made up when you ran in with Deacon Frost? Do you have any EDTA? I want to go find some vampires to blow up." Josh asked, as if the wrecked car was no big deal.

Evan grimaced, "I resent that remark." He grumbled then paused. "But blowing up evil Vampires could be pretty sw33t!! | g0tz gu/\/z!!!" He screamed in l33t.

Scud did not seem impressed and looked for support in Blade who was too busy glaring at Josh to even care what the vampire said or how the pot-head human felt about it.

Evan looked around. "Gu/\/z? Anyone? Hello? Shoot shoot, Bang bang? Boom?" He offered meekly.

Josh smiled, "Yes Evan here is a vampire." She said. "There a place we can sleep?"

****************

The next day. Josh awoke to the vision of Whistler. The old man was standing over her and glaring. "Good morning." Josh said. Smiling at the old man.

"Who are you?" Whistler asked.

Josh stood up out of the sleeping bag she had rolled out on the floor and smiled. "My name's Josh." She said. "I see that you're back to your original human self. How's Blade doing?"

Whistler walked over to a desk where he had put a bottle of whiskey and took a slug of it. He then wiped his mouth and pointed at the topless girl with the hand holding the bottle. "He's pissed off that you trashed his car!" Whistler then pointed to the shirt on the floor and frowned. "Now put your shirt back on."

Josh shrugged and did as the old man asked. "I don't think it's because we broke his car." She said as she pulled the shirt on. "I think he's pissed because I beat the crap out of him."

Whistler sniffed. "Hah. You!? You're only twenty or so. And as far as he's told me you're completely human. I doubt that you're telling the truth."

Josh smiled and walked towards the closed door. "Then how do you explain the fact that I put an unconscious Blade into the trunk of his own car, stole it and then rescued you all in the same night?" Josh then left the room leaving the now human Whistler to himself.

****************

Downstairs Evan was currently looking over all the weapons that Blade's new partner Scud had made. "So this stuff kills vampires eh?" Evan asked. "Can I have some?"

Scud looked confused at Evan's request and then pulled his morning doobie out of his mouth. "Man why are you so into killing vamps? You're one of them also." He said. "What's the point?"

"Umm, repenting my sins?" Evan offered weakly. "Sides' making people turn into dust is cool."

Scud took a long haul off his joint and puffed the smoke at Evan. "Look, I don't see why I'm not killing you right now. You are the enemy." He said attempting to be menacing while holding a silver stake.

Evan raised an eyebrow. "You'd have to hit my heart. You do know that don't you." Scud nodded. "But you see, I have these nanite things. You know what they are?" Scud shook his head. "I didn't think so. Anyway, these nanites have built an adamantium casing around my heart. See, Blade was hammering away at my heart last night. All he's got to show for it is a little scar, which might not even be there due to the little nanites regeneration powers as well as my own. Oh yeah, and that whole near castration thing. You might not want to ask him why he's in the bathroom so long today." Evan paused and spat in the human's face. "Jerkass."

Scud reared his hand back and impaled the stake into Evan's chest. "YOU LIE!!!"

CLANG!!

Josh then came up behind Scud and kicked him in the nuts with steel toes. "Read Mac!" He said just before Scud fell to the floor unconscious from pain. Josh smiled. "Not only that but me and Evan are superior in power to Blade. I have Spider powers and Saiyan powers, Evan has Vampire, Nanite, and Saiyan powers as well as electric stuff and magic." Josh then blink blinked. "Speaking of which. Hey Evan."

"Yeah?" Evan responded as he pulled a stake out of his chest.

Josh smiled. "I've always wondered what Blade would look like as a chick.... give him a Jusenkyo curse."

Evan raised his hands, they glowed for a second and then the vampire smiled. "Done and done. I also gave one to whistler, and scud. Whistler is a Panda, Blade is a chick and Scud should be a penguin."

Scud stared disbelievingly. "I'm a penguin?"

Evan created a bucket of cold water and splashed Scud who turned into... a penguin!!! "I'll bet penguins taste good with sweet and sour sauce." With that Scud fled, wobbling away at an alarming speed.

Evan lined him up with his trademark chrome 9 millimeter and squeezed of one round just inches behind the fleeing penguin. "RUN!!! RUN FOR YOUR PATHETIC PENGUIN LIFE!!!!" Evan screamed, baring his fangs and howling in laughter.

