Self Insertion
Chapter 30
This Friend, This monster.
JD smiled as he left the church. “Well that was cool.” His daughter giggled as she watched the holy place burn down. “I can see I’m going to have trouble with you.” JD noted as he walked towards what he thought was the Tendo dojo. He took a moment to reflect on his life. *Let’s see.* He thought. *I was normal... then I was thin and normal... then I was turned into a rock monster... then I was impregnated by a man named Kuno... then I had a baby .* JD then made a sudden realization. “My life got fucked up fast.”
***************
Evan stepped out of one of the military tanks smiling. The soldiers all had their guns trained on him, as they had since he beat up the driver of the tank, stole his sidearm and tried to kill everyone in the tank before being almost shocked to death by a shock stick wielding gunner. Evan rubbed the electrical burn on his right arm for a second and squinted in the sun. “So, when do I get to kill shit?” He asked the nearest soldier, who edged away in response.
BBD (Burny Black dude, if you didn’t read the last chapter... and if you had not skipped it I wouldn’t have to write this and waste perfectly good time which I could have used to like feed my cat or something...) grimaced, this was turning out for the worse so far. The enigma named Evan was a pain in the ass. “You can kill things after you have been trained.”
“You mean brainwashed! I’M LEAVING!!” Evan kidney shot the guard nearest him and ran away.
****************
Three days later. Josh and Nabiki were sitting in the living room at a table going through the wanted adds in a paper. Nabiki pointed one of the adds out. “An okinomiyaki place is opening in a couple months.”
Josh smiled as he seriously considered it. “I don’t think so... I should get a job as soon as possible, y’know so I can start helping out right away.”
Nabiki smiled. “Well there’s other ways to get money.”
Josh smiled at her. “You’re not suggesting I go into prostitution are you?”Before Nabiki could answer Josh pointed out another one. “What about this one?”
Nabiki looked at the one that the blonde haired westerner was pointing to. “Small time actors?” She then looked up to him “They, wh...” When she looked up she was scant millimetres from his face. Nabiki cleared her throat and moved away a little. “They want trained actors and... and martial artists. It’s a kung fu movie.”
Josh smiled. “Aheh! Yeah. Well I have some small time experience in acting. Your Dad, or even Ranma could teach me some martial arts I’m sure. I’ve seen Ranma in the mornings, he’s really good.”
Nabiki smirked. “He? Or she?”
Josh chuckled. “Heh. Either one is true.”
Josh and Nabiki then laughed for a bit. Just before Evan climbed over the Tendo wall and ran over to Josh. “JOSH!! THEY’RE AFTER ME!!!”
“You’re not running away from those guys again are you? We just got the wall and the dojo fixed.” Josh replied quite sardonically.
Just then a few tanks smashed through the wall and the dojo, as helicopters flew by, and Police and SWAT cars pulled up to the house.
“Whoops... Um... can I crash here for a bit?” Evan asked, not really weighing out the situation.
“No.” Josh said as he pushed him back into the waiting arms of a soldier, who proceeded to slap handcuffs on him.
“Ah Fuck.” Evan said as he was led back to the tank brigade and tied into his seat.
***********
Back at the military base, Evan smiled as he stepped out the tank, a second electric scar slightly lower than the first one on his right arm. BBD did not look impressed. “What the fuck are you thinking?” BBD asked in a very pissed of tone.
“I’m trying to get fired.” Evan said with a grin.
All of the soldiers in the vicinity cocked their respective weapons and took aim. BBD waved them off, some disappointed moans were heard and Evan was lead into a simple brick building and put into a room with a one way mirror. BBD entered moments later and took the handcuffs, ropes, duct tape, and chains off of Evan that the soldiers had used just to keep him still. Evan’s grin grew and he let out a little laugh. “More than you can handle?” he asked BBD.
“No. I’ve had worse.” BBD said.
“Well, I guess I’m not trying hard enough.”
