Self Insertion
Chapter 33
The Wedding... Part Two... As In The Second Wedding... To The First Brides Sister...
“I do.”
“And do you, Joshua(rest of name not printed due to safety reasons) take Nabiki (middle name) Tendo to be your lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for ever and ever, til death do you part?”
Josh looked around nervously at Soun, Evan, Ranma, and Tofu... who, unfortunately inherited the powers of Lockjaw and thus the form as well. “I married her sister once.” Josh offered nervously.
Evan slaps his head. “Even I’m not that dumb.”(there will be a poll for that later.)
“Do you wish to marry Nabiki?” The minister asked.
“Ever seen Blink do the Rumba? I have.” Josh said sweating.
“JOSH!!!” Nabiki yelled at him. “STOP STALLING AND ANSWER THE MAN’S QUESTION!!”
Josh lowered his head and looked shy all of a sudden. “Um.... okay?”
“Then by the power invested in me!” The minister continued. “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” Nabiki then grabbed Josh around the waist, dipped him and frenched him forcefully. Josh just let it happen with wide surprised eyes.
Evan then slapped his fist into his palm. “Oh yeah! I was supposed to save him from marriage.”
Just then Soun stood up. “NOW FOR THE RECEPTION!!!”
“LETS ALL GET DRUNK!!!!!!” Genma added.
Evan shrugged. “Guess it can wait.”
*******************
Back at the Tendo dojo. “SO WASterEd!!!!” Genma and Soun screamed simultaneously.
“YeaH!!! WooT!!!!” Evan added.
In the darkness a pair of eyes glinted. “Yes, get drunk, and soon your pants will be mine!!”
Thirty minutes later Evan, Soun and Genma were walking around without pants getting screams from the people at the party. “NINJA BOXERS!!!” Evan yelled. “YEAH BABY!!!”
SLAM!!!
A large mallet impacted with Evan’s head and Akane dragged him into the living room and tossed him violently on the couch. “He’ll be safe there.” She though out loud. “The pervert.”
*****************
In the mean time. Josh and Nabiki were fucking like mad rabbits in heat at a hotel.
*******************
Another thirty minutes later Evan woke up, still moderately drunk, but more sober than he had been, his Irish liver cleansing the booze from his body. “Holy shit I have to piss.” As he went off to do that he was stopped by a familiar face, but not one that is familiar in a good way. “What do you want Kodachi?” Evan asked.
“Come with me.” Kodachi said, trying to sound seductive but just sounding really drunk.
“No... I had a bad experience with you last time Josh got married... but you wouldn’t know about that.” Evan said as he literally danced around trying not to piss his pants.
“NOR DO I CARE!!! TAKE ME BIG BOY!!” She demanded as she lunged at Evan, catching him off guard and sending both of them to the floor where Evan had to keep her head at arms reach lest he get mauled like he did so many years ago.
“GET OFF ME YOU PSYCHO!!!!” Evan yelled as he started flailing wildly in an attempt to at least knock the bitch out.
“You will do me right now!” She commanded in a soft, concentrated voice.
Evan fought to resist as he realised that Kodachi must have picked up some form of mind control. Eventually though, he succumbed.
Five minutes later. “OH MY GOD YOU PISSED ALL OVER ME!!!” Kodachi screamed in what seemed almost like joy. She then got back to ‘work’.
*****************
Just as Josh and Nabiki were returning from the hotel they noticed a pantless Evan with shredded clothes and no pants running away from Kodachi who was laughing and screaming. “GET BACK HERE LOVER!!! AND TAKE A DUMP ON MY CHEST!!!! I’LL RETURN THE FAVOUR!!!”
“NO FORM OF MIND CONTROL COULD MAKE ME DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Evan screamed as he busted out his ice form and started using his ice sled to get away.
“Well there’s something you don’t see everyday.” Nabiki said as they watched them run past.
“You’d be surprised.” Josh muttered. He then got back to the subject they were previously on. “So Nabiki... now that we’re married and we’ve had sex... are you still under the effects of that drug thing?”
“What drug?” Nabiki asked.
Josh blinked. “You were on a drug right? Blackmailed the wrong person? Couldn’t stop the overwhelming horniness until you’ve had sexual release from a second party?” He asked trying to make her recall the conversation they had a mere day ago.