Josh heard a surprised roar and a shocked, feminine scream. Josh chuckled. "This is going to be fun." She stated before stealing a bunch of Blade's weapons and an extra set of his vampire killing clothes.

*****************

Later that night. Everyone was sitting around in their cursed forms at a table except Evan who didn't have a cursed form. Josh smiled and set down her cards. "I win!" she said and raked in all her winnings from poker which consisted of clothing. Blade was currently down to her vest and a pair of boxers. Evan had all his clothes on thank god.

All of a sudden alarms went off. The penguin walked over to a console which showed a camera angle of two figures running through their hideout. "QUACK QUACK QUACK!!" It yelled over to Blade.

Whistler Panda walked over to the Penguin Scud. "Growf mumble mumble." WHACK!! Whistler then smacked penguin-chan across the room and grabbed a shotgun.

Josh and Blade took two swords and got into ready stances as they scanned the complex. Blade still had no clothes on Josh was wearing most of it.

They weren't looking in the right place at the moment though and a surprise attack came from above. Blade blocked with his sword and was about to start fighting hardcore with the ninja clad woman but Josh webbed her completely. The other ninja vampire dude landed by Whistler panda and then got mauled in his state of confusion.

{Yes I'm a bastard by ending all these fights so quickly.}(I hate you poopy)

Evan just stood around as some dude in spandex got mauled by a panda and some chick, also in spandex got webbed to the wall. "Man, nothing cool every happens to us." Evan said, disappointed at something he was thinking of earlier. "I mean, everything has been done before. Killed shit, ate stuff, had rampant sexual episodes with pink skinned ladies, and did used to be cool vampire things."

Josh looked over at his friend. "Shut up Evan." He then turned back to the chick vampire that was plastered to the wall. "Who are you?" She then ripped off the girl's mask.

She then began to talk. "My name is Nyssa. I am a representative of the vampire council. We've come offering Blade a truce." Nyssa then looked confused. "Where is Blade?" She wondered.

Josh smiled and made a Jeopardy wave to the now female Blade. "Heeeeeere's ERIC!!!" She said. Blade looked very pissed off.

Nyssa growled. "Don't play games with me human. Where is Blade?"

Blade stepped forward and lowered her head. "I am Blade." She said. "I haven't exactly been having fun in my new body. Ass hole over there hit me with some sort of magical water curse thing."

Nyssa glared at Evan. "You did this to the Day walker? But you are only a turned vampire. Not even pure bloods have magical abilities."

Evan cocked his head to the left. "Oh? Well now. I must be bullshiting my way through existence. I mean 'not even pure bloods have magic.'" Evan smiled. "MOCKERY!!!"

Josh smiled. "Well then. You might as well take us to your leader then. I believe Damaskinos is expecting us."

Nyssa looked shocked. "How do you...?"

Josh put up her hand to shut her up. "PSSHH! I watch a lot of movies... or... I did. Shut up ho!"

***************

Later on in a chopper headed for the guarded fortress of Damaskinos the oldest living Vampire, Nyssa was sitting across from Blade and was looking at her inquisitively. "You don't look very dangerous." She noted. "Your not even a man."

The penguin sitting beside Blade looked up at the Dahmpir. "QUACK QUACK QUACK!!!" It screamed. Blade opened his trench coat and smiled. It was loaded with high explosives. Enough to level four city blocks. The penguin then clenched it's wing like things and looked constipated. "QUACK QUACK QUACK!!!!!!!" It screamed.

Josh frowned. "I hate penguins!!" She screamed before booting penguin Scud out the chopper into the streets of Prague. He went splat real good.

Evan looked over to the place where the penguin used to be. "Damn, there goes my snack. Anyone got a human? Blood bag? Cheeze poofs?" He asked but to no avail, Nyssa, Josh and Blade ignored him good. "FUCK YOU ALL!! I HATE YOUR STINKY FACE HOLES!!! POO FRO!!!"

Blade turned to the profanity spewing Evan and slapped him across the face. Evan smiled and licked the small stream of blood that started to come from his mouth after a canine impacted with his cheek. "I hate you too Blade."

Blade smiled. "I know."