“Just don’t try anything else and you will become one of the highest paid individuals in the military.” BBD offered.
Evan’s grin shrunk down until he was looking solemn faced at BBD. “Why do I need to work for money, I can just kill and steal when I need something. I mean honestly! I’m the type of person who would walk into a KFC lock the doors and shoot everyone for a single piece of popcorn chicken. I’m that crazy and I damn well know it.”
BBD took a deep breath. “I doubt even you would go that far.”
Evan started to grin again. “Well, I wouldn’t mind some chicken right now, give me a big gun and something to lock the doors, I’m in the mood to hit up a KFC.”
BBD shook his head. “I can’t do that.”
Evan faked a sad face. “Why? Do you not want me to kill things for money?”
BBD frowned. “Only certain things can be killed for money.”
“Nuh uh! I killed lot’s of people for their money!”
BBD hung his head, drew a magnum and shot Evan in the chest. He motioned to the mirror that he wanted Evan hauled out of there.
************
Evan awoke in a field of some kind of green plant. “What the fuck?” As soon as he said that a shitload of armed men rushed him screaming things in a weird language that sounded like, ‘Budda Budda Budda!!’. Evan shook his head in disbelief. “What the fuck! I mean WHAT THE FUCK!!! Evan was then knocked unconscious by the butt of a rifle.
***************
Evan then awoke again. “Well this is unpleasant.” He noted as his head threatened to explode. He noted that he was hanging upside down by a rope tied to his feet.
Just then a dude came in, he had greasy long black hair and was really ugly... like he picked too many pimples on his face when he was a kid. Evan laughed at him while pointing. The man frowned and pulled a machete from a table. “Choo tink dats funny hombre!?”
Evan laughed more. The dude slapped him, making him spin around. Evan had a magnum behind his back and shot the guy as he turned. Evan then shot the rope and fell on the floor. “OOOOWOWWW!!!!” Evan then ran away.
In a few minutes Evan came across a dirt bike that was place near a large wall. Evan looked at the wall, then the bike, then the wall, then the bike, then the wall and the bike again. “That is fucking impossible.”He stated out loud as a hoard of Columbians rushed him with guns waving. Evan shrugged and reached behind him and drew a 50 calliber machine gun out of no where. “Good to know that my pocket universe is still intact.”He said as he ripped the hoard into little tiny pieces with gratuitous machine gun fire. He then put the machine gun away and got on the bike, finding the key in the ignition he started it and made a blind drive at the wall just as the sound of rotor blades entered his ears.
On the other side of the wall, two Columbians were having a delightful chat.
“So I visited my mother on the weekend.” Manuel said to his friend Chico. (Everyone from below Mexico and places like that are called either Chico, Manuel or José)
“Oh, how is José?” Chico asked.
“Good.” responded Manuel as a dirt bike cleared the wall not twenty feet behind them.
“Good.” Chico said as the dirt bike landed on his skull and snapped his neck before grinding his flesh into pulp.
Evan smiled as he unconsciously shot Manuel with his precious desert eagle. “Heh. Triple X had the right, Gravity defying, idea.”
*******************
BBD smiled as he watched the military-esque people that he owned bring in Evan who into his office. “Well, well, well! It seems I got myself a secret agent!”
Evan looked weak and possibly dehydrated. “Need... beer... now.”
BBD shook his head. “I’m sorry I can’t have you drinking on the job. It would be unethical.” Evan then got out of the grasp of his captors and rushed BBD. Evan came up behind him and bit him on the neck. “What are you doing?” BBD asked.
“RRRGH VAMPIRE!!”
BBD just stood there. “Oookaaay.”
Evan was then knocked unconscious for the umpteenth time.
*****************
3 hours later Evan woke up, he looked around for a second to get his bearings and noted that he was not in Kansas anymore, nor was his little dog toto with him. He shook his head trying to get the grip on reality he had lost so long ago. *Ok... dressed in normal clothes... on some sort of helicopter... feels like I have a gun holstered on my chest... bunch of guys in military clothes aiming guns at me... regular day. * Evan smiled groggily at the soldiers. “Are we going to the duchesses’ tea party?”
