Self Insertion

Disclaimer: You should know the drill by now. Sides... I've got one on the main page.

You should know all the rest that come after as well. If you've read THIS far!

[Paul's notes]

Chapter 17

Oh Crap!

Goku sighed as he walked into Chi Chi's home, the remote to their T.V. stuffed in his back pocket. "Stupid Police and their sending me back on account of Chi Chi calling them." He griped as he shoved Goten off the couch and clicked the channel to MTV.

Goku sighed deeply as his alternate dimensional son glared at his dad and marched off to tell his mom. Minutes later an infuriated Chi Chi stormed out of her bedroom and stomped in front of the TV. "Goku." She menaced.

"Yeah what? Can it wait? Cause I really don't care." He said apathetically.

Chi Chi's aura became a flaming visible crimson as she struck a loose fighting stance. "No one, not even you, hurt my boy's feelings." She growled.

Goku shrugged and laid flat out on the couch so he could see around the flaming aura. The insane wife launched herself at her husband who responded by creating a chi barrier around himself and thus sending Chi Chi into a wall. "Wow, It sure became quiet all of a sudden." He joked to himself as a thin stream of blood ran down Chi Chi's forehead.

***********

THUD!!

Trunks impacted with a wall in the room of time and space. "Your good boy." Vegeta said as he got out of his fighting stance and walked over to help his 'son' off the floor.

"Thanks dad." Trunks groaned as the golden tinge in his hair faded back to mauve.

"We need to get you buff boy." Vegeta said as he extended a hand to the young half Saiyan. "But we'll get to work on that just after you get used to the gravity without Super Saiyan."

Trunks stood up, quavering slightly, "I can stand here, but moving is kind of hard."

Vegeta did a back flip just to show off to his 'son'. "It's not that hard. I should take about a week or less." Vegeta landed and shot toward Trunks with one fist extended.

Trunks rolled to the left, evading his father's attack. He got into a kami-sennin stance and prepared to block his father's next attack. Vegeta launched a volley of ki balls, which Trunks deflected and fired his own volley. Vegeta laughed as the balls dissipated in his aura. "Not bad. I think your about there." He said as he fired a beam of energy.

Trunks flew into the air, dodging the beam which twisted around for a second run at the boy. The beam of blue energy connected with the half Saiyan's back sending him flying into his father's arms. Vegeta started to laugh, his son joined in after blinking off the pain in his spine. "Good work Trunks. But next time attempt to watch what is going on behind you."

The pair laughed as Vegeta carried his son out of the training room and into the Palace type area of the room of Time and Space. "BLINK!!! WE'RE BAAACK!!!" Vegeta called out as a now visibly pregnant woman walked out of the bedroom area.

"What is it Evan?" She asked, sounding moderately annoyed.

Trunks scratched his head. "Um, daddy? Why has Other mom been calling you Evan?"

Vegeta smiled as he set the boy down. "Well, Due to my name truly being Evan, I suppose it works. You see Trunks, Daddy has been on a inter dimensional trip since he was 16 and has been gaining powers since then. Daddy is a mutant, vampire, technological genius, used to be symbiotic with three separate beings one of which daddy made, spell caster, and almost a wedding wrecker." Vegeta said with a smile as he crossed his arms and awaited his boy's response.

"Wow..." Trunks said as his jaw made a bee line for the floor.

"Yeah." Vegeta said as he walked over to his girlfriend and put a hand gently on her stomach. "This ones getting big." He said as he bent down and put a ear up to where the baby was.

Blink giggled as Vegeta's large, spiky hair tickled Blink's nose. "God man! Your hair is huge!" She joked as she pushed the Saiyan's massive locks out of her face.

Vegeta stood up and brushed his hair back. "Whoh, don't mess with the fro."

**********

Chi Chi frowned as she opened up her eyes and blinked them a bit. The first thing that she saw was a picture of her husband Goku. "G...Goku?" She asked as the image blurred. Goku smiled and she hugged the blurry image.. "Oh Goku!!" She said happily.

Goku pushed her back gently and looked at her concerned. "I'm sorry for throwing you at the wall by accident."

Chi Chi looked a little confused and looked around. She noticed Goten and Gohan sitting on the couch farther away. "Wh... Wha?" She wondered stupidly as she blinked and looked around some more. Goku smiled at her and it melted her heart.

