Self Insertion
Chapter 32
Almost Normal
One month later.
Evan sat prone in a church. His target was directly below him. The teen smiled as he looked his middle aged target over. He was getting fat, must have a desk job, probably drank a lot. *Waiter, one dead fat guy please!* Evan mentally said to himself while holding up a hand to signal an invisible waiter. *Is that all?... Yes please... Oh and on ice as well. ... Of course sir.... why thank you my good man.... oh think nothing of it.... but I must thank you.... oh fine, if you must.... * Evan stopped. *It is time.* he thought over dramatically as he focussed on freezing the blood in the man’s veins. Within a minute it was done. The fat old guy fell over dead and quite stiff. Evan left the church through the roof and walked away calmly. He pushed his ninja headband, which he had stolen from his teacher, up and smiled. “I am fucking bored.”
Evan had been training to be a ninja for the last two weeks, once the army had caught him again, and he and Josh had still not heard from the angel dude on what they were supposed to do to fix the universes. He’d been training almost non-stop with breaks only to assassinate an easy target like the fat paedophile priest that he just took care of. However Evan had noticed that his targets had been progressively harder... though with his ice powers it was much easier. He had trouble sometimes with people who had gained powers much like him and Josh. Those ones usually gave him a run for his money. Evan decided to go back to the secret spy base like thingy that he’d been staying at to get trained. His next lesson was on how to make illusions.
“Yeah. Ninja.” He muttered before rushing back to base.
*******************
Josh smiled as he walked into the new restaurant that had just opened up. “Hello. Welcome to the Uuchan.” Came a voice from behind the counter/stove. “You’re my first customer, what can I do for you. First one’s on the house.”
“Thanks.” Josh said with a smile as he sat down at one of the stools. “So you own this place eh?”He asked, taking a quick glance around the place.
Ukyo Kuonji smiled. “That’s right sugar. Hopin to make a bit of a profit. I make the best damn Okinomiyaki in Japan after all. So you’re one of the elfs?” She asked, trying to strike up a conversation on the strange mutations that overtook the entire world.
Josh chuckled. “Yep. Do you have any powers?” he asked.
Ukyo shook her head. “I ain’t got a clue sugar. I don’t really care though.”
“Ya know what?” Josh asked. “You remind me a lot of a friend of mine. Me and him are kind of living together...”
Ukyo smiled. “Really? Who?”
“His name’s Ranma. “Amazing martial artist... He’s been teaching me for a bit now... Are you all right?” He asked, feigning surprise as Ranma’s name triggered a reaction in the girl.
Ukyo snapped out of it slightly. “Huh? Oh I’m fine. I actually know him from some time ago.”
Josh continued to smile. “Really? You should come over sometime to catch up... you could meet his fiancé and my fiance... they’re sisters... it’s kind of how we met.”
Ukyo’s eyes bugged out. “F...fiancé!?!”
Josh nodded. “Yeah... kind of young don’t you think? 16? I mean I’m 20, 21, and I think I’m still too young to get married.”
Ukto inside was seething in anger and betrayal at the news she had just received from her new customer. “W...Would you like to have something to eat?” She asked, almost through gritted teeth.
Josh nodded. “Oh yes please... can I try the shrimp and squid special? I’ve always been partial to squid.” Ukyo nodded and mixed up the batter, pouring it onto the hot grill. Moments later a perfectly cooked Okinomiyaki was flipped up into the air and landed right on a plate that had been placed in front of Josh moments before it landed. Josh sighed as he saw this display of skill and agility. “I miss being able to do that.” He muttered.
“Enjoy!” Ukyo said with a smile, now genuinely happy to have a first customer to try out her food.
“Damn this is good.” Josh said in between bites. “Listen Ukyo, was it?”
Ukyo nodded, not really remembering giving the man her name but shrugged mentally and nodded. “That’s right... Ukyo Kuonji’s the name Okinomiyaki’s the game.”
Josh smiled. “Cute. Listen I’m in need of a job and saw you’re add in the paper a little bit ago... and I was wondering if I could get a job here. I’m currently going through medical school and I’ve got to have some income to manage myself.”
Ukyo smiled. “Sure! I’m surprised the add was answered that quickly... By my first customer no less.” The chestnut haired Okinomiyaki chef extended a hand and Josh grasped it. “Welcome aboard sugar.”