Josh grabbed some of the vampire cure from blade, mistaking it for serum and jabbed it into Evan. "Here's some Serum, that'll tide you over.

Evan then turned human after lots of screaming and pain as the nanites tried to counteract the powerful unknown substance which eventually took over.

**************

Later on they arrived in the fortress and began to walk in the direction of Damaskinos' personal lair. Nyssa inserted this little tube thingy into this other thingy and then this draw bridge thingy came down and allowed them to enter.

Damaskinos greeted them. "Welcome Daywalk... where is Blade?" He asked.

Josh stepped forward. "I AM SPARTACUS!!!"

Evan then stepped forward. "I AM SPARTACUS!!!"

Blade then punched then both in the back of the head. "I'm Blade." He said, glaring at Damaskinos.

Evan rubbed his back. "I hate you Blade."

Josh groaned. "Yeah, me too."

Evan looked over at Josh. "You made me human. I hate you Josh."

Josh looked confused. "I thought you'd want to be human. Sides' I thought it was serum."

"I still hate you. You took my cool power. Now I've got lightning and magic and nanites and Saiyan stuff. It's practically nothing!! I'M DEFENSELESS AND HUMAN IN A FUCKING VAMPIRE BASE!!!" Evan screamed, getting the attention of Damaskinos.

"You're human? Nyssa said you were one of the turned." The old vampire said.

"Fuck you old man. You are part of this!! BASTARD!!!" He screamed again as he grabbed a random weapon which happened to be nun-chucks and attacked Damaskinos. The nuns screamed as they impacted and splattered all over the immortal. "I HATE YOU SOO GOOD!!!"

Nyssa and everyone else looked confused at the gore splattered area. "Your friend's powers are illogical and can not possibly be." Nyssa said to Josh.

Josh stared at her for a moment and then randomly squeezed one of Nyssa's butt cheeks.

"ILLOGICAL!!! EAT NUN!!!" Evan screamed as he hurled another magically summoned nun at the vampire.

*****************

Meanwhile back in some random spot on normal Earth, let's call it Iowa. "OH SWEET GOD!!! WHERE DID SISTER ANGELICA GO!?!?!" screamed a random minister in a random Catholic Church in the randomly selected area of Iowa. Now back to the story.

************

Everyone calmed down in a moment and Damaskinos began to explain the reason's behind the truce. He talked about genetics and evolution and diseases. Most of it went over Josh and especially Evan's head.

Josh smiled as she got the general gist of it all. "So Damaskinos you want us to beat the crap out of these reaper things?"

"Precisely." The vampire lord said.

"Okay." Evan and Josh said simultaneously.

Blade and the rest then left.

****************

Evan, Josh and 'the crew' walked downstairs in Blade's hideout to meet the mysterious entities known as the Blood Pack. Evan lead the way, figuring that if any of them acted up he'd just bust out the nun-chucks and toss nuns at them till they left. When he got downstairs though he took a step back, his mind registering only the fact that there was some guy in samurai armor and he had cool swords. "SW33T!! SWORDS!!" Evan called out as he rushed the one called Snowman. But Blade held him back, Blade being in his male form now after asking Evan nicely how to reverse the curse for periods of time.

"Hold up idiot." Blade said in his normal 'pissed off' voice. "These are mine."

Blade went into a long dumb speech about working as a team and got the names of the people working for him and did cool stuff with a stake and slapped a silver nitrate bomb on the back of this big guy's head. After Blade left Evan approached Snowman.

"Hey Snowman. You got cool swords, can I touch them?" Evan asked.

Snowman shook his head solemnly. "No, these swords are a symbol of my family. Not until death shall I part with them."

Evan pondered this for a second. "So all I have to do is kill you and can play with your swords?"

Snowman nodded and glared at Evan. "Yes."

"SW33T! I'll fight you right now! But none of that killing stuff. Blade might have a period over that. Oh burn." Evan said as he cracked his neck and slouched forward, arching his back and putting himself into a feral position. He snarled at the samurai vampire who snarled back and got into his own more proper fighting position.

Evan smiled evilly. "No weapons now samurai." He said in a dark voice, his eyes flickering to black by his magical energies alone. Snowman drew both of his swords and set them down respectfully to his right, mouthing a small prayer to the Blood Gods.