The soldiers looked confused. “What the hell is this guy talking about?”, and “He’s our special agent?” were the questions asked amongst the military people on board the copter.
Evan peeked out the window behind him. “Where are we going?”
One of the soldiers smiled. “Oh we’re going on a little trip.”
“Disneyland?” Evan asked.
The soldier just frowned. “No.”
“Damn!”
**************
Josh smiled as he walked up to the theatre where Nabiki was waving at him. Josh smiled back and picked up the pace a bit, jogging over to her. “Hey Nabs! What was it you wanted me to do?”
Nabiki smiled. “I wanted you to accompany me to a movie... I’m meeting a contact there.”
Josh looked slightly confused. “Aaaaand what is my role in this?”
Nabiki smiled and wrapped her arm around his. “You’re my protection. This guy’s kind of a bruiser and has a big temper.”
Josh smiled sardonically at the girl. “So what do I get out of this? I don’t do things for free.”
Nabiki smiled. *me likey.* “I get you a high paying job of your choice, based on your skills.”
Josh nodded. “Sounds fair. So what movie are me going to meet this guy at?” Josh asked.
Nabiki smiled. “A walk in Manhattan.”
Josh shivered. “That title sounds like a mix between bad and worse.” Josh paused and touched his temples with his fingers.. “Let me guess it stars Jennifer Lopez, Mandy moore, and the guy from Red Dragon.”
Nabiki giggled and dragged him into the theatre.
“Damn!! I was right.”
*****************
The helicopter landed in the USA in another military facility. Evan stepped off, looked under his complementary tan trench coat and noted that he was carrying a customized magnum and had a few quick loads for it in a nearby pocket. *Nifty... now If I can kill all these people, hyjack the helicopter, learn how to fly it and go back to the tendo dojo I can get on with life... end up in a retirement home... but before that have a wife, 2.5 children a minivan and a white picket fence.... and the BIGGEST FUCKING LIQUOR CABINET THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN!!! * Evan smiled broadly and patted the magnum. *Here goes nothing. * He pulled out the magnum and was knocked out from behind for the umpteenth time again.
***********
He woke up in a containment cell, wearing only a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. He shrugged, and brought a breeching charge from nowhere and attached it to the door. Five seconds later he was free. He pulled out a Submachine gun and started to walk towards the exit.
**********
Josh frowned as the dull, paralysing boredom of the chick flick numbed his senses. He looked over to Nabiki who was eating popcorn(which she made him buy for her). She seemed to be enjoying it... Jenifer lopez had just proposed to Flipper and The guy from red dragon was eating Mandy Moore(who was liking it). “When’s your contact gonna get here!?!” Josh complained to his companion. (Date)
Nabiki looked at her watch. “Huh. I guess he didnt want to come...”
Josh sighed. “Can’t say I blame him.”
Nabiki smiled and put her hand on his leg. “Well we spent the money to get in here... we might as well enjoy the rest of the movie.”
Josh chuckled slightly... “I don’t know if ‘enjoy’ is the word I’d use.” Josh then noticed about three minutes later that Nabiki hadn’t taken her hand off of his leg. He looked over to her and she looked back... just smiling. Josh then pointed down to his crotch area where her hand was slowly travelling towards. “Do you want that back or is it comfortable where it is?” He asked.
Nabiki took her hand away. “Oh dear. I hadn’t even noticed.”
Josh frowned... *Bad....bad...BAD acting.* He then mentally added. *The movie too. Watching this movie would be good torture for Evan. Maybe keep him in line.*
Speaking of which...
********************
Evan walked calmly into the Tendo dojo a short time after effectively destroying an entire military base. He grinned, “Mecca’s make great getaway vehicles... especially ones that have incredible destructive capabilities.”