Josh smirked. “Should I call you boss now? Or master?”
Ukyo smiled. “Cute. Come in on Sunday Morning. I’ve still got to attend school so I can’t exactly keep the shop open during those hours. I’ll have to have you running things during then... it’d help with profits too.”
Josh smiled and got up off his stool after finishing off the last bite of his meal. “Great! I’ll see you then.” Josh then paused. “Oh. Hey. Can I call you Uuchan?”
This caught Ukyo off guard. “What?”
“That’s what the restaurant’s called. I assume it’s some sort of nickname or something?” Josh said.
Ukyo smiled... “Uhh. Sure.”
Josh waved goodbye and left.
*************
Later on Josh was standing by himself in the Tendo’s back yard in a pair of shorts and a muscle shirt. He had gotten Kasumi to give him a haircut earlier and now had a short spiked cut. He seemed to be concentrating really hard. “Come on, come on, come on!!!!” Josh then let his arms fall to his side. “DAMN IT!!!”
All three of the Ranmas were sitting on the veranda watching and laughing. “Just give up!” The female Ranma said.
“Yeah.” The first Ranma said. “What makes you think you have the ability to teleport anyway?”
“Maybe you only power was the agility and looks.” The second Ranma offered.
“NO WAY!!” Josh yelled. “I know I’ve got the power... I just can’t get it to work!” Josh then thrust out his arms towards the area that he wanted to teleport to. “BAMF!!” He yelled. He was rewarded with nothing but snickers from the Ranma twins. “SHUT UP!!” Josh yelled at them. “You’re ruining my concentration!”
Just then Nabiki pushed past the Ranma trio and took hold of Josh’s arm. “Practice is over. Come on we’re going shopping!”
Josh looked confused. “What shopping? I don’t even have any money. I only just got my job today.”
Nabiki smiled. “Well I’m shopping and you’re helping me.”
“This does not bode well.” Josh noted dully while allowing himself to be dragged away.
“Where’d you get a job?” The Ranma trio asked simultaneously.
Josh shrugged. Before being dragged out the door. “I don’t know some okinomiyaki place.” Moments later he and his fiancé were gone... shopping. For girl stuff. {Shudder}
*************
Evan peeked out of the bush he was currently hiding in. His master was trying to find him, his job was to prevent that and not kill his master in the process. “Is it.... safe?” Evan whispered, the sound then duplicated itself ten feet away.
SWISH! A shuriken struck where the duplicate voice had emanated. Evan smiled, his now slightly more honed senses allowed him to pin point his master’s position. Evan’s smile grew as he focused his powers on that area, effectively creating a ten by ten cube of ice around his master. Evan stood up. “YOU DIDN’T FIND ME!!! I PASS!!!!”
BBBD leapt out of another bush and slammed his now larger feet into Evan’s back, knocking him to the ground. He stood over Evan menacingly. “HOW MANY NINJITSU MASTERS DO WE HAVE TO BRING IN BEFORE YOU STOP KILLING THEM!?!”
Evan pondered. “At least 70.” BBBD made a swing at Evan, impacting with the boy’s chest. The teen coughed up a small amount of blood and grimaced.
“Have you heard my ‘you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry’ speech?”
BBBD nodded. “Like twenty times.”
Evan smiled. “Twenty one now. DON’T MAKE ME ANGRY!! YOU WOULDN’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY!!!” Suddenly the ground under BBBD became iced over and Evan hoofed him in da nuts, making the hariy bastard fall over and land on his ass, but not before sliding ten feet backwards.
BBBD quickly responded, rolling at the end of Evan’s ice slide and springing towards the boy. Thinking quickly, the teenager generated a throwing knife made completely of ice and tossed it forcefully at his ‘boss’. The blue mutant took the knife in the shoulder and that’s when Evan’s plan came together, he ran away.
***********
Josh grumbled as he sat in a chair beside the changing rooms of a ladies clothing store. “This sucks.” he muttered as his spaded tail wagged irritably in front of his face. Just then Nabiki came out of the change room wearing a long blue dress with a single strap over one shoulder.
“Well?” She asked. “What do you think?”
Josh sighed. “It’s lovely. Can we go now?”