"You should stop being so strict and protective." He said with a chuckle. "It's no wonder Evan thinks you're a freak." Chi Chi glared at Goku and frowned. Piccolo was in the background eating a banana.

"What!?" She growled.

Goku chuckled some more and held up his index finger. "There you go again. You keep on jumping to conclusions. Just like that freak show Akane."

"FREAKSHOW!?!"" She screamed.

Goku nodded. "Yup. I really don't like her. I'm trying to be nice to you but I can't be ordered around and manipulated like the old Goku. You may have gotten used to that but I'm my own man. You don't tell me what to do." Goku smiled and held up a finger to shush the mother of two. "Don't even start. I'm a freaking Saiyan. I can with stand anything you throw at me... that and I've got a nifty Spider Sense." Before Chi Chi could continue bitching Goku stood up and half turned away from her. "Now if you don't mind I'm gonna go take care of my only son.

Goku then turned around and walked towards the room where they were keeping Morden, who was currently trapped in the body of Dabura.

**************

several months later, in the room of time and space...

Trunks fired a massive beam past his father. "HOLY CRAP BOY!!" Vegeta screamed as the beam singed his hair. "You could do some damage."

Trunks gasped for breath as he got into a loose stance. "You told me to go all out dad." He stated.

"Good. You had no remorse there. That's the stuff I'm looking for, the stuff that separates you from the wusses." Vegeta said almost cheerily. "Now then, let's see how the baby is."

Trunks smiled as seemed to regain his energy as his father said this. "Alright!!"

A few minutes later Vegeta and Trunks walked into the main bedroom of the room of time and space. "Blinky? How are my girls?"

Blink held smiled and looked up from the currently breast-feeding baby girl. "She's as energetic as always, and draining me dry!" She laughed.

Vegeta smiled and picked Trunks up, putting him on his shoulders. "Well, you know there's nothing me and the boy can do. We aren't quite built for that. Eh Trunks?"

Trunks laughed "Yeah!"

Vegeta smiled as he did a back flip, Trunks still on his shoulders. "Look what we can do." Said the Saiyan proudly.

"Great Evan. I'm sure that will come in handy." Blink said, mocking her boyfriend.

Vegeta put Trunks down and pointed a finger at Blink looking very serious. "Hey missy. If it wasn't for me and my ability to learn things extraordinarily fast, that baby might not be sucking on your boobs right now."

Blink smiled. "And that's a bad thing? This kid is powerful."

Trunks walked up to his step mommy of sorts, and climbed onto the bed. "So... what are you going to name it?"

Blink and Vegeta looked at confused. "Name? Never thought of that." Vegeta said, pondering the fact.

"Well, I have put some thought to it." Blink said. "I think it should be named Sandra."

Vegeta looked appalled. "_WHAT_!?! As in Bullock? Heeelll no!"

Blink glared at Vegeta. "Support me here. I just made this thing, I should be able to at least pick what we're going to call her."

Vegeta crossed his arms and pouted. "I did most of the work."

Blink growled. "_YOU_!?! _WORK_!?! I think _NOT_!!"

Vegeta sniffled. "This isn't helping my self esteem. Besides I spent at least five minutes figuring out the whole doctor thing. She should be named... Yoritomo Gusai the second... but a girl."

Blink, blinked... "what? No. Something moderately normal. I don't want my little girl to go to school and be made fun of for her dumb name her dad gave her."

Vegeta smirked. "School? Heeelll no. I did that once, worse time of my life, luckily I was sucked into a dimension portal of my own magical creation, ok accidental magical creation and went on a cool trip which allowed me to run into the most beautiful woman I will ever meet, and I don't even treat her right." Blink perked up.

"Aww, you really mean it?"

"Yeah, but Josh took her. Bastard." Blink glared.

"If I wasn't feeding this child of ours, I would rip your testicles off." She snarled.

Vegeta backed up a step. "I was joking!! Of course I meant you! Kasumi has nothing on you! You're ten times hotter, ten times nicer, and you are the perfect girl for me."

Blink didn't seem to be in a forgiving mood. "Just for that I am naming the child."