Soun looked on in horror as Evan kicked off his shoes, he pointed at the teen. “YOU!! YOU THE DESTROYER OF MY HOUSEHOLD!!! YOU CANNOT BE HERE!!! LEAVE!!!! AHHH!!!!” Soun then spouted tears, half expecting his house to be demolished that minute by tanks and SWAT vans.
Evan shrugged. “Yeah...about that.... sorry.... and where is Josh?”
Soun crawled away from Evan at an amazing speed. “NOT HERE!!! NOT HERE!!! HE LEFT!!! MOVIE!!! LEAVE!!! GO FIND HIM!!! STAY AWAY!!!”
Evan smiled. “Ok...”
Just then Kasumi walked in. “Oh, your Josh’s friend right?” Evan nodded. “Please. Stay, have some tea.”
Evan looked at Kasumi, then Soun and back to Kasumi. “You know... that would be lovely.”
Kasumi smiled (As usual) and led Evan into the kitchen to prepare some tea while Soun cried... alot... like more than normal.... I mean.... where does he get all that water.... jeeze... does he drink a koi pond for breakfast and a swimming pool for lunch or something.... its not normal.... anywho... back to the story type thing....
A few minutes later Kasumi and evan were sitting out on the back step drinking their respective teas. “This is good tea Kasumi. Thanks for not shunning me like some kind of evil who brings death and destruction where ever he goes... like I kinda am...”
Kasumi smiled. “Oh it’s no problem, I don’t mind cleaning.”
“Yeah... but I mean, I got whole walls destroyed and the next time I’m here they’re all fixed... what’s up with that?”
“I fix things fast...” Kasumi said faltering slightly in her words.
Evan nodded. “So it seems... well, you do a good job of it if my opinion counts for anything.”
Kasumi smiled. “Thank you.”
*****************
{Is anyone seeing a pattern?}
Josh smiled as he entered the Tendo home. “Well that was a boring date.” He said. “But you made up for the chick flick with the free food and hot sex.” He added as he and Nabiki entered the house.
Nabiki looked at him confused. “Sex? We didn’t have sex.”
Josh laughed. “Yeah but it was funny cause your dad was standing right there!” He then noticed Evan sitting on the porch like thing with Kasumi. Josh frowned and automatically assumed the worst. Kasumi giggled as she noticed Josh.
“Your friend is quite funny Josh.” She said to him as Evan amused her with slights of hands involving pulling random objects out of his pocket dimension.
“I’m sure he is Kasumi... I’m sure he is....” Josh gave Evan a glare that promised death and hurt, but Evan ignored it and continued to produce random objects. “Anyway, shouldn’t the military be after you Evan?”
“Combined might of both USA and Japan by now.” Evan said thoughtfully as he produced a small rabbit. “Why the hell do I have this in here?”
Josh smiled at Kasumi. “You don’t want to know.”
Evan thought about it for a second, then a look of realization crossed his face. “The lesbian! Of course!! She’s still in there!!... redecorating I’ll bet.”
Josh looked confused. “Since when did you have a lesbian in your personal pocket dimension?” He asked.
Evan shrugged. “One of the Jusenkyo cursed people from Lesboverse.”
“That was an interesting universe eh Kasumi?” Josh asked.
Kasumi looked confused. “I’m sorry what?”
Josh just sighed. Nabiki then smiled. “Hey Kasumi. Me and Josh are going out now.” She said as she threw her arms around Josh from behind.
“WHA!!!?!?!” Josh said looking confused. “When the hell did this happen!?! All I did was take you to a move!”
“On a date.” Evan stated.
Soun then came up from behind the two and put his hands on their shoulders. “Ha ha! My boy! I see you like my daughter Nabiki... Very well you are now engaged!”
Josh broke free of the mans grasp. “What the FUCK!?!?!? YOU CAN’T DO THAT!!! CAN HE DO THAT!?!?!?”
Evan produced a book of Japanese laws, flipped through it and nodded. “Yeah, he can... and did. But.... as the watcher overer of one Joshua VanHaltern, I demand a dowery!”