Nabiki turned around while looking in the mirror. “In a bit Josh... we’ve still got to get your suit.”
Josh’s ears perked up. “My suit?” Josh then realised why she had dragged him out to this thing. She was going to take him out on a date. *Oh crap!* he thought. “Where are you taking me?”
Nabiki smiled. “You were invited to a University ball. Don’t you check your mail?”
“Ball?” The blue elf like person of a fiancé asked. “I thought Post Secondary places only had big beer swilling parties and Stags... or whatever.”
Nabiki held another dress up to herself. “Red or Blue?” She asked.
“Blue.” He responded.
Nabiki nodded and took the red one. “This is some of the upperclass University students. It’d be a good chance to meet some contacts.” She stated simply.
Josh rolled his eyes. “Great...”
Nabiki shivered. “Somebody must have hit the AC, It just got really cold in here.”
Josh groaned. “Oh God.”
Suddenly the wall behind Nabiki frosted over and shattered revealing a triumphant Evan. “FEAR NOT JOSH-CHAN!!! I HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU!!” The ice mutant screamed in plain english.
“What is he yelling about Josh?” Nabiki asked.
“Seems he’s doing something stupid. He’ll probably be charged with property damage and murder later on or something.” Josh said
“Later?” Evan responded, switching back to Japanese. “Here is the property damage, and I recently ‘killed’ another Ninja.”
Josh frowned. “You’re not a ninja Evan.”
“All I need is some Gamma rays or something and I can be a teenage mutant ninja turtle.” Evan returned.
Josh growled and held out a hand. “FIRST OF ALL!! You’re at least TWENTY ONE!!,” He said holding up one finger. “Second, Gamma Rays would make you the hulk, not a turtle, and Finally... YOU’RE NOT A DAMN NINJA!!!” Josh then paused and looked at his hand. “Damn... I can only count to three before running out on one hand...”
Evan smiled and held up five fingers. “FUCK YOU BUDDY I’VE GOT FIVE OF THESE BABIES AND I AM A NINJA!!!”
Nabiki looked surprised and a little disgusted. “Where’d you get those severed fingers?”
Evan looked around, started to whistle and began to back up. He then stopped, froze the fingers and shattered them and threw the remains at a cashier, who responded by changing her skin into metal. “Ah fuck.”Evan said.
“HEY!!!” The cashier screamed at Evan... just now noticing the wall. “YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT!!!” She then smashed through the cash counter and ran towards Evan.
Evan shrugged and froze the person where she stood, smiling until the cashier began to break out. “Ah fuck again.” The cashier brought her metallic fist back and started to swing at Evan, who responded by reaching into his pocket dimension, pulling out a C4 pack and slapping it on the Colossus like girl’s chest. “That may blow you up dead.” Evan said as the cashier was about to connect with the ice forming mutant’s face.
The cashier looked down at the pack of explosives. “It will kill you too.”
Evan gestured that the he wanted her to continue on the thought. “And....”
“You’ll be dead.”
“I’ve died a couple times, it’s no big deal. But I assume that this will be your first.”
The cashier started to look nervous, “Y-Yes... it would be.”
Evan grinned. “Don’t worry, it’s a fun experience... providing you have a pocket mage to cast a revive spell on you.”
The cashier started to look around frantically in hopes of finding some way of doing something about the bomb attached between her boobs. Evan started to slowly walk away... and then started to run, making the cashier even more nervous. The remaining customers edged out of the store.
Josh sighed and walked up to the cashier. “Is there a problem?” She just nodded frantically. “Do you know how much damage your new metal body can take?” She then shook her head frantically. Josh then took the Play Dough off of her boobs. “Did you realize that all he did was stick playdough on your boobs?”
The cashier began to get angry. “What?”
Josh smiled and looked down her shirt, then pulled her pants out a little. “He also copped a feel and stole your undergarments.” Josh then walked away. “Well, gotta go.” With that Josh left the store with Nabiki on his blue arm.
**********************
Evan smiled as he sat in the food court. Smiling as he licked his ice cream. “Mmmmmm. Me likey ice cream.”
“There you are!”
“AAAHH! IT’S DA PO!!” Evan screamed as he hid under the table.