"You know not who you are fighting. I have trained in the arts for hundreds of years." The samurai said menacingly.

Evan's smile grew darker and more sinister. "I truly could not care." He said, invoking demonic strength through a small spell.

Snowman lunged at Evan with a series of well placed kicks and punches which Evan blocked without moving anything but one forearm. The samurai pushed himself backwards and watched his foe rise with an audible snap of his own spine. Standing erect Evan's eyes flashed crimson and he fell back to the floor, skittering on his arms and legs like a simian as his body had broken itself and reformed to suit this mode of transportation. The 'human' barreled towards the vampire and leapt onto his chest, tearing a large portion of it out with little effort and completely neglecting the ancient armor. Snowman fell to the ground and curled into a fetal position screaming in agonizing pain. Evan's smile grew and he stood up again, his spine snapping back into a more human posture and his eyes returning to their natural deep brown colour. Evan walked over to the discarded swords and picked them up. Kicking Snowman onto his back Evan positioned him spread eagle and broke the swords in two. He took the halves of one sword and shoved them through the wrists of the Oriental vampire, pinning him to the ground. He did the same to his ankles and summoned a wavy obsidian sword and shoved it into the vampires chest and walked away to his quarters, leaving the once proud vampire to bleed on his former enemies floor.

*************

Josh frowned as he thought back to Evan's run in with the vampire known as Snowman. "That was weird."

*************

Later on the blood pack, Blade, Whistler, Josh and Evan were walking towards what was supposedly a vampire safe house. "There it is." Nyssa said. As she pointed at the dilapidated warehouse of sorts.

"There's nothing here." Blade said, looking over at Nyssa. "No vampire Glyphs."

Nyssa then held up a pair of binoculars to Blade who took them and looked through them. He could then see through them a vampire glyph that marked the building as a safe house through them. As he looked through them Nyssa explained it. "We've had to change our ways because of you. We are much more careful now."

Josh chuckled. "Heh. We are veryvery sneaky." She said, quoting Mr. Deeds.

Nyssa rolled her eyes and they all went forward, entering through a storm cellar. The only way they would catch the Reapers is to go where the food is. Since Reapers fed on vampires a safe house would be a perfect place to hunt them.

**************

author's notes: {Well we decided to go to Blade two because we just rented the movie and it kicks ass. I honestly thought it was better than Spider Man the movie. The CGI was far better to begin with, action wise? No competition. Blade rules. Yes I know we purposely cheaped out on several things and did completely random things but hey, this is all improvised. We do this on our spare time. We were high on stupidity when we wrote the Digimon part. That was just funny as hell. Sorry to anyone who even remotely liked that show. Also someone e-mailed me saying that he(or she) was upset because we didn't stick with regular DBZ continuity when we went there.........OF COURSE WE DIDN'T IT'S A FANFIC!!! ONE THAT IS IMPROVISED AND COMPLETELY RANDOM!!! Honestly though who would gripe about that crap. Shape up you little whippersnapper.}

(Ok, I did the strangest thing I have ever done when writing SI. I was serious. Whilst kicking Snowman's ass I was 'concentrating' on making it cool. This will never happen again. Anyway, the person who complained about the DBZ thing what the hell are you thinking? I mean, I, a massive DBZ fan went into that universe, butchered it and didn't look back since because it is (key words here) a (wait for it) fucking (emphasis) FAN FICTION!!! Otherwise known as a Fiction written by Fans. Ok so we did look back, and I personally laughed my ass off (Josh says me too.). It was the most comically disturbing thing I have had a hand in writing since we went through Digimon. Fuck dude, live a little! If you still have bitter feelings e-mail me and I will inform you on the ways of Fan Fiction, come on, I need a good laugh. Bastard. So speaks Evan the Mighty)

{We harbor no ill will towards anybody who reads our fanfics but still... come ON man!}

(Also anyone who feels we have 'blasphemed' against Anime or Movie Gods can go to a website called www.suckmyass.com.)

{It probably exists.}

Morden Night: mordennight@hotmail.com

http://mordennight.tripod.com

Agasaki Ishano can be reached at: evanthewanderer@hotmail.com

(I am also working on an online Resident Evil based RPG which will be at the following address in an unspecified amount of time. E-mail me if you have any ideas or want to help.)

http://residentevil29.tripod.com