Soun frowned. “I don’t know...”
“50 yen.”
“Done.”
Soun reached into his pocket and grabbed out 50 yen and handed it to Evan. “It’s official. Josh, you can marry Nabiki and noone else unless negotiated with both myself and Soun Tendo.”
Josh growled. “You bastard!” He yelled as he made a lunge at Evan who threw the bunny at Josh, unbalancing him and making him stumble to the ground.
“Bunnies make good decoys. Now! We must celebrate Soun!! It’s not everyday someone gets engaged!” Evan offered.
Soun forgot his hate for the home wrecker and went of for a drink with him. Evan could only afford one bottle of Saki, at the cheap bar they went to which only costed 50 yen.
Josh frowned as he watched his new father in law and his ass hole best friend run away. “Fuckin ass hole!” He mumbled.
Nabiki smiled up at him. “What’s the matter? Don’t you like me? Don’t you want to marry me?”
Josh frowned. “Let’s just say I don’t like being forced into anything.”
Just then Ranma came outside yawning. “What’s all the racket? I’m trying to sleep.”
Josh frowned more. “I’ve just been engaged to one of the Tendo daughters against my will.”
Ranma frowned. “Join the club.”
****************
The next morning Evan woke up beside Soun, both of them were pantless, Evan’s eyes shot open. Soun groggily started to move and Evan hit him in the head with a nearby hobo shoe. The nearby hobo was not pleased. “HEY! THAS MY HOBO SHOE!!!”
Evan paused, blinked, blinked again and shot the hobo. The then tossed Soun into a nearby hobo wheelbarrow, he shot that hobo before he could complain. Pantless Evan wheeled a pantless Soun onto a nearby baseball field but not before passing a large building in the shape of an L. Soun woke up hours later, Evan had left far before that so he really had no idea how or why his pants weren’t where they were supposed to be.
****************
Ranma and Josh sat on the Tendo roof. “You got school tomorrow.” Josh said to the black haired boy. “That should be really fun ne?”
Ranma rolled his eyes. “School sucks. I never really much cared for the thing.” Ranma paused and then looked over to his Western companion. “Why don’t you have to go to school?” He asked.
Josh smiled. “Cause I’m a little over 20 years old.” Josh then sighed and lowered his head. “I have to get a job though... that and I’m sure Nabiki will somehow manage to enroll me in a college... She’s the kind of girl that wants an educated man.”
Ranma sniffed. “At least you know your fiancé somewhat... I’ve never met this Akane girl in my life... and she doesn’t seem too nice.”
Josh chuckled. “You think you have it worse... I was married to Kasumi at one point... now I’m engaged to her sister. It just seems... wrong.” Ranma nodded. Josh sighed. “At least you got your martial arts to back you up. That’ll help you out once you gain more friends and enemies. I’m just a normal chump with a friend who is an absolute maniac.”
Ranma looked thoughtful. “Was it that black haired guy that came by earlier who was being chased by the tanks? Man that’s weird.”
Josh snickered. “So says the man with the Jusenkyo curse that makes him turn into a girl version of himself.”
Ranma frowned. “Pfft! Not like I want to turn into a girl.” He said.
Josh snorted in humour. “You’re probably the only one. Can’t you see what you could do with that curse?”
Ranma shook his head.
Josh continued. “You can get into any place that only girls can go. You could go anywhere that guys can go... limitless possibilities at the splash of the right temperature water.”
Ranma looked thoughtful. “But it takes away my manhood.” He stated.
Josh breathed out a sigh of exasperation. “Ranma... Manhood is a state of mind! It’s all in here!” He said tapping his head. “Your curse means nothing to me... your dad... Akane’s dad. And there’ll probably be a few girls that come along later on that like you whether you’re in cursed form or not!”
Ranma smiled a little bit. “Really?”