Nabiki smiled and nodded. “Ah yes the drug. Well it never existed.”
Josh’s face drooped into an expression that one might call... irate. “What.”
Nabiki wrapped her arm around her husband’s waist and took a slight hold of his tail playing with it a bit. “Well a girl’s gotta make a living somehow right? I’m married to a soon to be doctor now.” She said before resting her head on Josh’s shoulder. “And you’ve got a teenage bride with a body and a brain.”
Josh stopped in his tracks and gritted his teeth, which now sported much larger canines. “So you’re trying to tell me that all this time you’ve been trying to get into my pants just so you could dig for gold?” He asked as he glared at her.
“Well I didn’t marry rich but I’ve got a husband who’s going to become exceedingly wealthy in the near future.” She stated.
“Do you have any idea...” Josh started. “How TWISTED THAT IS!?!?!?” Nabiki backed up a little bit. Josh continued. “That’s just downright DISTURBING!!! How can you be so damn MANIPULATIVE!!! You CONNIVING LITTLE WITCH!!!”
Nabiki growled right back as people walking down the street did their best to avoid the duelling newlyweds. “WELL I THOUGHT YOU WERE CUTE!!! BUT YOU WERE NEVER GOING TO MAKE A MOVE CAUSE YOU WERE SO CAUGHT UP ON MY SISTER!!! WHO HAS NO INTEREST IN YOU AT ALL!!!”
“CAUSE I WAS MARRIED TO HER AND MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER TILL SHE DIED IN MY ARMS!!! WEEKS BEFORE ME AND YOU WERE ENGAGED!!! YOU DIDN’T REALLY GIVE ME MUCH TIME TO MOURN!!!!” Josh retaliated.
“WELL I NEEDED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR VULNERABILITY!!! I HAVE A HORRIBLE REPUTATION AND I CAN’T MANIPULATE ALL THE OTHER BOYS!!!! BLACKMAILING MONEY HUNGRY GIRLS NEED LOVING TOO!!!!” She screamed.
Josh backed up from her. “Alright... that’s it. Don’t come near me... I can’t even trust you. You’ve lied with me way too much to get me to marry you... now that we are you better start telling the truth. I’m sick of lies. I’m going home!” Just then Josh disappeared in a puff of purplish smoke leaving behind what smelt like brimstone.
Nabiki grumbled and began to walk towards the Tendo dojo.
Josh reappeared inside Nabiki’s room and growled as he began taking all of his stuff from her room and moving it into the Ranma’s room. “I finally teleported but I’m too damn mad to care about it!” He grumbled as he moved his stuff out.
The girl type Ranma was currently inside the room with Josh as he finished his moving of stuff and flopped down on his futon. “You and Nabiki have a fight or something?” She asked.
Josh sniffed disdainfully at the air. “You could say that.” Josh then looked up at the red haired twin sister of Ranma. “All the guests go home already?” He asked as she walked over and sat down across from Josh.
Ranma nodded. “Yeah. Around the end Evan ran out and was followed shortly after by Kuno’s sister. Who, speaking of which, I don’t remember being invited to the wedding.”
Josh shrugged. “What does it matter? She was only bothering Evan right?”
Ranma nodded. “Of course Kuno gave me a bit of trouble.”
“By the way.” Josh started as he lay down. “Did Kuno gain any sort of power?”
“Yeah.” Ranma confirmed. “He got some sort of stretchy power that made him all elasticy.”
Josh smiled and nodded. “Ah. I see. So Kuno got Mr. Fantastic eh? Bet he’s triple the annoyance now.” Josh chuckled for a moment and then began to get up. As he rose to a sitting position he put a hand on Ranma chan’s shoulder. “Thanks for the little chat it really MRRRMMPHH!!”
The female Ranma suddenly jumped into Josh’s and wrapped her arms around his head, kissing him passionately with her tongue while roughly tearing the shirt off the boy’s back. And moving her hands up and down his body. She suddenly pulled back and was breathing heavily as she rested her forehead against the blue skinned man’s. “I’m so sorry... I don’t know what came over me.” She stated.
Josh grabbed Ranma’s shoulder’s softly and held her back at arms length. “What in god’s name are you doing Ranma? I thought you were a guy at heart?” He questioned not truly knowing if this was some sort of behaviour altering drug or what not.