Vegeta smiled, "No you're not. I have the legal papers in my back pocket. You can call it what ever you want, but the rest of the world will call her what I write on this lovely piece of paper." He said, summoning the correct papers to his back pocket and pulling them out in one fluid motion. "Now then, shall I call her, Mystic lady?"

"NOOOOO!!!!"

"Hehehe"

**********

Goku all of a sudden shivered. Paul/Picolo smiled as he sat down at the opposite side of the table and set down a set of cards. "Full house!" He stated.

Goku frowned and slammed his cards on the table. "DAMN IT!! IT'S A TIE AGAIN!!!"

Paul stroked his green chin and looked concerned. "This makes no sense." He said.

Goku glared at the green creature across from him. "NOOO!!!!" He said sarcastically. "YOU DON'T THINK!!!" Goku then leaned back in his chair. "Where the HELL is Vegeta!? I'm Bored!! Chi Chi's been bitching all day and neither of us has won a dime off each other in poker... THIS SUCKS!!!"

"I comprehend that." Paul said, laughing a bit at his own bad joke. "Evan is in the room of time and space."

Goku looked at the Namekian curiously. "Yes... and where is that oh comprehensive one?"

"Kami's tower. Speaking of which your daughter is trapped in the body of Kami."

"Lilith!?!?!" Goku exclaimed. "SHE'S KAMI!?!?!... who's Kami?"

"Guardian of Earth."

"LILITH IS THE GUARDIAN OF EARTH!?!?!" Goku screamed. "Cool. What's Guardian of Earth."

"Sort of like a god, more a demi god though, but still a god in all respect. And she is soul linked to me."

"COOL! I GOT A DEMI-GOD PERSON AS A DAUGHTER!!... what's a soul link?"

"Oh come ON!!!"

"WHAT!!!? I never watched DBZ! DAMN IT!!" Goku exclaimed.

"I'm bored. You?"

"Yup."

"Oh yeah."

"Wanna see what Lilith is doing."

"Probably craping her pants."

"She is only a couple months old."

"Yup."

"Oh yeah."

************

Vegeta smiled as he walked out of the room of time and space and got a breath of fresh air. "Aaaah! It feels good to breath REAL air." He said, Trunks and Blink following behind him. Vegeta then noticed that Goku and Picolo were both standing there with Kami and Dabura lying down in the background, crawling around and craping their pants.

Evan stared in horror at the scene. "OH MY GOD THE SMELL!!!!" The prince of the saiyans quickly covered his nose and turned away. Mystic Lady started to cry because of the smell and Trunks turned green, hopefully not with envy.

Goku nodded. "It was bad when they were normal babies and they crapped their pants all the time... but now they're old people with weak bladders! IT NEVER STOPS!! PLEASE MAKE THE CRAPING STOP!!!!"

Goku began to cry and a single tear fell from Piccolo's right eyes. "The madness must end!" He said as he pointed a glowing orb of energy at the dynamic craping duo. Goku punched Piccolo and he held his stomach in pain.

"Guess what Paul?... NO!!" Goku smiled weakly. "Once we get out of this universe then they'll be back to their normal selves I'm sure. Right?"

No one answered.

"RIGHT!!!!!!?????!!!!!" Goku said in desperation.

Evan smiled weakly as well. "Weeeeelll In theory yes. But due to the amount of time they are going to be spending in those bodies they may retain some qualities."

"Why exactly?"

"Um, well, I suppose it would be the fact that their mentality fuses slowly with the 'host' and gives the 'symbiote' the idea that it is indeed the host, and in turn strips the host of genes adding them to the symbiotes genetic makeup. Basically."

"Oh." Goku said, allowing the logic to sink in for a second. "So I have demonic and godly kids." Vegeta nodded solemnly. "Great, Kasumi is going to kill me. Why is it that you get normal kids and I get super powered cursed kids. IT'S NOT FAIR!!!"

Vegeta shrugged. "Meh. My kid is not exactly normal." Blink glared at Vegeta coldly, "_Our_ kid." he corrected himself, Blink smiled.

"What do you mean, 'not normal'?" Josh queried.

"Well, I ran a gene test on the little lady. Heh. Mystic. And the X-factor came up positive. Oh and I made some cool teleporter thingies off of a sample of Blink's genetic material."