Josh nodded and continued. “Your curse is a blessing Ranma... The people who truly love you are those that will accept you in your true form and your cursed form, no matter what. That’s why I wish I had one right now.”
Ranma looked into Joshes eyes as the boy turned away from him and looked towards the moon, all he could see was trust and sincerity... Ranma looked down at the koi pond, then back up to the sky, smiling. Moment later something big, and heavy came flying towards him. Ranma quickly leapt out of the way and landed a short distance away on the roof. “WHAT THE HELL!?!?!” He screamed as he looked to the thing that was occupying the space where he had just been sitting.
Josh smiled up at the rocky monstrosity that just landed, breaking some of the roof but not actually penetrating it. “Hey JD.” He said.
Ranma looked shocked. “This another FRIEND of yours!?!?!” he questioned while breathing heavily.
Josh nodded. “Yup.”
JD Turned and sat down beside Josh, ignoring Ranma for the moment. “Hey.” He replied.
“So how’s your week been?” Josh asked his gargoyle-esque friend.
“Odd.” He responded. “I had a baby, expunged it’s sins at a church and realized that she grows at an incredible rate... though now that her claws and wings have developed she’s seemed to slow down to a normal speed or human growth.”
Josh nodded. “Interesting. Where is she?”
“AAAAAAHHHH!!!!”
WHACK!!!!
“OWWWWW!!!!!!” Josh screamed as he held his face in pain.
The rock like thing that hit him stood up an the roof and frowned at JD. “DADDY!!!! I TOLD YOU TO WAIT UP!!! WHAT IF I GOT LOST!? I WANT CANDY!!!!”
Josh frowned and glared at the little girl... who he just realized now... had a penis coming out of her neck. “Ewwww.” Josh stated.
JD sighed. “Now you see what I have to deal with.” He complained to his best friend.
“A brat?” Ranma offered, getting a kick in his shin from the little rock gargoyle girl.
Josh chuckled. “Yeah! A miniature version of your frigging sister.” He added.
JD glared at the blonde haired man. “NOT FUNNY!!”
Josh chuckled. “Yeah right. Let’s go Ranma... It’s getting late.” Josh then turned to JD. “You staying anywhere tonight?”
JD nodded. “I figured me and hell spawn would stay in the broken bell tower on that church down the street.”
Josh nodded. “Fitting.”
“Ass hole.” JD muttered.
***************
Evan wheeled Soun back to the Tendo dojo later that night, after having a talk about waking up with no pants and being assured that nothing happened, but still being perplexed about the whole anti pants thing. He shrugged it off and hoisted the Martial Arts teacher over his shoulder and hauled him inside, only to be greeted by Kasumi and an angered Akane.
Evan waved with his free arm and set Soun down on a nearby couch. “Hey.” Evan muttered in an extremely tired voice.
Akane looked at Evan, his lack of pants and then her father, noting the lack of pants. She growled menacingly. Evan frowned, reached into his pocket dimension and pulled out a tanglefoot bag (A handheld trap involving a very sticky and reactive substance that enlarges on contact with air found in most fantasy universes) he signed and tossed the bag at Akane who punched it, assuming an attack. She was rewarded by loosing the ability to move for the rest of the night. Evan grinned, looked over at Kasumi, who frowned. “What?” Evan queried before gagging Akane with a hand towel.
Kasumi pointed at her sister. “Let her go.” She stated, seeming to be on the verge of angering.
Evan frowned. “Why? She was going to beat me up. I just want some peace and quiet for a minute, being chased by entire militaries isn’t easy or rewarding work you know.”
Kasumi continued to point. “If you don’t release my sister from whatever that goop is, then you can find peace and quiet elsewhere! And she had every right to assume the worst. Or did you expect a warm welcome, walking into our house with our pantless and unconscious father slung over your shoulders!”
Evan pondered this for a minute. “You’ve got a point there.” He reached into his pocket dimension and rummaged around for a minute, taking his time to prolong the time before Akane flipped out on him. “Got it.” He then produced a single piece of parchment with some strange glyphs on it. He then recited the meanings of the glyphs in draconic, a tongue neither Kasumi or Akane would fathom being able to speak.