Ranma smiled and leaned in placing a little kiss on his cheek. “I guess.” She started. “When we split up into three separate people, and since I was the girl have... I started to think somewhat like a girl. That wedding was so beautiful... and you were so handsome...”
Josh lifted the girl up and placed her across from himself so that they weren’t contacting in any sexual way. “Ranma even if you are a normal girl now and even if you do like me... I am married... and what kind of husband would I be if I were to cheat on my wife? Despite how much I dislike her.” Josh looked confused. “Besides... I’m blue.”
Ranma sighed. *He’s so committed... and loyal... and trustworthy.* she thought as she stared dreamily into his bright blue eyes.
“What happened Ranma? Why are you so girly now?” Josh asked.
Ranma looked a little shy. “Well... the spring of drowned girl turns me into the female version of myself had I been born a girl minus the thinking. When we split apart into three different versions of myself the part that got the female half got the mind of Ranma if he was born a girl also. So I’m girl type Ranma to the core.” She said with a blush, now slightly embarrassed about her forced kiss with Josh.
Josh frowned as though this were really bad news. “Do the other Ranma’s know about it?” He asked.
The female Ranma sighed as she drooped her head. “No. I haven’t had the guts to tell them. They’d think that I’m still them and wouldn’t like the idea of a part of them selves liking boys.”
Josh snickered. “Then they’d question their own sexuality.”
“It’s really not as funny as you’d think.” Ranma started. “I was them so I know them... it wouldn’t be pretty.”
Josh rolled his eyes. “That’s an understatement.”
Ranma moved closer and blushed a little bit. “Do you like my hair?” She asked. “I let it down and stopped braiding it. I’m also letting it grow longer.”
“Huh?” Josh stated tactfully. “I hadn’t really noticed it till now. Lot’s on my mind you know.”
Ranma smiled and inched closer. “So do you like it? Do you think it’s pretty?”
Josh nodded and began to fidget a bit noticing her slow barely noticeable movements forward.. “It’s nice.” Josh began to back up a little, searching back and forth for some sort of escape, yet not being able to force himself to take it when he found several. She continued to advance and Josh’s spaded tale began to twitch nervously as he fell back wards and started to crawl back as the red head crawled forward. *Why can I not MOVE!?! Japanese girls! So DAMN IRRESISTIBLE!!* He thought moments before his backwards movement was stopped by a wall and a beautiful red headed Japanese girl’s face moved in so that it was a mere inch away. “Uh Ranma... This isn’t what I meant by nice.” He stated not being able to tear his eyes away from her greyish blue orbs. “I’m supposed to not be attracted to you... and you’re not supposed to be attracted to me... cause I’m married...”
Ranma was now sitting on top of his lap. Her hair tickling his nose and her natural aroma wafted into his nose. Enveloping his senses into a complete sexual awareness of her presence. Josh’s heart was pounding like a jackhammer. “I like your hair.” She said softly as she ran her hand through the short blondes of the blue skinned man.
Josh swallowed a lump in his throat. *This is not good. I’m succumbing. I’m falling into the trap of the seductress! THIS IS NOT GOOD!* Josh screamed in his head as he accidentally caught a glimpse of Ranma’s breasts down her shirt. *I can’t do this! Think of other things! Think of apples... apples are friendly, neutral, apple pie... NO! NOT APPLE PIE!!!*
Ranma then ran her hands up and down the back of Josh’s head stimulating him in a way that made him lose all thought. Josh’s brain did a quick calculation. *Asian babe + attraction + sexual stimuli = complete loss of self control.*
Josh then refused to resist anymore.
*******************
Nabiki grumbled as she walked into the Tendo house. Her father was playing shogi with the Panda version of Genma, Kasumi was in the kitchen, and Akane was forcing the male Ranmas to take her out for ice cream. “Stupid Husband!” Nabiki muttered as she walked through the house towards the stairs. She began to ascend them. “What’s wrong with a little manipulation here and there?” She wondered to herself. “It’s not like I don’t like him. I just don’t know how to do things any other way. I’m sneaky by nature.”