“What’s the matter with you!!?” Josh said as he grabbed Evan and pulled him up from under the table. “Why are you constantly causing so much trouble!?! You never used to... okay well... it wasn’t this bad anyway!”
“Yeah, but I’ve never had super crazy powers before. I have to use them and to use them I must cause havoc!!!” Evan responded, holding one shaking fist in front of Josh’s face.
“YES YOU DID!!! You had magic, Ionizers, a symbiote, and at one point you were a vampire!!” Josh retaliated. “Can’t we at least try and be a bit normal the second time around?”
“Don’t forget the time I was Vegeta... I had big hair.” Evan said with a smile.
“And you consider ‘big hair’ a power?” Nabiki asked.
“You don’t read many DC comics do you?” Evan replied. (There is a character in the old ‘new titans’ comic who was an alien and she had absolute control over her hair, she flew with it, she killed people with it, everything. It was fucked up.) Evan then looked confused. “Why’d it take you so long to find me Josh? Normally you’re much quicker.”
Josh shrugged. “Nabiki wanted to get my suit before hand.”
Evan shook his head. “You are so whipped.”
Josh frowned. “The stores close at five!”
Evan then made a whip sound. “WHAPISH!!!”
“It’s an important party!” Josh said a little more angry.
“WHAPISH!!!”
Josh growled. “I had to find a suit that matched my skin colour!”
“WHAPPISH!!!”
“GOD DAMN YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!”
“WHAPPISH!!!!”
“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!” Josh screamed as he leapt towards Evan and began pummelling him. Evan continued to laugh but now in pain, since Josh was also being trained by Ranma and Soun. Nabiki just snickered as she watched the two fight for the next five minutes. *Molds like putty.*
Five minutes later Evan and Josh were breathing heavily as they sat across from each other. “Well...” Josh started. “This is surprising... (huff puff)... We’re actually equally matched.”
Evan smiled weakly. “I told you I was a ninja.”
Josh punched weakly at Evan, who responded by throwing the panties of Colossus cashier at Josh. The blue skinned elf caught them. “Woah... t-bar. That’s gotta be uncomfortable.”
Nabiki shrugged. “You’d be surprised.”
Evan shuddered. “TOO much info.” He said, imitating Captain Kirk.
Josh smiled. “Better than the granny panties Blink wore.”
“WHO TOLD YOU THAT!?!?!?” Evan screamed.
“Who’s Blink?”Nabiki wondered.
Evan looked around. “A mutant I was engaged to... I can’t remember If I married her though....Did I marry Blink?” Evan asked.
Josh shrugged. “I think you only got engaged to her... though now she’s in another dimension... kind of tough to get any action with that kind of distance eh?”
“You’re not getting any either.”Nabiki said with a glare.
Josh chuckled. “I’m too young to die!”
“Nabiki sex is deadly.” Evan stated.
Nabiki frowned. “I don’t get it.”
Evan started looking around randomly.
Josh sighed. “Sex leads to babies, babies lead to responsibility, responsibility leads to the dark side.”
“What?” Nabiki asked completely confused.
Evan nodded. “He’s right you know. Just look at me. I have a responsibility to kill people for money and then I go out and kill people. If that’s not like jumping into a Tuscan Raider camp and killing everyone before having your arm cut off I don’t know what is.”
Josh sighed. “I used to have sex with Kasumi daily... almost hourly actually. Then she had babies... and I wasn’t ready... I’m still not... but I do want to have sex with you.”
“ME!?!” Evan asked.
“No.” Josh said simply. “Just... no.”
“AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR ‘STANDARDS’ HUH!?!!? ANSWER ME!!?!?!” Evan screamed in mock drama.
Josh just glared at Evan... “There’s people watching...” He then turned back towards Nabiki. “Maybe with some form of birth control.”
Nabiki grabbed Josh’s hand and dragged him away. “Let’s go. We’ve got work to do.”
“SEX WORK?!?!” Evan yelled after them.
Josh then threw a kitten at Evan.
Evan caught the kitten in mid air. “I’ll call you muffy.” He then tossed it into his pocket dimension. Catra was suddenly hit by Muffy the kitten.
******************
An hour later Evan found himself confronted by BBBD. “You’re coming with me.” BBBD said in a demanding tone.
“How’s the arm?”
“Huh?” BBBD looked down at his injured arm, which was currently in a sling. “Oh, that’s just a nick.”