Blink blushed making Goku wonder exactly WHAT material that could possibly be.

"This might hurt a bit." Vegeta said as he slammed a metallic device into Goku's arm. "This will remain on you once you leave this body, I'm just getting a soul link on it now."

"THAT HURT!!"

"That's cause it's got a bitch load of pointy stuff on the bottom so that it can get to you 'chi'. I already got one so don't cry." Vegeta said in a sort of kiddy voice. "Instant transmission." He muttered as he appeared behind Piccolo and slammed a similar device to the Namekian's arm.

"OH GOD!!! THE PAIN!!"

Vegeta looked at the bottom of the next one noting the vast array of needles, knives, and broken metal. "Yup, bitch load of pointy... pointless things. The one in the middle is the only one that does anything. Suckers."

Goku punched Vegeta in the face before he could notice it coming. "YOU FUCKING FUCKER!!!!" Goku screamed causing Kami and Dabura to cry and crap their pants. "WHAT THE _HELL_ WAS THE POINT OF MUTILATING OUR ARMS!?!?!?" He yelled angrily.

Paul countered that with a similar shout. "YOU MADE THEM CRAP AGAIN!!! EVAAAAN!! TODAY IS THE DAY YOU DIE!!!!!" Him and Goku then ran towards him to beat him into a bloody pulp.

Vegeta held out a hand, stopping both of them via telekinesis. "The point is elementary, I, a vampiric being, require the blood of others. Consequently I can not drink blood in this body, or do not have the need to, so I suppose the sight of blood will be enough to tide me over for a short amount of time. Oh yeah, and Blink? What do you think about Akane as a name for our bundle of joy?"

Goku looked shocked and afeared. "You... You wouldn't!"

Vegeta smiled evilly. "JUST WATCH ME!!!" He growled.

Blink thought about it for a moment and smiled. "I like it!" She said.

"Then it's agreed." Vegeta noted. From now on our daughters name will be AKANE JUNIOR!!!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" Goku screamed. "One's bad enough!"

Akane then crapped her pants.

***************

Vegeta sat on the porch of Goku's humble abode, Akane Jr on his knee. "Well my little girl, though your name is only for revenge, your mother likes it so it stays. I suppose I have to put it on paper soon don't I?" He said as Akane giggled and he summoned the pen and paper which would seal the young girls name forever. He looked at the dotted line and filled it out. *Akane... what is Blink's last name? Or do I use mine? Intriguing.*

Vegeta wandered into the house and approached his girlfriend. " Hey Blinkiepoo? What do I put down as a last name for young Akane here?"

Blink pondered that. "I really don't know. I suppose we could use mine."

Evan smiled and summoned a diamond ring behind his back. "I have an idea. But it will take some commitment."

Blink blushed, already guessing what was to come.

"Blink." Vegeta paused for a second to add drama, "Will you marry me?"

Blink, though she had figured out what was to come, jumped into the air with joy. "YES!! YES YES YES!!"

Vegeta set Akane on the nearby couch and hugged his fiancé. Blink arched her back slightly and planted a kiss on Vegeta's lips, who in turn returned the kiss and the two eventually landed on the couch, making out with Akane nearby.

It degraded from there...into an early honeymoon.{shudder}

*****************

Goku sighed as he watched Dabura and Kami babble and lie on their backs... doing virtually nothing. "What did I do to deserve this?" He muttered out loud. All of a sudden Krilin walks in and wave to Goku.

"Hey Goku." he said.

Goku smiled in his direction. "Banana's and strawberry daiquiris." The Saiyan replied nonsensically.

"Huh?" Krilin said.

Goku smiled and punched him in the nuts. "Exactly!"

Krilin fell to the ground in pain. "GokuUUUUU!!! Why? Why did you do it?"

Goku smiled. "I've been sitting here all day watching Demon baby and twig baby. I needed some entertainment."

Krilin stood up uneasily. "Oh well don'AAAAAAAAUUUGH!!!" Krilin then fell to the floor with a loud thump as Goku punched him in the nuts again.

"I needed more entertainment." Goku said, before turning on the TV and using Krilin as a footstool. "Now! I want a foot massage!"

"But..."

WHACK!!!