As soon as Evan finished the contents of the tanglefoot bag hardened, and shattered into dust. Evan sighed and expected the worst. Akane and Kasumi were held breathless.
“Wha- What the hell did you just do?” Akane asked.
“Minor magic.” Evan stated, still speaking draconic before remembering and switching over to Japanese. “A small magic trick.”
“And what were those sounds you made?” Kasumi asked.
“Draconic... and it’s a language, spoken only by dragons and wizards.” {Though Evan is no longer a wizard thus any spell that he chants in another language could be potentially harmful to himself and others due to the fact that he has no mana reserves and no way of collecting mana from outside sources.}
“Dragons?” Akane asked in amazement.
“Yeah... can I go to sleep now?” Evan asked, pointing to the floor.
Akane and Kasumi both nodded staring dumbfounded as evan pulled out a small mattress, a blanket and three pillows. He then proceeded to pass out from exhaustion.
*********
Josh sighed as he looked over the letter Nabiki had given him the next day which clearly stated. “You have been accepted into Yamahachi’s Medical University. “Aaah Fuck!” He stated.
Just then Nabiki came into the guest room that he was staying in. “You better get ready before you miss your first class sweety.” She stated.
Josh shivered at the word ‘sweety’ coming from her mouth directed at him. He then frowned at her and held up the letter. “Medical school!?!?” He asked sternly. “How did you get me into medical school!?!?”
Nabiki shrugged. “Easily I manipulated legal documents and created fake high school grades for you... and a false identity.”
“What?” Josh asked baffled at his fiances words. “False Identity? What’s wrong with the one I have!?!?!”
Nabiki blink blinked. “It doesn’t exist.”
Josh frowned as he read his new drivers license. “But, Hamahiro Hamamohoto? I don’t even look Japanese!”
Nabiki smiled and pecked him on the cheek. “I made a complete fake family history for you so it’s all explained. Memorize it.”
Josh wiped the place on his face that she kissed. “Why medical school? I’m a freaking artist! I do cartoons and comics! I’ve failed math four times, and science twice. I will not fit in!”
Nabiki smiled “Don’t worry about a thing Ham Ham, Let me handle all of the logistics.”
Josh frowned. “Why did you just call me Ham Ham?”
“Hamahiro, Hamamohoto.... Ham Ham?” she offered.
“THAT IS THE MOST HOMOSEXUAL NICKNAME I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!”
All of a Sudden Evan walked by on his way to the pisser. “Morning Joshikins.”
Immediately after Ranma came into the guest room. “Hey Josh-chan. Do you have a map of Nerima handy? I want to see if there’s any good cheap restaurants around.”
Josh frowned. “Why does everyone always have to prove me wrong?”
***********************
Author’s notes: { Well that was a longer chapter than usual... but this new story arc is easier to write due to it’s back to basics ideas. Thus the title. Well I have to admit Nabiki does have her charms... but..., that’s a big but too, she’s way too manipulative and I’m way too gullible, thus a relationship with her would probably be a nightmare.{HAM HAM FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!} Yeah well that’s about it for me... oh yeah... we’re kicking JD off of the SI team because he’s never here to write with us. We’ll probably kill his character too. That’s a big probably, leaning more to the yes side. Alright we’re killing off his character. YA HAPPY!?!?!?}
(I’m actually having some fun with this new arc... unlike the old stuff that was repetitive and dull, despite the Pant Man battles. Those were always great... and classic... and I can speak draconic. And the whole Akane/tanglefoot bag thing needed to happen. I mean FUCK!!! SHE IS A HO!!! DIE MOTHERFUCKER HO FACE SLUT HEAD!!!.... bye)
Morden Night: mordennight@hotmail.com
Agasaki Ishano: evanthewanderer@hotmail.com
Snoogins