“Hmm... why the sling?” Evan asked in a flat tone.
“Element of surprise.” BBBD said as he rushed Evan and slammed his uninjured shoulder into the ninja’s gut, winding him. BBBD stopped dead, leapt into the air and planted his feet into the chest of the off balanced Evan.
“Uh.” Evan moaned as he felt some of his newly broken ribs floating around inside of him. He collapsed in a heap just as BBBD landed lithely beside the ice mutant’s crumpled body. The military man reached down to pick up the boy but recoiled when Evan’s body seemed to ice over completely. BBBD took a few steps back as Evan staggered to his feet. “I forgot I could go completely ice... and that was a bit of a mistake... anywho, where were we?”
BBBD rushed Evan again connecting solidly with his adversaries icy body and shivering slightly at touching it. BBBD stopped dead, Evan had not budged. BBBD swung a punch at him, aimed at the head and found the boy’s head shattering away. He then felt a slight tap on his shoulder.
“Decoy.” Evan said as he knocked his ‘boss’ unconscious.
*************
Josh frowned the next day as he stood in front of the mirror in his and Nabiki’s room. She was currently fixing his tie. “I understand that you wanted to have me look proper but you didn’t have to dress me completely.” He muttered to his fiancé who had moved on to fixing his belt. “Hey watch it.”
Nabiki smiled up at him. “I had to get a sneak peek of the package sometime before the wedding.”
Josh smirked. “I never knew you were so perverted.”
Nabiki shrugged. “A girls got a sex drive too.”
Josh nodded. “Good enough for me. Are we done yet? How hard can it be to straighten one tie?” Josh stated. Josh then smiled at his reflection in the mirror. “I am a sexy blue beast though aren’t I” He said as he struck a little bit of a pose.
Nabiki nodded and stood up beside him, her blue dress flowing down her curvy teenaged frame. “I’ll have to agree with you there.” She said.
Josh then looked startled as he saw Nabiki’s skin do... something. He turned around quickly to see if it was a trick of the light or something but she looked normal all of a sudden.
*Weird!* Josh noted mentally. *I could have sworn I saw something.*
****************
The ride to the rented hall for the party was uneventful. When Josh and Nabiki came out of the cab they were greeted by nobody so they decided to just walk up and enter in hopes that they were indeed at the right place. “So Nabiki...?” Josh asked his fiancé as they approached the building. “You said earlier on that you wanted to meet contacts at this party. What do you mean? Contacts for what?”
Nabiki smirked as she clung to her blue skinned, three toed/fingered, husband to be. “You’re going to medical school. Most doctor make quite a living, nd it’s good to have rich friends.”
Josh rolled his eyes. “Again with money. And I wanted to go to an animation school.” He said with a little bit of a growl.
Nabiki waved him off. “Oh please. Animators hardly make any money. Doctors are millionaires. I’m just planning for my families future.”
Josh chuckled. “So all of the swindling and such was just to get money to raise a family?”
Nabiki smiled. “I want my kids to be well off too. I’ve seen way too many families go to living on the street because they couldn’t get a good job. Being a doctor means automatically getting a good job.”
Josh smiled as he entered the building with his betrothed. “Nabiki... there’s a lot more to you than you put on.”
Nabiki smiled. Genuinely appreciating the compliment.
Josh then blushed and turned around as he added quietly. “And... You look very pretty tonight.”
Nabiki blushed slightly and held onto his arm a little tighter. They weren’t greeted at the door by anyone, all there was were a couple of signs that led the way to the main party hall. Josh wasn’t really very excited about the party. It was pretty much what he expected. A bunch of upper crust doctors, University students and their girlfriends or guy friends. There was slow boring music and a snack bar. The realization of the snack bar caught Josh’s attention. “Hey now!” He stated as he started dragging Nabiki in the direction of the food.
“Josh? Well! What do you know! I never thought you’d have come to this.” Came a familiar voice that stepped in the way of Josh and his precious snack bar.
Josh looked to the man who was now standing in his way and forced a smile. “Why Tofu! What a pleasant surprise!” He said.
Tofu chuckled a bit. “I Don’t see how. I did help organize this after all.”
Josh growled on the inside while continually holding up his fake good mood. “Nabiki, I’m sure you know doctor Tofu.” He said introducing them.