"NOW!!!!!!!!!!"

Just then Vegeta walked into the room with his pants on backwards and Blink's shirt. "Wazzup? I see it is Krillin beating time. Splendid." He said as he walked up to the bald retard and hoofed him in the face. "I feel better." He stated in a British accent.

Goku smiled goofily and gave Vegeta a thumbs up. "That's some nice face kickin." He muttered. He then looked back to the TV and pointed to the screen. "Hey Vegeta! Teletubies is on. Want to laugh?"

Vegeta looked at the screen. "Is the TV important to you?"

Goku shook his head no.

BLAM!!!

A nine millimeter round impacted with the electron gun in the back of the TV, leaving a large hole in the glass. "Good. Teletubies evil. Evil must die. Wanta kill some Zombies? I got guns."

Goku looked at Vegeta, "You've been reading Megatokyo haven't you?"

Vegeta smiled, "They have it in this world too! I'm not sure about the Zombies but... There is a planet with hideous green life forms on it that are ripe for the killing."

Goku glared at Vegeta. "You can't mean Namek?"

Vegeta looked around aimlessly, "Noooooooyesooooo. I'm going to Nam...rek. Yeah, that's it. Namrek. Bye." He said as he used instant transmission and disappeared.

***********

Later on planet Namek (Namrek you bastard!!)(... Wait, I'm arguing with myself.)

BLAMBLAMBLAM!!!!!

"DIE YOU PETTY GREEN PEOPLE!!!" Vegeta screamed as he unleashed many a round upon the locals.

All of a sudden (Our lovely line.) Goku shows up. "AAAAAY!!" He says much like the Fons. "I'm here to kill stuff."

"Ok. Here's a sub-machine gun." He said as he tossed Goku the weapon and three clips. "Enjoy killing shit."

"And how!" Goku said before picking up the gun and started mowing everything in sight down.

************

Later on Goku and Vegeta walk into Goku's home with purple blood splattered all over themselves. They had their arms around each others shoulders and were laughing like madmen. "Hey!" Goku started. "See when I pushed those children out of the way?" Goku then added: "With a magnum."

Vegeta laughed and nodded. "Yeah! And then when I threw that paralyzed midget over that cliff? With a BFG!?!?"

BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!! They laughed.

Vegeta instantly became serious. "It's all good. But I think after such a killing spree we should celebrate by going to a fancy restaurant and shoot stuff."

Goku nodded enthusiastically. "Yes my friend."

*************

Later at a Five Star restaurant called the Hurcule Eatery, Vegeta and Goku sat at a table with plate upon empty plate sitting in front of them. Suddenly a waitress stepped up to the table. "Can I offer you some more wine?" Vegeta's eyes flared as he stepped up onto the table.

"WOMAN!! YOU DO NOT TELL ME WHEN I WANT MORE WINE!!! I WILL TELL YOU!!! NOW GET ON THE FLOOR OR I'LL WASTE EVERY FRIGGEN ONE OF YOU!!!" screams ensued as Vegeta whipped out his chrome nine millimeter and pointed it randomly around the room.

***********

Back at Goku's house. "Where have you two been?" Chi Chi inquired.

Vegeta wiped some of the blood off Blink's shirt, which he was still wearing. "Nowhere... but did you see when I pushed those children out of the way?" He paused for effect. "WITH A MAGNUM!!!"

Goku burst into laughter. "YEAH!! And when I pushed that paralyzed midget over the cliff." He paused for his effect. "WITH A BFG!!!!" The two broke down into uncontrollable laughter. Chi Chi frowned and turned on the TV she had just purchased.

"In the News today, in the acclaimed Hurcule Restaurant fifty people where shot dead, include some little children and a paralyzed midget..." Chi Chi turned the TV off and glared at Vegeta and Goku. Vegeta shrugged and put a large hole in the new TV via his nine millimeter pistol.

Goku laughed as if he was on some serious laughing, happy pills. "Yeah! This isn't our real universe so we can kill as much people as we want."

Chi Chi glared at Goku. "What did you say?" She growled.

Vegeta pointed his pistol at Chi Chi, "Shut up ho." He muttered, squeezing off one round that impacted in the wall only inches from her head. "Warning shot."