Nabiki then arrived at the top of the stairs and walked towards her room. She opened the door and sighed at what she saw. Josh’s futon was gone, along with his other stuff. “Just married today and he’s mad enough to move out of our room.” She said as she walked in and sat on the bed. “I figured he’d love to stay after the sex.” She said. She then smiled as she thought about that. “Best feeling ever.” She muttered to herself before turning to a saddened expression. “I shouldn’t have told him about the drug thing...”
Just then Nabiki’s head shot up as she heard a faint crashing noise from the guest room a few doors down from hers. “Josh?” she wondered with a little bit of a smile as she got up off the bed and began to move towards the door. “JOSH!?! ARE YOU HOME!?!” She called out.
Nabiki opened the door to the Ranma twin’s room and smiled hoping to find Josh there unloading his stuff in that room again. What she found surprised her. The female Ranma was laying there naked on top of a futon, with a bed sheet just barely covering her naughty parts she was sweating and breathing heavily, her clothes laying just a few feet away. “Ranma!?!” Nabiki stated shocked to see suck a sight. Normally she’d scramble for a camera to get pictures to sell to the perverts at school, but it was such a rare sight that it just startled and confused her. “What are you doing?” She wondered.
Ranma, just now registering Nabiki, grabbed the covers to cover herself more. “I was just... just... None of you’re business!” She stated, her speech broken by flustered panting.
Nabiki nodded and smiled. “I see. Just couldn’t keep your hands off yourself huh?” She asked.
Ranma just looked away and frowned. Josh wore the same style of clothing as the pigtailed boy so Nabiki paid no mind to the fact that his clothes were scattered in the same pile as Ranma’s. Nabiki did however notice the boxer shorts on the floor that Josh wore. Nabiki then looked betrayed. “Was J... my husband here? Earlier?” She asked the red head.
Ranma looked around nervously and then stifled his fears. “Yes... he dropped some stuff off, got changed and then left again. After he left I.. Well.”
Josh was currently clinging to the wall just outside of the guest room out of sight. *Thank GOD!!* He thought as he breathed a silent sigh of relief. *The female Ranma can lie good.* Josh’s eyes then became wide and his skin turned a much paler blue as he notice Akane stepping out of the dojo wiping the sweat from her forehead after a brick breaking session. *Looks like the twins ditched her and she needed to let off some steam.* He noted. *And I’m sticking to the side of the house buck naked.* He stated mentally in fear.
Josh held his breath and then jumped onto the roof of the house, making sure that he landed on the side opposite Akane’s location. Josh’s eye’s widened in fear as on the other side of the house stood Ukyo, his boss. Walking towards the house holding a plate with okinomiyaki on it. *Looks like her and Ranma made up already at the wedding.* He thought. Ukyo stopped as she caught Josh’s movements and spotted him. Josh realized this and held a finger up to his mouth. “SHHHH!!!” He stated quietly yet loud enough for her to hear.
Ukyo looked shocked confused and absolutely surprised to see a naked blue boy with blonde hair and a tail sticking to the roof of the house. Ukyo looked around to see if anyone was there and decided to investigate this phenomena by jumping up to the roof and sitting next to Josh. “What are you doing?” She whispered. “Why are you sitting up here naked?”
“Let’s just say the honeymoon didn’t exactly go as planned.” He stated. “I’m hiding from my wife right now.”
Ukyo set the plate of okinomiyaki down on the roof and took off her shirt, handing it to her blue skinned employee. “Here.” She offered. “You’ll get cold.”
Josh nodded thanks and wrapped it around his waist to cover up his... happy spot. Ukyo had her breasts wrapped up so she was still decent. “Thanks boss.” He stated. “Is the shop open?”
Ukyo shook her head. “No but if you need in for something you can borrow my key.” She said as she took a key out from her pocket and handed it to him.
Josh nodded. “Thanks luv. I’ll return it as soon as I’m done... If anyone asks... I’m keeping the store open late for you kay?”
Ukyo nodded. “Sure. What’s wrong sugar? Why all the secrecy.”
“Long and complicated story.” Josh stated simply, he then jumped up into the air and disappeared in a puff of purple smoke leaving behind Ukyo’s shirt and the smell of Brimstone.
“Quite a strange lad.” She stated out loud. She then smiled giddily. “Time to go see my Ranchan!” With that the okinomiyaki chef leapt down with the steaming plate of food and entered the Tendo household.