Nabiki smirked at the good doctor. “Of course. How are you doctor?” She asked holding out a hand in greetings. The doctor took it and shook it. “So you’ve been one of my fiancé’s teachers have you?”
Tofu nodded. “That I am. Though when Josh had said that he was engaged to you I did have my doubts. You still seem very young for him.”
Nabiki waved it off. “I’m very mature for my age.”
“Really?” Josh asked, before getting an elbow in the ribs.
Tofu continued to smile. “Well it’s good to see you two are getting along well. Enjoy the party.” Josh nodded, not really caring what the good doctor had to say and continued to drag Nabiki towards the snack table. Just then he was stopped by his fiancé as a new song began.
“Oh I love this song!” Nabiki said. “Come on ‘sweetheart’. Lets dance.”
Josh sighed as he was suddenly dragged towards the dance floor where couples danced to sappy music, that nobody actually liked listening to, just to get close to each other. He and Nabiki got into a slow dance stance and began to walk slowly in circles while pressing their bodies up against each other. “Well this is lovely.” He muttered monotonously and oh so sarcastically.
Nabiki frowned sadly. “You can’t possibly tell me that you don’t like this.” She said. “Don’t you like having a beautiful young woman pressed up against you?” Nabiki then came to a startling idea. “You’re not gay are you?”
Josh chuckled softly. “Are you kidding me? It’s taking all my will power to keep my little soldier from standing at attention.”
Nabiki looked sad again. “Then what’s the problem? I’m at a point where I’m about to tie you to the bed and rape you I’m so horny.”
Josh looked confused. “I’m sorry what?”
Nabiki smiled. “These last few weeks I’ve been lonely and then you came, and we got engaged and now every time you touch me I want more.”
Josh looked confused. *I’ve seen the Ranma series several times why does she seem so different? The last time I was here she kept to the background so much. She mostly just stayed in... her...room.* “Uhm. Nabiki?” Josh asked. “Have you had any love potions or horny pills lately?”
This seemed to strike a cord with Nabiki.
Josh was now suspicious. “Let me guess... the only way to dispel it is to have sex with someone.”
“And you were the first male that I saw that wasn’t related since I ate it.” She added for him. Josh sighed. He knew there was something way to awkward about the situation. “Wait!” Nabiki said. “I do like you though... I’ve gotten to like you... I just... I’m sorry if I lied to you. I really do want to get married.”
“Was it some person at school you blackmailed?” Josh asked.
Nabiki nodded. Josh then sighed then leaned in and kissed her. “Hey Nabs...” He started. “I said I’d stay with you... and I’ll do it if it’s really what you want.”
Nabiki smiled. “Thank you.”
Josh snickered in his mind. “Not even I would have been able to think this up.”
Just then{This one’s for you Evan.} Nabiki stepped in a puddle. “What is a puddle doing in the middle of the dance floor?” Nabiki asked, genuinely suspicious.
While Nabiki looked around, Josh was grabbed from behind and muffled by an old sock. Josh found himself led out of the building and into a nearby parking lot where he was released. “Saved you from wedlock again my friend.” A familiar voice stated proudly. “Except, I was a little late last time, and now I’m a touch preemptive.”
“GOD DAMN IT!! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO ENGAGED ME YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!” Josh screamed at his best friend.
Evan looked around nervously. “No I didn’t....”
“YES YOU DID!!!!”
“So....”
Josh then stormed back into the dance, leaving Evan outside.
“Next time I won’t save you from sex with a gorgeous Japanese woman!!!!” Evan screamed after him.
“OK!!” Josh hollered back.
“Ingrate.” Evan muttered as he reached into his pocket dimension and pulled out muffy. “We’ll still save him, won’t we muffy. Yes we will, oh yes we will.”
Josh smiled as he caught up to Nabiki again. “Sorry about that. Evan tried to kidnap me again or something. He’s gone now though.”
In short a bunch of stuff happened romance stuff too. Josh and Nabiki kissed later on at the Tendo house Soun got excited and now he’s making them get married the day after.
***********************
Josh frowned as he stood in front of the mirror in his and Nabiki’s room. “This. Seems. So. Familiar.” He muttered as he adjusted his tie constantly. “I don’t even know if she actually wants to get married cause she’s on some horny drug.” He then sighed. “Fuckin animes.”