Chi Chi growled and grabbed the guns away from Vegeta and Goku. She destroyed them by snapping them all in half and glared at them. She then magically ripped their clothes off without ruining them. "I'm going to wash these off and you two stay here!" She yelled at them. She then turned around to face them once she started to leave. "AND NO MORE KILLING!!!!" She screamed.

Vegeta and Goku reeled back at the decibel level of the scream. A naked Vegeta looked over at the naked Goku in slight fear. "Should we do as she says?" He asked.

Goku nodded. "Yeah. I think so. Kasumi would probably have my head anyway if she found out that I went on a killing spree."

Vegeta chuckled. "Too true. However... She didn't say that we couldn't run around the United States in the buff!" Vegeta offered enthusiastically.

Goku smiled. "We are turning SOOOOO evil." He noted before they both ran out of the house to the ensuing screams of the locals to the DBZ universe.

****************

Later on Goku and Vegeta, now fully clothed in fine Armani suits, with stylish sunglasses and their hair slicked back, were walking down the streets of Hollywood. It was dark out and the many lights of the city shone bright in the darkness. Goku smiled sexily at a group of females that walked by and they all fainted. Vegeta laughed and then kicked a few of them for no reason in particular. Goku looked confused as his friend did this. "Hey Evan. Why are we so violent in these DBZ bodies? I'm not normally one to fight for no reason."

Vegeta made sure his hair was slicked back by looking in a storefront window and smiled at what he saw. "We're saiyans now. We're violent by nature. Our very genes have violence written into them."

Goku smiled. "Oh. I'll have to remember that." He paused and noticed some heavy commotion up ahead. "Hey Veggie." He said pointing down the street. "Looks like a movie screening." Vegeta smiled and took off into the air.

"Lets go show off and show them that we're better than all of them put together." He said.

Goku looked confused. "Why?"

Vegeta began to fly in the direction of the crowd. "Because we can." Goku shrugged and took off along side Vegeta.

************

Vegeta hovered over the crowd a short minute later, bombing the masses with chi balls. "WHEEE!!! DIE YOU BASTARDS!!!! WHO ARE BASTARDS FOR REASONS UNKNOWN TO ME AND THE REST OF THE PUBLIC AT LARGE!!!" Vegeta did an aerial backflip and laughed evilly until he started to cough. No sooner did he start to cough, then a group of Feds drove up and pointed their vast artillery at the Saiyan Prince. "YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP ME!?! NO ONE CAN STOP THE MIGHTY VEGETA!!!!"

Goku just stood(in mid air) watching with confusion. "Okay. I figured we'd just wow them with our ability to fly and our devilish good looks." Goku touched down on tera firma, whipped it out and took a pee on tom Cruise's corpse.

"Too true, way to pee on the stupid dead guy. Man, dead guys are sooo stupid. All dead and the likes.... dead people heh... dead." Vegeta said as he touched down and sneezed on some other dead model. "EAT BACTERIA!!! THINKEN YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!! WELL ACHOO ON YOU DEAD PERSON!!!" Vegeta paused to wipe a tear from his eye. "I crack me up."

Goku paused to wipe his bum on Stephen Speilberg's Jacket. He wasn't dead. Goku laughed as he did a David Spayde impression. "I got the POO on YOU!!"

"HIs bum is on the Speilberg, his bum is on the Speilberg." Vegeta sang.

"Look at ME!!" Goku pitched in.

"His bum is on the spielberg." Vegeta fell to the ground laughing and firing random chi blasts at Federal agents. "WHEEE! I CAN KILL PEOPLE!!!"

Goku neglected to pull up his pants and smiled at Stephen Speilberg. "Hey!" He said. "I'll keep my friend from killing you if you let us both act in one of your movies... leading roles of course."

Vegeta hopped up onto his feet and crouched down, putting one hand in the air and dragging another on the ground. "LOOK AT ME I'M ET!!!" He said as he wobbled across the street waving on hand around wildly screaming in a demented voice. "ET PHONE HOME!!! ET CALL COLLECT!!! ET DO BUSINESS AD WITH MR.T!!!" Vegeta fell once more to the ground, laughing uncontrollably.

Speilberg wet his pants. "You two are insane!" He noted.