***************
Josh smiled as he reappeared inside the Uuchan. He then ran upstairs to where Ukyo lived and teleported inside. He then rooted through her drawers and found some clothes that would fit him. “Thank god she’s so tomboyish!” He stated happily as he quickly changed into the clothes. “Better stick with my alibi.” He noted to himself, teleporting downstairs to open up shop for the late diners.
**************
Nabiki frowned a while later that night as she sat in her room on the bed. A light rapping at the door sounded. “Come in.” Nabiki called out, not moving from her position on the bed.
Kasumi walked in with a cup of tea and handed it to her younger sister. “Here. It’ll make you feel better.”
Nabiki looked up at her sister and then took the cup. “Thanks.”
Kasumi sat down beside Nabiki and put a comforting arm around her. “Do you want to talk about it?” She asked. Nabiki just shook her head. Kasumi (who isn’t flamed on at the moment) smiled. “You know... I always thought Akane would be married first since she’s so popular with the boys.” The older sister stated. “I even thought that I’d be married before you... you really surprised us all.”
Nabiki smiled. “It was kind of sudden.”
“Are you having second thoughts?” Kasumi asked. “You are only seventeen.”
Nabiki shook her head and then took a sip from her tea. “No... but I think Josh is.”
“What do you mean?”Kasumi inquired.
“I’m not sure but I think he cheated on me.” Nabiki stated, taking another sip of the tea Kasumi gave her.
Kasumi looked confused. “But you two haven’t even been married an entire day!”
“We had a fight.” Nabiki added. “And he ran off.” She said.
“Oh my.” Kasumi stated covering her mouth in surprise. “Already?” Kasumi squeezed Nabiki’s arm. “Do you know who he might have had an affair with?” She asked concerned.
Nabiki sighed. “I’m not sure. I think it might have been Ranma or Ukyo.”
Kasumi snickered. “Ranma? But he’s a boy.”
“The girl Ranma.” Nabiki stated. “When I came home she was naked in her room sweating and all Josh’s stuff was in there, including his clothes. According to her he just changed and then left...”
“And what about Ukyo?” Kasumi asked.
Nabiki sighed. “She walked into the house while in the middle of putting her shirt on. When I asked her if she’d seen Josh she said she was just ‘with’ him. She also said he went to work to attend to the late customers.”
“Well that’s all reasonable.” Kasumi said. Maybe he changed into his work clothes and then went over to the Uuchan to open up. The Ranma part just confuses me though.”
Nabiki sighed and set down her cup. “I think I drove him to it though, if he did cheat on me.” She stated with a sigh.
“What do you mean?” Kasumi asked her.
“I always lie to him.” Nabiki started. “I manipulate him and just revealed to him that I was never honest with him in our time together.”
Kasumi frowned. “You think it’s your fault.” She questioned. She then sighed and hugged Nabiki. “You have to apologise to him.” She stated. “Married people should always be honest with each other. Honesty is the best policy and if you can’t stick with it you’ll suffer the consequences.”
Tears welled up in Nabiki’s eyes. “I really do like him. I’m just so afraid.”
Kasumi stroked her sister’s hair. “You should have been more careful jumping into such a thing as marriage.”
Nabiki snickered. “It’s partly Dad’s fault.”
“It’s mostly Dad’s fault.” Kasumi seconded.
****************
Evan breathed heavily as he slowed down to a walk in the business district in Nerima. “I think... I lost her.” he stated to himself. He had decided to flee on foot instead of using his ice powers because they just led her straight to him. “Damn that took a lot out of me.” Evan looked to the sky and noticed that it was night now. A nearby clock indicated that it was somewhere around 12:00. Evan’s stomach growled audibly and he looked around to see if there was anywhere nearby that he could get a bite to eat.
Evan noticed one food establishment open and began to walk towards it. “The Uuchan.” He stated as he entered. “That’s what Ranma calls that Ukyo chick.”
“That chick who also happens to be my boss.” came a familiar voice from behind a sizzling grill. “What’s up Evan?” Josh asked as he flipped a drunk patron’s okinomiyaki.
Evan walked over and sat down on one of the stools. “Not much. I managed to escape the clutches of that hormone enraged freak show and now I’m hungry. You seem to be the only one open.” Evan then looked around curiously. “Where’s the missus?” He asked.
Josh looked a little cautious and frowned. “We had a little bit of a fight.”
Evan smiled. “You see? I told you nothing good would come of this marriage.”
“You arranged it.” Josh stated.
“Well other than that I thought it was a bad idea.” Evan offered. “So you just decided to go to work and forget for a bit?”
“You could say that.” Josh said his face reddening a little bit.
Evan leaned in and frowned. “You’re hiding something. What is it?” Evan inquired.
“Nothing.” Josh stated rather quickly and defensively. “Nothing is wrong at all I’m perfectly fine I didn’t do nothin.”
Evan smiled. “What did you do Josh?” He asked a little forcefully this time. “I know distress when I see it. We’ve been on this dimensional journey for quite a while now and I can read you like a book just as much as you can me.”
Josh sighed as he skilfully bamfed over to the table where the other customer was and served him his okinomiyaki. “You promise not to tell anyone?” He asked his friend just before bamfing back behind the counter.
Evan crossed his fingers. “Scout’s honour.”
Josh sighed. “I don’t know why I’m doing this but... alright I’ll tell you. I guess I just have to get it out of me... cause I feel so guilty about it.” He then leaned down a little closer to Ranma and whispered. “After our fight I cheated on Nabiki and had sex with the female Ranma, but she’s the one that started it. She made all the advances!”
Evan looked shocked. “YOU HAD SEX WITH RANMA!!!!??” He asked flabbergasted.
Josh jumped forward and clasped his friend’s mouth shut. “SHUT UP!!” Josh then continued to whisper. “You never know who could be listening!”
Evan calmed down. “Okay so you had sex with Ranma... what’s the big deal?”
Josh looked amazed that Evan could be this blind. “I had sex with Ranma on my wedding night. Not even a day and I cheated! Wouldn’t you feel just a little bad?” He asked.
Evan shook his head. “No.”
“What should I do?” Josh asked, more to himself than his friend. “What kind of person am I that I would cheat on my wife on the first day of our married life together.”
“Do you like Nabiki?” Evan asked.
“Yes... but I don’t love her.” Josh stated.
Evan shrugged. “I’m stumped. I got no Idea what to do. Not that I really care a whole lot. But man... The chick Ranma’s hot!”
Josh smiled. “And insatiable apparently.” He added.
“So why’d you do Ranma anyways?” Evan asked. “I thought you were the moral old fashioned dude.”
Josh nodded. “I am.” He then added. “But how can you possibly turn down sex with these Asian chicks? I mean... they’re just so hot!”
“You turned down sex with that Nabiki chick a bunch.” Evan stated.
Josh shrugged. “She’s got a bad reputation... I always figured that she had some sort of second motive. I was right it turns out... that’s what we were fighting about... I guess you could say her lies drove me to the comfort of another woman.”
Evan nodded. “So why did you have to talk to me about it... sound pretty much like you’ve got it all figured out.” He said.
“But I feel really crappy about cheating! It just seems so... low!” Josh replied.
“So go back to Nabiki.” Evan said. “It seems like a pretty simple equation. You feel bad about it so make up... apologise. I used to do that all the time with Blink. I’d screw up, apologise, then get sex...”
Josh sighed. “I guess I’ll talk to Ranma first. She probably would want to know. I can’t lead her on too.”
“Atta BOY!!” Evan said as he pat his blue skinned friend on the shoulder. “Say do you sell alcohol here?”
“No.”
“Aw right just gimme something edible then.”
********************
The next morning Josh awoke and much to his surprise there was a woman sleeping with him, right beside him, in the same futon as him, with her arm around him, and it wasn’t his wife. *Oh CRAP!!* Josh thought as he realised what a provocative position he was in with the female Ranma at the moment. He didn’t feel ready to apologise to Nabiki just yet so he decided to stay in the guest room the night before with the Ranma twins and Genma. There was more than just him and girl type Ranma so there was no danger of any misunderstanding or conflict. He was wrong. *If Nabiki or one of the other Tendo girls finds me like this with Ranma... or even if the other Ranma’s find me like this I’m dead...* Josh looked for a way out. *She must have climbed into my futon while I was asleep.* He thought as he tried to lift Ranma’s arm slowly from himself but instead Ranma’s unconscious form grabbed his arm and rolled over, pinning his arm underneath hers and putting them both in a spooning position.
Josh’s mind screamed danger. (Wil Robinson) Josh turned his head slightly to see if there was any activity near the door. He then sighed and slowly tried to move his arm from under the red headed girl. However she had an iron grip being the advanced martial artist that she was. Josh sighed. *I can’t teleport right now... I’m in direct contact with her and it’d teleport her as well.*
Just then he heard a noise and he made a startling realization. *Kasumi gets up really early every morning to make breakfast. Kasumi is the mother figure of the household. Nabiki would have been upset last night. Kasumi would have consoled her. When next I appeared she would talk to me too.* Josh then looked towards the door that led to the guest room.
“Josh?” Came Kasumi’s voice from outside the door before it opened and she walked through. “Could I talk to you?” She asked. She then scrunched her serene face into one of disgust. “Oh my it’s smelly in here.” She looked to each of the individual futons and realized that Josh and female Ranma were both gone.
Ranma awoke suddenly as she was jarred by sudden movements. “Hmmmn...” She then looked up and noticed she was being cradled in the arms of the man who made love to her the night before. Ranma smiled at the memory and at the man, leaning up and trying to kiss him in the mouth. Josh however moved out of the kiss’s line of fire and set Ranma down now that he realized she was awake. “What’s going on?” Ranma asked. “Why are we at the school?” She asked realizing now as she looked around that they were both indeed inside the school’s Gymnasium.
Josh sighed. “Why did you climb into my futon last night?” He asked. “What if someone caught us?”
Ranma shrugged. “I just wanted to be with you. Is that so wrong?”
“Yes!” Josh said, standing up. “Yes it is a problem when I’m married to someone else. It’s just no...” Josh then looked at Ranma surprised. “What are you wearing!?” He questioned.
Ranma smiled. She was wearing female undergarments, pink ones to be exact. “I thought since I’m all girl now I should dress like one. I went shopping. Do you like it?” She asked, striking a very sexy and provocative pose that showed of her curves and her posterior in a way that would drive most men wild.
Josh gritted his teeth. “Yes I like it a lot! That’s the problem!”
Ranma looked confused “Huh?”
Josh sighed again. “Last night...” He started.
“Was amazing!” Ranma finished for him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I feel like a whole new person.”
Josh backpedalled a little bit as he tried desperately to keep their lips from connecting less he suffer a relapse. “Ranma what I did with you was wrong. I shouldn’t have done it... I betrayed Nabiki, my wife, by doing that. We can’t do that ever again.”
Ranma let go of Josh. “Why? You liked it. I liked it.”
Josh sighed. “Ranma sex is... it’s... well. You have to be married to do it. And if you are married... you should only do it with the person you’re married to.”
Ranma smiled and then pressed herself up against her one time, blue skinned, tailed, lover. “So then How about you marry me?”
“I can’t!” Josh state.
“Why?”
“Cause I’m already married to Nabiki!” The elf like blonde replied rather forcefully. Josh then looked inquisitive. “Ranma... has your dad ever told you anything about sex or marriage?” He asked.
Ranma shook his head. “Other than the fact that my guy half is engaged to Akane no... but I like it.”
Josh slipped out of Ranma’s grasp and desperately tried not to look at her mostly naked body. “I need to do some serious thinking right now Ranma... until I come up with a solution we can’t be with each other. It’s immoral.” Josh then paused. “And you have to talk to your dad... ask him where your mom is. She’s still alive.” With that Josh disappeared in a puff of purplish smoke.
*******************
Author’s notes: {Well this one was just packed full of romance wasn’t it. This is the Self Insertion Soap opera special chapter. Can you feel the love tonight? Can you feel the evil? Oh I can. This is probably the most Romance that I’ve ever put into SI. It’s just creepy how much there is. You know what I just realised? The word “is” spelt backwards is SI!!! Woah! Shocking ne? Well until the next chapter... Doitashimashite and Sayonara!}
(Insert Evan rant here.)
Morden Night: mordennight@hotmail.com
Agasaki Ishano: evanthewanderer@hotmail.com