Just then Evan walked into the room. “OH GOD PUT THAT BACK IN YOUR PANTS!!!” He screamed as he tried to cover his eyes.
Josh frowned. “It’s just a tail.” He stated.
“When’d you get that?” Evan asked.
Josh then fumed. “YOU’RE JUST NOTICING NOW THAT I HAVE A TAIL AND BLUE SKIN!?!?!?”
“Huh, what blue skin?”
Josh then held up his hands. “I suppose you hadn’t even noticed the fact that my hands are now only sporting two fingers each either.” He said with a smirk.
Evan smiled. “Oh I noticed... but it’s only all registering in my mind now. WOAH!! YOU’RE LIKE.... NIGHTCRAWLER!!”
Josh then turned towards the mirror again while rolling his eyes and continued to fix his tie... though it didn’t even need it. “Did you know that I’m getting married today too?” He asked nonchalantly.
“Oh I knew... Oh yeah... I knew.... Nabiki right?” Evan asked as he formed a pair of aviators from ice and put them on. “Mind if I tag along?” He said as he went to ice form and created an exterior that resembled a tux. “I could provide ice for the punch.” He said with a laugh.
Josh then looked over to his friend confusedly. “Weren’t you the guy that was trying to save me from marriage?” He asked.
“I’m also the guy who kidnapped you from your last wedding...”
Evan then was cut off by a face full of fist. Josh then rubbed his knuckled on his shirt. “I never properly thanked you for that have I?”
Evan stood up after he had been caught off guard by Josh’s punch. “Well Mr.Violent. Now that you’ve got that out of your system, can I come to your wedding. I mean, this time I’d know you were getting married, unlike last time when I was forced to fight Pant-Man and then warp out... but this time we don’t have to go anywhere... I can just kidnap you and take you to China or something, not another dimension.”
Josh smiled. “You forget young grasshopper. I can teleport now.”
“But you don’t know how to use it.” Evan retaliated.
“Fuck you.”
******************
Author’s notes: {How many chapters of this story have we ended with “fuck you?” hmmmm? A well it’s probably a lot. Cause that’s the phrase that cool kids use. Well I’m not got much thing to say so me throw to evaN.}
(Yup... lot’s of Fuck you’s... anywho... I hate Media class, I have to make a ‘portfolio’ and ‘present’ ‘it’.... Speaking of Pant-Man, he should show up soon.... or will he? DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!!.... Oh well, I’ve been considering something interesting... maybe I could do something ‘constructive’ for the SI ‘story’.... NAH. Buh Bye.... I HAVE A HELLO KITTY CD CASE!!!!!!)
{Yeah I’m in Evan’s Media class and I got picked to present first for portfolios... which SUCKED!!! cause I had nothing done. What a crock of SHIT!!! We’re listening to Weird Al right now... HIS NEW ALBUM!!! YEAH!!! WHOOO!! Special features ROCK!!! I like sock.}
(He thinks he has it hard! I got picked first for ISU’S!!! AND I HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED FILMING!!!! HELL MY STORYBOARDS AREN’T EVEN DONE!!! WOOOO!!! I RULE!!! MY SITUATION IS WORSE!!! MORE MARKS LOST FOR ME BITCH!!! WOOT!!)
{Evan that’s a bad thing.}
(I swear I do school like golf when it concerns ‘projects’... I hit it with a crooked stick and hope it goes far away.... then my mom makes me go after it. AND I AM ON THE GOLF COURSE CALLED LIFE MY FRIEND!!! NO ELECTRIC CARTS FOR ME!!! NO!!!! I MUST WALK THE LONG HARD WALK OF CLEANING MY ROOM TO FIND THE PAPER THAT HOLD THE WORDS THAT HAVE THE STUFF THAT SAYS STUFF THAT I HAVE TO DO!!!!!!... and the likes....)
{Well then... Bye folks.}
Morden Night: mordennight@hotmail.com
Agasaki Ishano: evanthewanderer@hotmail.com
(That is my ‘portfolio’ which will have Oogaly Poogaly episodes on it... for those of you who read this crap when we did Oog da Poog... you at least know what in god’s name that is.)
{No they don’t}