Goku magically produced a gun. "Yahuh. You want to live still?"

**************

(Two years later.)

Vegeta and Goku sat in a lonely theater watching the first screening of their movie. The theater was empty, there was actually cricket sounds and a tumbleweed rustled by the front of the theater's first rows. Vegeta leaned back in his chair with a the popcorn machine sitting in the chair beside him. "I hate to say it, but we suck at acting. Your not bad in some scenes but this movie has more gratuitous violence then a Segul movie. I think I have snapped about forty necks and four of them were presidents of foreign countries." Vegeta slurped his oversized drink.

Goku shrugged, but the plot was good. All Speilburg movies have a good plot, except AI..." Goku pondered this while Vegeta got an evil grin.

"I now have a calling." Vegeta stated in a religious voice. "Before we leave a universe that has either AI or Star Wars episode 1 I must assassinate the child actors who starred. This mission has been presented to me by God himself... Or his counter part... but none the less those two shall die and my bullet will be the one to enter their evil skulls!!! FOR IT IS I WHO MUST SAVE THE MINDS OF IMPRESSIONABLE CHILDREN EVERYWHERE!!!" Vegeta stopped. "I have to pee." He said as he stood up, turned away from the screen and pissed all over the hobo who was sleeping in the row behind them.

Goku frowned. "Uuuuhno... just the episode 1 kid." Goku then shivered. "Flashbacks of the yippee line."

************

(Five months later.)

Vegeta burst through the door of Goku's home. "WE ARE LEAVING!!!" He excitedly shouted. "GOKU!!! PUSH THE BUTTON ON THE SPIKY THING ON YOUR ARM!!! I WANT TO BE ME AGAIN!!!"

Goku looked up from his copy of their movie 'Cowyboy's with flying powers who break a lot of necks'... 'part one of four.' "But who is going to play us in the sequels? There are going to be sequels."

Vegeta shrugged. "We can always film them in other universes transport back here and leave them with a death threat on Steven's front porch."

Goku smiled. "Okay... could be fun." Vegeta, Goku, and Piccolo all then pressed their armband buttons and disappeared.

Blink stayed... she'd follow once she found out which dimension they'd went to. Lilith and Morden were already dimentionally hopped. Akane Crapped her pants, and all was well in DBZ.

The End

NOT!!! HHHAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! FOOOOLED YOU!!!!

***************

Author's Notes: {WE decided that this is our bastard chapter. It's almost ALL completely nonsensical nonsense. That and we we're being extra bastards by skipping as much as possible. We we're super bastards by peeing on hobo's and Tom Cruises, and wiping our asses on Stephen Speilbergs. We REALLY crossed the line when we forced him to make us three sequels in five months. The original's always the best anyway. As for what we did in the years and months between... it consisted of a lot of Sequels, peeing on celebrities, snapping necks, and being polite and priest like whenever Kasumi shows up. Hmmm what else could I say? Oh lets just wrap it up by saying we are bastards.}

(BEHOLD!! EVAN SPEAKS!!! Oh and I didn't wipe my ass on nobody!! And sequels are most always bad can anyone say Escape from LA? I sure can! And it means EVIL AND BAD!!! BAD AND EVIL TOGETHER EQUALS EVIL PLUS BAD!!! RAMBLE RAMBLE, RAMBLE RAMBLE, some more ramblings ensue. And LO!! THE EVIL THAT ENSUES IS VERY EVIL INDEED!!! EVIL IS BAD AND BAD IS EVIL!!!fhweo98sdkfkdikfosi)

{Alright STOP ALREADY!!!}

(And now for some random l33t.4/\/d \/\/h3n j00 f|/\/d 4 br4|/\/ 0n t|-|3 str33t j00 c4/\//\/0t \/\/4s|-| |t c[3an \/\/|th s04p 4/\/d \/\/4t3r!! /\/0!!! j00 /\/\ust t|-|i/\/k |t cl34n!!!)

{Ph33r /\/\y b33r!}

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http://www.geocities.com/mordennight/MordensPictureGalleries.htm

Agasaki Ishano:agasaki@death-star.com

www.anihighisdeadsoidonthaveanactualwebsite.com

take THAT animeaddiction!

(Note... that last thing makes no sense...BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA}